Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Left Behind

Last Friday, my boss submitted his resignation.  That (and some other things) is the work stress I have been referring to this month.  I knew it was coming and part of me was ready for him to resign as I was tired of carrying the weight of knowing he was leaving; another part of me was extremely sad as it made me face the fact that he really, truly is leaving.

I know I had an atypical relationship with my boss, and I am lucky to have worked for someone like him.  But I am sad.  Both of us thought we would work as partners for years upon years. I don't fault him for leaving - I'd be doing the same thing if I was in his shoes.  I know he will continue to mentor me from afar, we'll meet for the occasional lunch, and I'll have dinner with his family, but it's just not the same.  I'm losing my daily support system, mentor, and confidant.

I feel pretty down about my work situation right now, but I also know that things have a way of working themselves out.  I know this case of the 'sads' will fade with time and I will rise above and make the most of it, but right now - I'm sad.  And scared. I leaned on him quite a bit and partnered with him on so much, it's a bit daunting to think of doing it all alone.

But our lives are so impacted by our outlook, so I am really trying to keep things in perspective.  We both have long careers ahead of ourselves, so maybe our paths will cross again in the future.  Also, I am very thankful that this is not happening in the midst of CFA study season.  And at the end of the day, there is so much more to me than what I do for a living.  Years ago, I learned to not let work become too big of a piece of my identity.  There are lots of other wonderful things in my life that define who I am, and bring me joy, so I will just intentionally turn my eyes towards those things. Things like my health, great family and friends, and my love of running.

And when I feel pulled down by my situation at work, I look at this quote, and feel a bit better.

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21 comments:

Becky said...

I'm sorry you won't get to work with him anymore - you two were a great team! "And at the end of the day, there is so much more to me than what I do for a living." SO MUCH YES! Hope this week is good to you!

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I know I already knew this- but I'm still sorry to hear. I can relate a bit, as I lost two good friends at work this year, one to moving and one to a crappy situation. Also my good friend/aide that I had for two years got a teaching job in another school. So I will be missing a lot of people come next week. Sigh.

BUT on a positive note.... haha I just felt like I had to say that but I'm having trouble coming up with something positive. Last week of summer Kelly is a real downer. I'll come up with something later I'm sure!

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Moving around as much as I did when I was with CLL and working with so many people running one company - I can completely understand what you're going through. It is so hard, but like you said, you will still be friends and confidants for each other. In fact, things could eventually work out for the best later on down the road, or who knows, maybe his replacement will be someone awesome! You just never know.

missris said...

I love that quote. I think you will totally make the best of the situation and come out on top!

Stephany said...

I'm very bummed for you because I know you two had a very close relationship. It sucks but you're right - your job does not define you and having a positive outlook helps SO much.

Thinking of you!

Amber said...

Oooh I LOVE that quote!!!

I know this has been really hard for you and a sucky situation but I know things will also turn around for you, hopefully soon! Thinking of you!!

Barb Geier said...

I am so sorry these are tough times for you. As your Grandpa McDougall used to always say to us when we were down, "Chin up!" I have had to say that to myself so many times in life. He will always be close inside my heart.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Yeah, big bummer one of your favorite people is moving on. But, I think you touched on something really important here. This is an opportunity for you to do something on your own, without your (former) boss to catch you. And you know what? I think you're ready for it. I know it's more complicated than this, but I think these coming months will be very telling about just how capable you are in the workplace!

J said...

I totally felt the same way when my co-worker/mentor left in January. I didn't know it was coming so I was sightly more shocked. It was tough but it made me a better person and I know it benefited me. Since your situation is slightly different hopefully it is a smooth transition for you to a new boss and things work out!

Raquelita said...

That is really a bummer, but it is a bit of a silver lining that you have the kind of relationship where he'll continue to mentor you from afar. I hope you rise above the sads soon.

Marlys said...

That is a great quote, and I'm sure you will grow from this! You may surprise yourself at how strong and confident you really are! And like Dad always said, "Chin up"! Thanks to Barb for reminding me of that!

Melissa said...

Oh that really sucks about your boss! I can sympathize with you, as my company has lost most of my favorite managers- the ones I became closest to, and particularly the one who hired & trained me. It was really hard to see him go. I've been lucky enough to find in my current boss a friend and a mentor, and hopefully she's sticking around for the moment. Like you said, things have a way of working out, so I have no doubt that regardless of the fact that this particular boss has left, there is someone not too far away that will impact your life positively as well!

Gracie said...

I'm sorry. I'd feel the same if my boss quit - well, not quite the same, as we aren't close, but we do work well together.
You're a strong worker of course, so you will make the best of this and impress your new boss I'm sure!

Caroline said...

I admire your positive outlook and how you're not going to let this get you down. As you know, I've had to deal with work unpleasantness and I wasn't as good as looking at the bright side as you. You're right, work isn't everything. I think I need to remind myself this more often. Hope things start to look up!

Jeanie said...

After so long of missing peoples' blogs, I seem to be reading ones that were written for me. Work -- sad, scared. But you remind me there is more than that. Thank you for that, my friend.

I have every confidence that -- as you said -- things will work out in the end. It's just getting there that's a challenge! Hang in there1

Marisa A. said...

I know how you feel, only I was the one that did the leaving. I was very close with my boss in Des Moines and honestly that was one of the hardest parts of leaving; having to tell him that I was. I almost cried. Even though you won't be working together I'm sure your relationship will still be strong.

Alli said...

This absoultely positively sucks! But I'm proud of the way that you're handling it.

Lauren @ Sassy Molassy said...

Hang in there. I know things will get better, but it will take some time. It's awesome that you have such a great career mentor. Hope your week is going well otherwise.

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

Sorry to hear this :-( You have a positive outlook though, and I hope you are having a great week!

Journey Authentically said...

What a great post and wonderful reflections! Any transition is challenging and it's all the more difficult when we've been so happy and comfortable with the way things have been. I'm sorry to hear of the change in relationship with your supervisor, but perhaps this the beginning of a new opportunity? Sending lots of warmth and well wishes your way!

Kyria @ Travel Spot said...

Ug. So it's finally happened. It's hard to lose such a close friend and mentor. However, just like a breakup, the pain will fade.

I had the same problem quite a lot. The job I did moved around a lot and each time I had to prove myself to a new boss and had to learn to work with them. Just when everything was starting to go well, our company would move us again, and I would have another new person to deal with. It was hard! It's like training for a marathon; you have to build up your base miles before heading out on a long run. Good luck with your new boss and just remember, there is going to be some trail and error, but in the end, it will all work out.