Thursday, April 18, 2013

On Being Dealt Another Blow

Well, I had about a 2 day stretch of positivity - which came to a crashing halt yesterday morning at my doctor's appointment.  It turns out that the nagging foot pain I have been having for the last 1-2 months (maybe longer, I can't remember when it started as this year has been such a blur) is being caused by both a stress fracture and a torn tendon.  I am not sure when I could have sustained these injuries as I have been running such low mileage since the marathon in October.  So I am wearing a lovely, massive boot on my injured foot and can not do any cardio exercise for at least 3 weeks.  At that point I go back to the doctor for a follow-up to figure out the next steps.

To say I am upset is an understatement.  I was totally the girl that cried in the doctor's office when I was told I can not exercise right now.  I am sure some think that is an over-reaction, but with this move to Charlotte, I am in a state of mind where I am clinging to any sense of normalcy, and running was kind of the only thing I could really bring with me from my life in Minneapolis.  Well, unless you count CFA studying, which is obviously not a positive, comforting aspect of my life like running was.

I sort of want to throw up my hands and say ENOUGH.  I cried on and off most of yesterday.  Yes, I am throwing myself a pity party but dangit, I am so tired of being tested and challenged.  It feels like the last 3+ months have been a string of difficult experiences.  The hits just keep on coming and I am just fed up. I'd say things couldn't get worse, but I don't want to tempt fate because I really thought things couldn't get worse than having to move to Charlotte, but clearly I was wrong.

Hopefully after 3 weeks of rest, I will be cleared to do some cardio and my ultimate hope is to be back to running by June so I can start training for the marathon.  The doctor said that *may* be possible, but hopefully it is the case.

So yes, any sense of positivity has completely gone out the door, but for those who challenge me to keep looking for the positive, I ask that you put yourself in my shoes and honestly ask yourself if you would be maintaining a positive attitude in the midst of all that I am currently dealing with.  Yes, eventually I will need to accept all that has happened and find the silver linings, but that time is not now.  At least not for me.  


25 comments:

Becky said...

Okay so I tired to post a comment and I think blogger ate it - sorry if this is a repeat!

I don't think you should embrace the silver lining right now either (although when you're ready for it, I hope these few weeks mean more resting and reading time for you). I think as a whole our society pushes this agenda that we always have to look on the bright side because there's always some worse off than we are. That might be true, but it's okay to experience your feelings and not always be positive. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

I vote shitty mood and if anyone questions it send them my way. I'll take care of it.

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I'm with Becky- the shitty mood is fully deserved right now and I'd be happy to take care of anyone who says otherwise. Not being able to exercise is a big deal to me, and add that to what you have already been through... it just sucks. That's all I can really say!

We love you and we are here to read any complaints you want to throw our way!

Gracie said...

Oh gosh I'm sorry. I hope you heal quickly. Who knows what caused it - these injuries are so hard to pin down. Get well so you can get back out running!

missris said...

Oh Lisa that is terrible. I think you fully deserve to throw yourself a proper pity party. Seriously, sometimes you just have to embrace the suckiness.

Stephany said...

I remember how I felt when I broke my ankle and wouldn't be able to exercise for at least 2 months and it was HARD. Exercise has always been an outlet for me and the one thing I can do "right" with healthy living, ha, so it really messed things up for me.

I think you fully deserve to have a pity party because you keep getting crap thrown at you. This was a blow you did NOT need at all! I'm just sorry you have to deal with all this. It's really not fair. :(

Jeanie said...

Nope. I would be in the pits, too. And you are entitled to not look at the silver (well, maybe brass?) lining on this. It's like losing a good friend at the time you need it most. Pity Party is deserved and you are entitled to indulge awhile.

Pretty soon you'll get tired of that and realize you can't go on with it, but for now, honor your yuck.

I just can't tell you how sorry I am that this has happened at this time. I know -- no time is good -- but you have been hit from every possible direction. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to a good read or a glass of wine or whatever will be a treat. And feel free to vent here or to me. We're on your side.

Leigh said...

I am sorry to hear this Lisa! Sending you big hugs and positive thoughts that everything will start looking up soon and your foot will heal quickly

Amber said...

I can't even imagine not being able to run. I know when I was injured a few years ago it was a very tough time for me and I was still able to swim and do some cardio. Doing none would be really hard. I just hope 3 weeks off makes a big difference so even if you can't run in 3 weeks you can maybe add back in swimming or biking. Sending healing thoughts your way! I hope the tough times are behind you soon. *knock on wood*

Melissa said...

I'm just sitting here thinking to myself WHAT THE HELL???? for you. This is SO unfair! You're such a wonderful, kind hearted person and I hate seeing you go through all these tough situations. I can imagine you're not really in the mood to hear the whole 'this happens for a reason' nonsense, so I'll just say that if you do need anything, I'm here for you!

J said...

So sorry to hear about this Lisa. It does stink and its not fair. Know that we are all thinking about you and hoping you can recover quickly and get into a good grove in Charlotte.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Life is all about perspective. And I'm quite certain that this time in your life is giving you a new-found appreciation for simpler times. As you said yesterday, the Universe is sure to pay you back with something grand sometime in the future. Heart you.

Caroline said...

I'm so sorry, Lisa. Sending hugs and love your way. I think it's completely understandable to be upset and down right now, you don't have to justify it to anyone or try to find a silver lining. I feel you on not being able to run during hard times, as it's our best cooping mechanism. Just know you will get through this and be kind to yourself these next few weeks.. I don't know what else to say, we're all here for you! xo

bakinginmybathingsuit said...

This sucks.

Even though I'm a bright side person, it's ok to feel bad for yourself for a bit...just try not to dwell too long I'd hate to see your happiness be hindered long term.

Question: can you ask for an air cast or waterproof boot and get some cardio in a pool?

Hugs!

bakinginmybathingsuit said...

This sucks.

Even though I'm a bright side person, it's ok to feel bad for yourself for a bit...just try not to dwell too long I'd hate to see your happiness be hindered long term.

Question: can you ask for an air cast or waterproof boot and get some cardio in a pool?

Hugs!

Shoshanah said...

How awful! Just thinking of you, and hoping your foot heels quickly!

Abby said...

I'm sending so much love your way during this time. I am SO sorry. I know the feeling of not being able to exercise, I fractured my foot last summer and I felt like i was in prison. Especially having a job where I'm on my feet all day. It was pure hell and I cried often and missed the simplicity of being able to walk without pain. But.....time passed fast (as it does) and I heeled! And you will too. And it will make you a smarter and more careful athlete.

You are allowed to be angry and upset during this time. Let it be fuel for when you return to the roads!

Just let it heal. It's better to lay up in misery for a few weeks to allow proper heeling than to rush it and never be allowed to run the same again.

Kyria @ Travel Spot said...

Ug. I am so sorry to hear that. Don't worry about having a "pity party"; it is well deserved and we are here for you if you need us! Sometimes we all just need to let it all out from time to time!

I hope your foot heals soon. In the meantime, you will get a lot of studying done. Sorry, it's a habit to try to find a silver lining.

Journey Authentically said...

Gal, I 100% feel you right now. I'm right there with you. Be bummed--it's okay to be where you are right now too....

Carolina John said...

gaaaaa!!! This will heal up too. Hang in there.

smalltownamericana said...

That really just sucks. I remember when I had a stress fracture in my hip and I could barely even just walk for about two months, let along do any sort of physical activity (even swimming). It's not fun to let your body rest, but it's the best you can do for it. Maybe you can take your mind off all that by focusing more on getting to know your new town? Silver linings...

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

That blows!

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

:-( Hugs to you. You have good things coming your way - it's your time.

Linda said...

Hey Universe! Back off our friend, Lisa!

Hugss.

Cherry Blossoms said...

I def would be having my fair share of tears and def some drinks to help cope! Good thing you are able to experience the glory of buying wine during your Target trips!

Jess said...

I think you're entitled to a pity party.

I know Charlotte, and it's a weird place to move to. At first, it's like this alien planet where everyone loves where they live, is freakishly happy and content, in the most boring city on the planet. No museums, no nightlife, no culture.

When I first moved down there, I hated it. Hated it hardcore.

Now? I want to move back. But I do get how your feel. Being displaced is very uncomfortable.