I feel like I was among the last kids on the block to hear about Brene Brown. But luckily I have friends like Amy and Lauren who mentioned her work on their blogs which sparked my curiosity and led me to borrow her book, Daring Greatly, from the library in September. It's a great book. Those who liked Cheryl Strayed Tiny Beautiful Things or Glennon Melton's Carry On Warrior will also enjoy this book. It's all about letting down your guard and showing your vulnerability.
I borrowed this book from the library, but it's one that I'll definitely be picking up for my collection as it's the kind of book I know I would reference again. Here are a selection of passages that illustrate why I loved this book.
Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack. Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking. We spend inordinate amounts of time calculating how much we have, want, and don't have, and how much everyone else has, needs, and wants. What makes this constant assessing and comparing so self-deating is that we are often comparing our lives, our marriages, our families, and our communities to unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection, or we've holding up our reality again our own fictional account of how great someone else has it.
Yet another reminder to stop comparing our lives to others. We don't know the half of it most of the time, so comparing is such a waste of time.
I did believe that I could opt out of feeling vulnerable, so when it happened - when the phone rang with unimaginable news; or when i was scared; or when I loved so fiercely that rather than feeling gratitude and joy I could only prepare for loss - I controlled things. I managed situations and micro-managed the people around me. I performed until there was no energy left to feel. I made what was uncertain certain, no matter what the cost. I stayed so busy that the truth of my hurting and my fear could never catch up. I looked brave on the outside and felt scared on the inside.
Yep, one of my defenses against dealing with things is staying so busy and traveling that I don't have time to sit down and process things happening in my life. I pretty much have trips planned 2 weekends/month through February 2014... it's my defense against dealing with living in Charlotte, and it works for me, but eventually I am probably going to have to slow down and deal with some of the emotions I am trying to stave off by traveling so much.
"You're not a bad person. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to. Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."
This is a quote from a Harry Potter book that she shared that is so relevant to me. Sometimes I feel bad about how ragey I feel about living in Charlotte. But I need to remember that we all have some dark parts inside of us and what matters most is not acting on them. I will admit that I totally act on the ragey thoughts when driving in Charlotte as it brings out Lisa Dotzenrage, but oh well. We all have our faults.
Don't try to win over the haters; you are not the jackass whisperer.
What is the last book you read that really inspired you or made you think about your life differently?