Friday, June 29, 2018

Mind and Body: 4 Months Post-Partum

Happy Friday, everyone! Paul turns 4 months on Sunday which kind of boggles my mind. I'll be sharing a 4-month update early next week but today I thought I'd talk about how I am doing. I've seen other moms do post-partum updates so I thought I would try to write a couple during the first year. The first year of life will definitely a time of huge change for Paul, but it's also a time of change for the mom, too!

Mind:

- I was very fortunate and did not struggle with post-partum anxiety or depression. I was concerned that I might struggle with depression since I have struggled with depression in the past. I definitely felt some really strong emotions in the first weeks after Paul was born, but after that initial adjustment to the change in hormones, I started to feel more like myself, mentally.

- While I didn't struggle with anxiety, I have worried quite a bit about Paul. I think this is just part of being a mom, though. I worried the most in the first 2 months when Paul wasn't putting on weight as fast as he should. I think I worry less now that he's gaining weight steadily.

- I never really did get "bored" being home on maternity leave. The days are repetitive and it can start to feel like the movie "Ground Hog's Day," but I never really felt cooped up or bored like other moms have. I think part of that is because of all the doctor appointment Paul and I had during the first 2 months. I also think that taking the new mom class really helped, too, as that got us out of the house twice a week for 6 weeks starting when Paul was 2 weeks old.

Body:

- I've definitely really struggled with my body image since having Paul. The pregnancy weight has not come off as easily as I thought it would. I'm still carrying about 8-10 extra pounds. I think my body might be holding onto them in order to keep my breast milk supply up, though, so I'm trying not to stress about it too much until I am done pumping.

- It's been an adjustment to have a sizeable chest. Honestly, I HATE it. I much prefer being small-chested. I feel like I look so 'bulky' when I look in the mirror and I definitely have to think more about what I am wearing when I go for a fast walk or a walk with running intervals. I've been told that your chest gets smaller than it was when you got pregnant after you stop pumping/breast feeding and I am not at all sad about that!!

- Another thing I've struggled with is my complexion. It's as bad as it has ever been. I saw my dermatologist and he basically told me that I have no options until I stop breast feeding unless I want to go on a long-term amoxicillin prescription. I really don't want to go on a long-term antibiotic as it will be hard on Paul's tummy and overall I just don't like the idea of being on another prescription. So I guess I am going to sacrifice my skin quality until I'm done pumping. I am trying a Rodan and Fields line that has helped others with terrible acne and I'm hoping mine starts to improve soon. I haven't taken any photos with Paul besides our newborn photos and photos at his baptism because I HATE how I look in photos thanks to all the blemishes. :...(

- It's been great to be able to work out again, although the workouts look very different than what I did pre-pregnancy. Since I had a C-section I've been cautious as I know my body had a lot of healing to do. I've done some running intervals during stroller walks but have yet to go out for a run on my own. Besides stroller walks I have been doing the strength training workouts from the post-baby workout program I purchased. I'm starting to feel a little bored by them so might look for some more intense workouts that incorporate some bursts of cardio.

- I'm in the final month of taking daily blood thinner injections. I had to stay on blood thinner injections for 6 months since I have genetic mutation that makes me more prone to clots. I can't wait to be done with these injections. My stomach is so bruised and I have some small hematomas under my skin from injections that must have hit a blood vessel or something... My stomach looks pretty nasty.

- I'll end on a positive update - my RA is completely managed right now. This is such a relief after dealing with horrible flares during most of the pregnancy. I take an injection every other week and it's doing it's job!

So there you have it. I feel like this update wasn't the most 'positive' update, but it's true to how I am feeling. Everything I have gone through was definitely worth it and I will never forget how lucky we are to have a beautiful, healthy little boy.


12 comments:

Lori Honeycutt said...

He's so amazing!!!! You have certainly been through more than your share of challenges! Life isn't always positive and sunshine and rainbows and by being honest (in my opinion) you help other mom's who will read this and realize that no one just "pops back" to being normal. Social media is fun and entertaining but I think it has contributed to some serious misconceptions about pregnancy and postpartum life! I've watched you and other close friends deal with frightening complications and literally risk your life to have your precious kiddos, there's a LOT that goes into having a baby! I can't imagine how sore your stomach must be! I'm glad the flares are completely back under control!!! Sending hugs!!!

Gracie said...

What a relief to be done with the constant RA flares! I know that was one of the toughest part of this pregnancy for you.

Emilie said...

My chest actually got back to its normal size around 6 months pp even though I nursed until 15 months. I think once solids come into play and your body produces a little less you go back to normal a bit. I also held onto 8-10 lbs until Noah weaned! It’s frustrating for sure but those last pounds melted off almost immediately when he stopped nursing. You’re doing an amazing job feeding your boy though, so remind yourself of that daily. Our bodies are incredible!

Jeanie said...

Oh, that little yellow sleeper is so darned cute! What a great photo!

Best news here -- the RA is under control. And sort of good news is that the injections are nearing their end date. Good it is, bad it hasn't happened yet. This is a pretty good report Lisa, and I'm happy for you!

suki said...

The skin sitch sounds tough. :( But you'll get through it! I am actually talking to a friend about R+F since she's a consultant for them. And hooray for the RA being under control AND a healthy baby!

katielookingforward said...

So glad you have the RA handled right now! What a blessing!

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

I'm glad to hear your RA is under control right now, as your pregnancy definitely put you through the ringer.

Hopefully your skin clears up once you're done pumping, or that the R&F will help!

Stephany said...

I am so glad that your RA is under control now. What a miserable part of pregnancy that was for you! I'm sorry your complexion has been bothering you so much. It's really hard when you don't feel comfortable in your skin. Hang in there! <3

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

I will warn you, my boobs got even bigger. And I did a decent sized chest before. They are crazy to me hahaha.

Amber said...

Oh man I actually totally forgot about your blood thinner injection you had to keep taking. You are such a trooper and I'm so glad that will be behind you soon!! Weirdly enough my chest size hasn't really changed through pregnancy and now breastfeeding. I am still wearing all my pre-pregnancy sports bras and my nursing bras are a similar size to what I wore before. I'm not sad about that though as I also think having a larger chest would suck and have NO qualms about my smaller chest!

Sandra Bond said...

Haha, I had to laugh about the "sizable chest" comment... because I can relate. I always wanted smaller boobs and part of me is glad that I haven't had children (or I don't know what would have happened). Although my sister said that after breastfeeding, she had a smaller size...

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the mind and body