Late last month, the hosts of Best of Both Worlds discussed weekend plans on an episode. It made me think about how much my approach to weekends/what makes a good weekend has changed since becoming a parent.
Pre-kids, I had a lot of social plans but I loved nothing more than a weekend with NO PLANS. But that is because I could then fill the weekend with anything I wanted to. Plus a plan-free weekend was such a rarity so it was extra enjoyable to have free reign on filling my weekend with what I wanted to do. I also had a tendency to say yes to way too much so that is another reason that a plan-free weekend was extra appealing.
Now, as a mom of 2, my thoughts about a plan-free weekend have completely changed! A plan-free weekend can kind of fill me with a sense of, well, dread. It's sort of counterintuitive, but the less we have going on, the more exhausted we can feel by the end of the weekend. That is especially true when the weather was cold and we couldn't spend lots of time outdoor. The reason for the exhaustion is because it is very challenging to entertain 2 kids within the confines of our house - especially Will at 17 months. At this age, they get bored so quickly!
The approach to weekend planning that has worked well for us is planning a few things that will take up some chunks of time and then filling in around those activities/outings. Now that weather has warmed up (finally!) it is easier to come up with ideas of things to do/places to go, and it's also easier to fill other gaps in time. So here are the big "place holders" in our schedule that I try to build around.
- On Saturday morning, I pretty much always start my day with a run with my neighbor as long as she isn't on call. We aim to start running around 7 so I can be back and showered so Phil can go grocery shopping when Aldi opens at 9.
- On Sunday morning, I take Will to his 8:15 swimming lesson. We are usually home from this by 9:15.
So that gives us 4 blocks to fill - Saturday from 9 until lunch, Saturday from post-nap until dinner, Sunday from 9:30 until lunch, and Sunday from post-nap until dinner. Having plans for all 4 blocks would probably be a lot - I think the sweet spot it one thing/day.
This coming weekend is shaping up to be an ideal weekend. On Saturday morning, I am taking the boys to the Minnesota Zoo when I get back from my run. I got an annual membership to the zoo from my MIL for my birthday so am hoping to make the most of it by going about once a month. Then on Sunday after nap/quiet time, we are meeting up with another daycare family at a park at 3:30. Their oldest is in Paul's class and Will will join the toddler room that their youngest is in later this month. I've been pleasantly surprised to find that it's been pretty easy to make friends/parent connections with other families at daycare, especially as Paul has gotten older! I especially enjoy plans that involve another family as it gives me time to connect with another parent so "fills my cup," too.
I am most certainly the planner in my family so I do nearly all of the planning! During the activities I have planned this weekend, Phil will stay back and work on things around the house that are easier to do when the kids aren't around like yardwork.
I imagine all of this will change when our kids are in activities! We'll be busy, but have less control over our weekend so I'm enjoying having control while I do.
What does planning look like in your house? Do you like planned or unplanned weekends?
10 comments:
Woooo boy I remember those days! With teens, they just kind of do their own thing - unless we are having people over or something, my weekends are generally unplanned.
I'm with you - a weekend with no plans feels like a catastrophe waiting to happen. I also agree that one thing per day is the sweet spot.
I like to putter and have downtime and so do the kids, so it's nice to have a balance of things that are planned in our schedule with lots of flex time to be spontaneous.
I will say our kids are very "underscheduled" - most of their peers have swim meets or dance competitions on the weekend. While our choice to be very intentional/minimal on our kids activities was the right decision for our family (for now + COVID has forced our hand in many ways), it does mean that we have a lot more spare time on the weekends than most of their friends/friends familys do...which can make it complicated to plan things with others.
Hope the weekend ahead is awesome. Sounds like a perfect mix!
I can definitely relate to what you're saying here!! When our boys were little, I had many days off, with my schedule. Since I worked every other weekend, we didn't have every weekend available, but this meant I had usually at least 3 weekdays where I was alone with both boys all day. We definitely got out and about a LOT. I went to the gym most mornings, meaning they played in the gym daycare and I got an uninterrupted shower. :) Then, by mid-morning, we would usually head out somewhere - often the mall to walk around/ play in the play area, a park, our local zoo, lunch with a friend, the library, whatever. Then we would go home for lunch/ naps/ quiet time- I loved that time, to just get some things done around the house, meal plan, start dinner, etc. I remember that time very fondly! The post-nap time could sometimes be hard, as I was never really in the mood to go anywhere by then, especially in the winter. We did a lot of late afternoon walks though, I remember, around the neighborhood. Or just playing on the driveway. Or "movie time" in the winter. :) Those were fun and challenging times! You sound like you have a great balance going, and I think you'll find this summer will be awesome. It totally helps when you can do outdoor activities!!! And the boys will start to get a lot easier, very soon, and Paul is getting to a very fun age, where he'll be able to bike, etc. before too long!
This week I'm in the mountains while Kelley takes care of the kids since she's in between semesters. Having that unplanned time is absolutely fantastic.
Life with young children sounds impossible. I like it if there's one thing total on the calendar for me on any given weekend. And that's about all. But I don't have kids and if there are free hour blocks, I will be found with a book on my couch!
Well, not being a planner, my life is totally unplanned unless there is something like a doc appointment, birthday or meeting up with friends. And there's a whole lot less of that now than there was pre-Covid as I'm still being pretty cautious. I should think it would be hard with little ones! Especially when they still need to be entertained.
I have issues posting comments these days - so hopefully this goes through! This is your sister Abby :D
Sounds like a fun and busy weekend!! That's awesome you have the zoo pass. I feel your frustration of being stuck indoors - it is now the season where it is too hot to be outdoors much of the day in Tucson. I have to be very tactical about my days with Maddy because from 12-5, it's just too out to be outside for her (and me)
I struggle planning sometimes, especially when Ryan is out of town since there are days where we may not even get a chance to talk. We have started just putting everything on our google calendar so we know what's going on including timeblocking anything productive we want to accomplish!
Oof, to me your weekends sound stressful, although I can completely understand that having no plans with young kids will end up being more exhausting (just hanging out at home and entertaining) then having some structure and a few hours of the day filled with activities.
I personally get stressed out when I have more than one thing planned on the weekend - it already feels like I am overscheduled LOL (but that's partly because we don't have a large group of local friends and Covid has made plans even more rare).
I relate to this sentence so much: "A plan-free weekend can kind of fill me with a sense of, well, dread." My kiddo has always been a bundle of energy and when she was a toddler, the name of the game was What Will Wear Her Out. So we always had to have something planned -- and EARLY, too, because she would be awake and on the go by six. Trampoline parks, playgrounds, zoos, museums, swimming lessons -- we had to be go-go-going all the time or she would be stir crazy in our house. It was exhausting, but being at home and being solely responsible for keeping her occupied was WAY WORSE.
I have to say, though, that it has gotten SO MUCH better as my daughter has grown and learned to entertain herself. I am guessing that as your kiddos get older, they not only will become more independent, but they'll play more easily together.
Now, I kind of relish quiet weekends at home. But then again, if we are just lounging around the house I sometimes get antsy and want to go DO something. LOL. I am hard to please. I think the best mix is having a really busy weekend day and then a quiet one. Like, this weekend we have two commitments on Saturday and two on Sunday and that is TOO MANY. The following weekend, we have three commitments on Saturday and one on Sunday, and that sounds much better to me. (Except that the Sunday commitment is in the middle of the day -- I would rather it be early so we could have the rest of the day to relax.)
I think the planning + entertaining piece of having kids would be so stressful to me, which is why I've been happy not to have to worry about that! I love an unplanned weekend. I usually have a writing date with my friend every Saturday morning + Saturday night game night every other weekend, and then I will build in plans around those events as things come up. But having too many plans on a weekend is what fills me with dread these days. I just want to be able to take naps and read and get some computer time in!
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