Currently: May

I used to post ‘currently’ kind of posts about monthly but it turns out I haven’t done one since January 2023! It’s a good way to give a snapshot of what is going on in my life so here goes! 

Reading: Trust by Hernan Diaz. It was recommended by a colleague and was also loved by one of the co-hosts of Sarah’s Bookshelves Live (Susie) but I almost didn’t read it when I saw it won the Pulitzer. Big awards tend to be a kiss of death for me for some reason. I feel kind of, well, unintelligent admitting that but oh well. The book is broken out into 4 parts and I will say the first part had a very ‘high brow’ pretentious feel to it but then the tone really shifts with part 2. Part 1 is a fictional account of a financier’s life who is blamed/lambasted for profiting from the stock market crash of 1929; part 2 is a draft of his autobiography; part 3 is told from the POV of the ghost writer of his autobiography; and part 4 can’t be revealed or it will be a spoiler.

I also started the book below (Competing Devotions) which I heard about in the Ezra Klein podcast about working parents. It’s focused on my industry (financial services) so I was especially interested in reading it. I had to request it through an interlibrary loan which is something I have never done but was quite easy to do! It’s kind of weird to think of myself as an ‘executive’ but I guess since I am a managing director I could be considered an executive of sorts. 

Loving: that we are back to having regularly scheduled date nights! We went out on Saturday night to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary which was yesterday. We went to our favorite local restaurant (112 Eatery) and stopped by a party a friend hosted on the way home - it was a family party but we were glad to be kid-free so we could really focus on talking with others. But look at those 2 young, well-rested kids on our wedding day! 

Just married, standing in front of the church where the ceremony took place (it is an adorable French Catholic Church so perfect for a Francophile like me).

Feeling: relieved that I have about a month off from travel as my next trip isn’t until June 10th. I’ve kept my limit of 2 trips/month for the first half of the year but some of those trips were way too clumped together in April/May so I need to work on keeping them a bit more spaced out and ideally I shouldn’t travel back-to-back weeks if it can be avoided.

Anticipating: the long weekend although we don’t have much planned. Taco doesn’t have school on Friday since it’s a teacher in service day so it’s an extra long weekend for him. We will stay close to home and hopefully spend lots of time outdoors! Plus it is my MIL’s birthday so we will celebrate her over the weekend.

Struggling: with my RA right now. The stupid flare I’ve had since the beginning of April just won’t quit even though I am taking a decent amount of prednisone (20-25mg/day) and had an injection in the joint. I had changed injectable meds in February in the hopes that a different formulary might help but it hasn’t… when I last saw my doctor she said the next option would be once/month in-clinic infusions which take about 4 hours. I don’t really want to do that but I also don’t want to be in pain. To add insult to injury, on Friday I got a bill from CVS saying I owe $3,480 for my injectable meds. I thought I had resolved this with a phone call last week but I guess I didn’t? So today’s to do list includes calling to find out WTF (excuse my crassness) is going on. 

This is what a flare looks like - the impacted joint is the knuckle joint in the pointer finger of my right hand. It’s swollen and very painful. This is a problem joint that always seems to flare when my disease is not well-managed. I wish it was a less crucial finger - it makes it painful to grasp things, eat, do my hair/make-up, cut things up for meal prep, etc. It even hurts when the boys hold that hand. And shaking hands is awful, especially when the person has a very firm handshake. 

Grateful: that our summer childcare plans are so easy and straight forward. Hearing about spreadsheets to keep track of camps and such stresses me out! Paul will go to the same program that provides before/after care during the school year which he went to last summer and LOVED. It’s at his school so doesn’t feel much different from the school year in terms of pick up and drop off. The theme this summer is the Olympics!!! They have water Wednesday and field trips on Friday and just do an all-around amazing job! We will have to pack a lunch but overall it’s so easy peasy and very cost effective. Pauls last day of school is June 14th so we’ve got almost a month before he starts the summer program. 

Working: on building my mileage so I can run a 10k at some point this fall. I am only running twice/week right now and can maybe fit a 3rd run in if the stars align so I am very gradually increasing my mileage. I bumped up to 5 from 4.25 this past weekend and it went well. I almost feel silly mentioning this mileage increase considering the distances SHU and Jenny are covering! 

New shoes! Aren’t they pretty? It felt like I was running on clouds!

Thinking: about my Grandma who would have celebrated her 101st birthday this past weekend. I like to think she spent the day working on crossword puzzles and memorizing poetry with my Grandpa as those are 2 things they loved to do together!

Watching: John Mulaney’s live show on Netflix. It is very quirky but we like it! There are 6 lives shows and it takes us about 2 nights to get through one so it’s giving us plenty to watch for the time being.

Wishing: that I was sleeping better but steroids wreak havoc on my sleep so I am during the night reading almost every night due to insomnia. Bleh.

What are you anticipating, struggling with, and grateful for?

Weekend Highlights + Misinterpreted Song Lyrics

Happy belated Mother’s Day to all who celebrate. I have mixed feelings about this holiday as my heart goes out to those who have lost a mom or long to be one. It’s a fine day but not something I have any expectations around which is good because I was woken at 5:30 by Paul and the boys were crabby and fought for the first part of the day… But there was some good stuff to offset that crappy start and Phil got me some hanging baskets for our front porch plus chocolate. 

- Paul came home from school with some Mother’s Day projects. I love these fill-in-the-blank forms. He did a great job although I have not done yoga for quite some time! I think he must think I am doing yoga in the basement when I do strength training or something! I am surprised he didn’t mention reading since we go to the library nearly every weekend and read so many books together!

I like to sleep… that is the truth, kid, so don’t wake me at 5:25 am

Smart as a cat - I like it!

- Now a random story for you: on Friday night, Phil and I watched an episode of John Mulaney’s new live show on Netflix which is quirky but something we both enjoy. The musical guest on the episode was Warren G which got us on the topic of concerts Phil had seen which got us on the topic of Naughty By Nature (one of the concerts he went to) and their songs, which got us to the song OPP. I was like - so that stands for ‘open private parts’ right? Phil was like WHAT IN THE WORLD! It stands for other peoples’ property! So we had a good laugh over that. 

- I ran around our local lake on Saturday and Sunday. Here’s a pic on the far end where there is a little sailboat marina and a band shell for live performances. Living walking/running distance from this area is such a delight, especially in the summer! I’ve been pleased to see my pace dip a bit now that the weather is warming up. I am always slower in the winter when I’m contending with stability on patches of snow and ice. I’m not targeting a certain pace but it’s nice to see my pace below 10 min/mile.

- Saturday was gorgeous so we went to the zoo with the other half of the population of the twin cities. Ha. We were there from 9:30-1 which is the longest we’ve stayed at the zoo! Friends came around 11 so we overlapped with them for a bit before grabbing some lunch and heading home. As much as I like the break that Taco’s nap gives us, I also look forward to a time when we don’t have to plan around it! The boys were especially excited about the baby farm animal exhibit and Paul loved the carousel. 

Checking out a cute baby goat

- On Sunday morning after my run I went to Target ALONE which is really the best gift. Paul needed some summer clothes as 5T pjs, shorts and shirts seem to be the gap in our extensive collection of hand-me-downs. So I bought him some Cat and Jack stuff which was pretty cheap. We have lots of C&J hand-me-downs that have been worn by 3-4 kids at this point and have held up remarkably well. 

- Phil took Paul to his mom’s for the afternoon on Sunday to help with some yard work so I stayed back with Taco. We went to the park after his nap and got ice cream. He loved playing in the sand. It was a hot afternoon - in the 80s! 

Today I have a 7am flight (uuuggghhh) to Dallas where I will stay until Wednesday. I’m hoping to take an earlier flight home so I can be home to watch Taco while Paul has T-ball. Tonight is his first night so Phil will have to make do without me. After this trip I am done traveling until mid-June. Hurrah!

How was your weekend? Are there song lyrics you’ve misunderstood/misinterpreted? Another song lyric I got was from Taylor Swift’s song Blank Space - I thought she was saying ‘got a lovely Starbucks lover’ but she is actually saying ‘got a long list of ex-lovers’ which I guess makes a bit more sense… 

DITL: Shouldless Day

Hey hey! I’m coming at you fresh off the tail of a delightful shouldless day! I thought I’d do a DITL style post because how we relax and refill our cups can vastly vary from person to person. My day was basically full on introverting with the exception of a hair cut but you might fill your day getting coffee or lunches with friends or meeting up with others for a walk or glass of wine, etc. All that said, here is how it played out. 

6 am - I wake up on my own feeling rested and lay in bed for 10 minutes before starting my day! Hurray! 

6:15 - Paul is already awake so I get his breakfast (cheerios - this child is a creature of habit like his mom). I try to get Taco up and he is NOT PLEASED. This is a standard part of our day. Taco is NOT a morning person. He decides he wants dad to get him up today so I happily wash my hands of this tasks. I  make my breakfast (2 scrambled eggs + splash of egg whites made in the microwave with salsa + GF toast), Phil comes down with Taco who is magically in a good mood and not screaming! It’s a miracle!

7 am - everyone is fed, dressed and has their teeth brushed. Phil leaves for work with Taco as he will drop him at daycare on his way to his downtown office. I drive Paul to school which is less than 5 minutes away. 

7:15 am - I am back home in a quiet home! My instinct is to rush to the do the next thing because that is how I am programmed in this young kid stage of life. Every day is a productivity puzzle to solve with the solution being - how much can I get done today? So I have to tell myself - calm down, today is a gentle day so take your time and enjoy your coffee. So I sipped my coffee while doing all my NYT games (spelling bee, wordle, connections, and letter boxed) and read a few blogs. 

8:15 am - I head out for a 4 mile run around the local lake in sunshine while listening to the latest episodes of the Popcast (this podcast makes me laugh out loud which is saying a lot as LOL is not my general vibe) and Animal Spirits (finance/investing podcast hosted by 2 financial advisors - work related but a super entertaining podcast that makes me think). 

Post run with our house in the background - not the best pic but I was a little self conscious about taking a selfie in my neighborhood with people coming and going

9 am - I head out with the plan to buy new Hokas at the running store by our house but they are out of the model I run in (Machs). I decided to go to the coffee shop that is across the street since I know they have GF baked goods - except they are closed today due to construction… so I google around to try to find a coffee shop that has something I can eat and eventually I give up and go to a Caribou close to my haircut/color appointment where I know I can get a GF soufflé (yes more eggs but so it goes). My hair appointment is at 11 which is when I usually eat lunch so I need a little something to tie me over. I score a cozy leather chair, buy some Hoka Mach 6s online and read my book (Fat Talk) while sipping my vanilla latte/eating my soufflé. It’s perfection as I love the background buzz of conversations around me but am happy that I can sit silently and read.

11 am - This is the only social part of my day which is a haircut, which I would more so describe as catching up with a good friend who also happens to cut and color my hair and has for the last 15+ years. 

Fresh hair! No make up because I only wear make up if I am working. Ignore the discoloration around the hairline from the dye! Always seems to take a day for that to fully wash out!

1:15 pm - I’m home! I make a taco salad with leftovers from our Cinco de Mayo taco meal and then crawl into bed to continue reading my book. I also read some of the assigned chapters for May from my ‘Lonesome Dove’ buddy read with a Patreon group.

4 pm - Time to head to pick up Paul from school so I can get home and make dinner (chili) for Phil and I (the boys had leftover tacos). 

After dinner the fun continued with a family walk + scoot to the creek and a stop by to see the geese’s latest costumes (a fixture in our neighborhood)! Paul was not up for photos but Taco was all about it! This is the highest our creek has been in several years! The last 2 summers it has basically gone dry during the summer due to droughts. I hope the water levels stay up this year. 

It was a wonderful day and I could use like a week of these! But I’m glad I had today to spend how I pleased. With how rushed and chaotic life often feels, it’s nice to have a day that can be more slow paced and spent exactly how I’d like with no internal judgment about what I “should” be doing! 

If you had a shouldless day, how would you spend it?

May Coffee Date

It’s been a while since I’ve done a coffee date style of post, so grab your warm beverage of choice (brewed coffee with Aldi’s SF vanilla creamer or a triple venti skinny vanilla latte with no foam for me if I am splurging) and settle in…

If we were having coffee today… 

- I’d ask if you perhaps clicked over here from SHU’s newsletter which highlighted my usage of shouldless days to stay sane in this busy season of life. If you are confused about what that means, I’d refer you to this post which details a shouldless day from November! And then I’d tell you that I have one on Thursday that I am so looking forward to. I have a haircut and color scheduled but besides that I will probably go for a run, read and maybe treat myself to lunch. 

- I’d tell you how frustrated I am with my RA right now. I’d probably show you the stupid flare in the knuckle of my right pointer finger that won’t go away. And then I’d tell you how in the span of a day I was told by the pharmacy that I needed to pay $1,067 before they could fill my injection Rx but then later that day the drug company called to tell me I had exhausted my copay assistance so had an outstanding balance of $3k plus. I have yet to fully deal with this and get to the bottom of it because work has been busy and the one time I tried to fix it, I was transferred twice but had to hang up while on hold since I had a call starting at work. This is one challenge of being on weekly injections that cost about $1k week. It will all get worked out and I should not owe $3k+ but wow it is a pain dealing with all the various parties from drug companies to copay assistance to insurance companies and so on. 

- I’d tell you how happy I am to be home this week after 4 weeks straight of travel. The ping ponging from one time zone to the next really wears on me. I go to Dallas next week Mon-Wed and then I only travel once/month in June or July (I thought I might not travel in June but have a NYC trip now which shouldn’t be too bad). Travel is part of my job so I try not to complain but it does put a strain on other areas of my life. 

- I’d tell you how much I enjoyed seeing ‘A Year with Frog and Toad’ at our children’s theater on Saturday. The boys liked it, too - especially Paul. We had to skip nap to attend and wow Taco is not ready to drop his nap.

The best photo I could get of the 2 of them. The cookie story is one of my faves!

So. Tired.

- I’d tell you how happy I am that nicer weather is finally arriving! I ran in shorts and a t-shirt yesterday for the first time and the lake I run around was like glass. All the heart eyes from me! 

My favorite kind of running weather! Sunshine and no wind. This is the lake I run around.

- I’d talk to you about the hills and valleys of being a mom and how I lost my cool a few times over the past weekend which made me feel bad but also human at the same time because I don’t have a ton of what I refer to as ‘margin’ these days between work being intense, travel, RA wearing me down, sleep not being the best thanks to taking steroids day and night to control my flare (and steroids don’t help with patience either…), and the day to day stress of adulting. 

- We’d close by talking about something more fun - books! I’d share what I am reading lately and would want to hear what you’re reading or what you are looking forward to reading. 

Your turn! If we were having coffee today, what would you share? 

What We Read in April

After some lackluster months of reading, April was really great! Finally! I read 10 books but 2 were chapter books I read with Paul and 1 was a middle grade novel I read to see if it would be appropriate for Paul. I am still counting them because the read-alouds took a good number of nights to get through - probably 1 week each as we read about 1 chapter each night since the chapters were long - and the other middle grade was 300 pages or something like that, although I read it in probably 3 hours. More about those childrens'/middle grade books below, though! 

Best books:

I had far more hits than misses this month. Berry Pickers is a debut novel I learned about from Sarah’s Bookshelves Live. It’s about a Canadian Native American family that travels down to Maine each summer for berry picking season. Their daughter goes missing and the story is told in a dual narrative format. It was an excellent 5-star read. Come and Get It has very mixed reviews but it ultimately worked for me. It’s set on a college campus and it about relationships between students and teachers, power dynamics, and so much more. While You Were Out is a very sad memoir about a family’s history of mental illness. Research triggers on this if you are a sensitive reader. The River We Remember is a literary mystery about a deeply disliked man that is found dead. It manages to pull together a lot of themes like the impact of war and the poor treatment of Native Americans - but it pulls it off and the writing is beautiful. Amazing Grace Adams takes place in one day and features a post-menopausal woman at her wit’s end who is trying to get to her teen daughter with whom she has a strained relationship (for reasons that are revealed through the novel) so she can deliver a birthday cake. It sounds like an odd premise but it somehow works.

Less successful:

There were some misses. Day by Michael Cunningham is a novel that looks at a family on a single day in April in 2019, 2020, and 2021 so it’s obviously a pandemic novel. It’s another marriage in crisis type of novel and while the prose was beautiful at times, it didn't completely work for me. I felt like I was held at arm's length and didn't "feel" the pain expressed in the pages if that makes sense. Frozen River is the latest historical fiction novel about a female heroine by Ariel Lawhon. I liked it but I didn’t love it and felt like it dragged a bit. It’s about a female midwife in the 1780s. It’s Goodreads average rating is around 4.5 so I am the outlier in not loving this book (I gave it 3 stars) - but historical fiction is not my jam these days.

Exploratory reads:

Lastly, I read a middle grade novel called A Rover's Story to see if it would be something I could read to Paul. He is very into space and this novel is told from the point of a view of a Rover that goes on a mission to Mars. Ultimately I've decided to hold off on reading this as it has a heavier storyline for one of the scientists that works in rover NASA lab. It is totally appropriate for middle grade but I think 6 is too young and it might cause some stress/worry. In a couple of years when he is actually in middle grade I would totally read this with him or have him read it on his own. I can't say what it was that gave me pause because it would be a spoiler but message me if you want to know if you are considering this for your child. It is an excellent book, though! 

The boys’ books:

Paul had gotten REALLY into chapter books lately. In April we read 2 Paddington books that are part of a boxed set I received for my baby shower! He found Paddington’s antics very entertaining and he got to watch the first Paddington movie the weekend I was in ND for the funeral - it sounded like he liked it but not as much as the book (yessssss! Books for the win!!). Next he has decided he wants to try the Harry Potter books so we started the first book at the end of April. I imagine it will take us a month+ to read it. I love picture books but I really love snuggling up and digging into a chapter book! Paul can be a sensitive reader so we will see if he’s ready for the plot line of the HP books which can be intense. I haven’t read HP since my first reading of the series which I started in 2004 so it’s like I’m reading it for the first time! I have never watched the movies but maybe I will finally watch them with Paul as we finish each novel.

Taco’s tastes are really changing, too! He seems to be making the shift to picture books from board books which I AM HERE FOR!! His favorite right now is ‘The Circus Ship’ by Chris Van Dusen which he adorably pronounces ‘the shircus ship’. He is also loving the Bruce books by Ryan T. Higgins which are also a delight! He was slower to warm up to books so it makes me so happy to see his love of reading grow! 

This is my go to book for first birthdays or baby showers when you are asked to give a book instead of a card. I give picture books early because new parents tend to get a ton of board books but I want to contribute to their future library! I love reading picture books we received for the baby shower because there is often a note to "Baby Segner" (we didn't find out Paul's gender).

Did you read anything great in April?

Weekend Highlights

It was a soggy, windy weekend but we made the most of it. Here were our highlights. 

- Saturday was the last day of Target’s car seat drop off program (you drop off an old car seat - they recycle it and give you 20% off a new one. We dropped off an infant car seat and bought a harness to booster car seat for Taco. Win win.) The boys were VERY wild at the store so our visit was very brief.

- We decided to check out a new-to-us library that is across the street from Target. Our library is always super busy - this one was SO QUIET! The boys enjoyed playing with new-to-them toys. 

Taco found a Pokémon book for Paul

- Taco napped and I read/dozed a bit during his nap. Phil took Paul to his golf lessons. Is he not the cutest little golfer? Phil is an excellent golfer and has wonderful memories of golfing with his late father so I am hoping my boys take to golf so they can make those memories with their dad. I’d like to learn to golf alongside the boys but we will see if that happens. I’ve found it to be a hard sport to learn.

- After the golf lesson, Phil took both boys to the park and I worked on meal prep. What does meal prep look like this week in our house? I blitzed carrots, onion, garlic, and celery for the hidden veggie marinara I will make on Tuesday, I chopped the cauliflower and chicken (and stored separately if that isn’t obvious!) for the tikka masala recipe I made last night, I husked corn and prepped the asparagus for our Saturday night meal, and I cut up peppers for snacking. I did this while listening to a fascinating Ezra Klein show about the competing interests of work and parenting. The only way to improve that meal prep hour was if I had some wine. But alas, I didn’t because I have returned to a policy of only drinking outside the home or when hosting guests now that the wine from our last gathering is gone.

- I woke up on my own at 5:45 on Sunday and felt rested so I got up and enjoyed my breakfast (oatmeal + banana) and my coffee in a silent home. This NEVER happens so I soaked it up and worked on spelling bee, wordle, and read blogs. The boys didn’t get up until 6:45! 

- I ran 4 miles both mornings - in tights. Ugh. Spring in Minnesota sucks. 

- Paul had a pretty impromptu playdate with a friend from  school and his brother at an indoor playground that he got passes to for his birthday. It was pouring rain so the perfect afternoon activity but of course sooo busy!

Now this week I go to Napa, but don’t be jealous… I will be gone 36 hours and will spend 8 hours on a plane and 4 hours in a car. I will be in Napa itself for less than 24 hours. I get in Wednesday afternoon, moderate a panel (praying to the travel Gods that nothing goes wrong with my flight), mingle with clients, sleep, hopefully workout, mingle some more at breakfast and then drive back to SFO and fly home. It’s Phil’s busiest week of the month at work so I am trying to minimize my time away, otherwise I would have spent 2 nights in Napa and attended more of this event. But so it goes. Then I get a week off from travel before going to Dallas for 3 days. And then I might get a break until July because my June PDX trip was rebooked for November. Woot woot!

How was your weekend? 

5 Things Friday

It’s Friday! But we have a rainy weekend ahead of us which is just the worst because the best weekends are those that can be spent outside. But hopefully we get some breaks from the rain so we can be outside. Here are 5 things going on in my life.

1. I challenge you to find a picture that better represents spring in Minnesota/the Midwest. This is Taco at his soccer class at daycare on Wednesday. He’s wearing a winter hat - but backwards - and has his hands pulled up into his sleeves because it was cold that morning (even if we had sent mittens, he likely would have refused to wear them, because toddlers, but also should we need to send mittens on April 24th???). And he has the most downtrodden look on his face. Welcome to spring in Minnesota, buddy. It’s the worst. 

 

2. Speaking of activities, I love that we can send him to a soccer class during his school day. I think it’s something like $75 for 2 months of weekly classes. But having it occur during his school day is THE BEST. He also has a tennis class once/week and music every other week which is included in his tuition. I use ‘tennis’ lightly because we haven’t seen any tennis balls in the pics the daycare posts nor do we see rackets but is there anything more terrifying than a toddler with poor impulse control with a racket in his hands? Paul still has swimming which goes until early June, on Saturday he starts a 4-week golf class and in mid-May he starts twice-weekly T-Ball. Phil will take him to the majority of the golf and T-Ball activities because, well, I am not the athletic parent. But I take him to all of his swimming lessons and always have and I will be the primary parent for all things music once he starts piano lessons/band. We are taking the ‘total control’ approach to activities as Phil signed him up for golf and T-Ball, and I signed Paul up for swimming lessons. Obviously we will help the other parent out as needed but it works well (for us) for one parent to take full ownership of an activity. 

3. I traveled this week but it was an odd Thursday-Friday trip. Most of my trips are Tues-Thur or Mon-Wed. So an off rhythm trip really threw me off. All my meetings were on Thursday but I had one zoom that I had to do before 2 in-person meetings followed by a client dinner event. Luckily there were several Starbucks close to my first in-person meeting but you never know how quiet a Starbucks might be… so in the back of my mind I was stressing about how bad the background noise might be…  I wanted my new hire to do this meeting but it’s a large opportunity so the sales team wanted me to do it. So they traded a more experienced person in a potentially loud environment for a less experienced person in a quiet environment…. It was ultimately fine but they were playing Taylor Swift and I am sure there was so much background noise but so it goes. 

4. Here’s one thing that has gotten some very unexpected laughs this week: telling people that I frequently get loud environment notifications on my Apple Watch because of my loud toddler. I did not expect the kind of laughs I got when I mentioned this at the client dinner event last night. I guess I have come to think this is normal but wow did that story land. I am not the funny person in my marriage by any stretch of the imagination so getting that kind of reaction is extra satisfying. 

5. All that said I am so relieved today is Friday because this week at work absolutely wore me out between busy days and off-cycle travel days. I am hoping for a good nap from Taco tomorrow because I could really use 1-2 hours to just lay in bed and read or nap. My body is tired and this stupid flare in my hand that I have been dealing with for weeks on end will not quit which is probably akin to the engine light coming on in your car, meaning my body is saying - slow the F down/something isn’t right. I have my 1-night Napa trip next week and then blessedly I get a week off from travel and a shouldless day that week. I am living for that day right now but really I need a shouldless week which is not going to happen. 

How was your week?

A Weekend of Remembering

I’m back from my whirlwind trip back to North Dakota to celebrate the life of my grandma Janet. The last time I had been at the church where her funeral was held was her 100th birthday celebration last May.

My grandma and I at her 100th celebration! She aged so incredibly well.

Coming into the weekend, I had kind of buried my grief under all the other things bouncing around in my head in the past week, like work related talking points for meetings or thoughts about how I needed to remember to defrost the tuna steaks on Thursday night so we would have something g to eat on Friday or how I needed to sign Paul up for before/after care for the following school year on Friday morning. You know - all the many plates we are all trying to keep spinning. I drove up to the funeral by myself on Saturday because Paul was not well enough to join me (I left to him yelling for me to not leave so that was fun…) But even on the car ride up my mind was occupied by thinking about the national sales call I present on this morning or analyzing the song lyrics of the songs from Taylor Swift’s new album (which is so good).

The grief hit me when I got to the visitation that preceded the funeral. She lived a wonderfully full life and was so ready to go at the end, but a goodbye is a goodbye - even when it’s expected and prayed for. But her funeral was a beautiful celebration of her life. There was so much to say about my grandma, from her passion for the Vikings to her Wii bowling prowess in the assisted living center Wii bowling league to the fact that she emailed and used Facebook to her skills as a scrabble player (I only beat her once in my life and I think she may have let me win) to her love of the written word (she’s one of the reasons I am such an avid reader) to memories of how my grandparents would memorize poetry on road trips and recite it for family and friends. My grandparents had what I would call a 1st percentile marriage. I spent A LOT of time around them as we lived just down the road so I would often bike down to visit. In all my life, I never saw them exchange a cross word! Can you even imagine? 

The best part was seeing all my siblings and so much extended family. We got a pic of most of the grandkids and significant others that were at the funeral at the gathering afterwards. 

Wearing my usual black on black

We failed to get a picture of all of my siblings but I got one with my sisters! 

I drove back yesterday morning and was home by lunch. I wanted to linger longer at my parents but after being gone 3 nights last week, I was feeling especially bad being away from the boys, especially since both are fighting colds. Paul was feeling much better when I got back so I took him to swimming lessons and then we all went to the park after Taco’s nap. 

Post-lesson macarons

Sunday afternoon at the park

Now it’s back to another busy week at work which includes a very short visit to Cleveland. I’ll barely be there 24 hours but am fitting in 2 client meetings and a client dinner event. I have one more trip after this week and then I get a week off from travel. Thank. God. 

Checking In

When I last left off, I was heading to New Jersey for a work trip. I was supposed to fly back late Thursday night (6:45EST flight out of Newark) but the sales person I was traveling with told me I absolutely needed to change my flight and fly back mid-day on Thursday since I have things going on back home with my grandma’s passing. I felt some guilt because that meant I missed a lunch on Thursday that I was supposed to help with/speak at, but in the grand scheme of things, getting back at a decent time yesterday (mid-afternoon) was more important than meeting with another batch of financial advisors. 

My trip was overall good/fine. I felt so discombobulated since I was on vacation last week and then jumped right back into travel while working through feeling of grief over my grandma’s passing. Note to self: do not travel the week after being on vacation. I had a very tenuous grasp on what meetings we were doing while I was in NJ. I'm kind of along for the ride on these trips as the sales people are planning everything but I usually have a better idea of who we are meeting with/what the cadence of meetings will be, etc. I came into the trip really exhausted because I saw the text about my grandma passing away at 12:30 am on Sunday night and then laid awake for over 2 hours, so that did not help matters.

But the meetings went well and people were generally really engaged and asked a lot of great questions, which is what I prefer. Plus a couple of the events were "women in finance" events and it's kind of nice to be in a room with women only since that's a rarity in the finance industry. The low of the week was when I had a call with an advisor who wanted to sell one of our funds and he told me and the other female sales person: "equities are like men - they are straight forward and easy to understand. Bonds are like women - they are so confusing and have 17 different emotions and just don't make sense." It was a good thing we were on the phone and not on zoom - otherwise he may have seen smoke coming out of my ears. 

When I got back on Thursday, both boys were coming down with colds - so much for the healthy stretch we had enjoyed. My grandma's funeral is tomorrow afternoon so Paul and I will drive up tomorrow morning if he’s feeling well enough. We decided to have Taco stay behind with Phil, even before he started to come down with a cold. He gets tired so easily and getting off his schedule is tough. And I know I won't be able to be "present" at the funeral if he's there because, well, toddlers... A couple of my older nieces are wonderful with Paul and Paul is just so easy to have around. He's so excited to see his cousins, too, so hopefully his cold symptoms improve. All of us siblings will be together for the first time since January 2020 so there is a silver lining to celebrating the passing of a loved one. 

Today I have about 6 hours of meetings so it will be far from a ‘light’ Friday. But in a couple of weeks, I have a lovely shouldless day to look forward to, and it’s coming on the tails of 3 weeks straight of work travel so is so very necessary! Hat tip to myself for scheduling that. I am trying to schedule them quarterly. 

How was your week?

Weekend at home + heavy heart

Our re-entry has been great. When we pulled up to our house on Thursday night, Paul spoke for us all when he said: ‘home, sweet, home’. Traveling is wonderful but it’s a good feeling when you return and feel happy to be back. Here were some happenings from the weekend.  

- On Friday I got a steroid injections from a PA at my rheumatology clinic. I have been on 20mg of prednisone for well over a week and my flare wasn’t improving. Injections aren’t pleasant but they do the trick. It was difficult to eat or cut things up for the boys so an injection was necessary. I changed my weekly injectable meds a couple of months ago. Fingers crossed this new cocktail of drugs does the trick. But now I have a new flare in a different joint of the same finger - hopefully the oral steroids I will stay on for the next week or so will help with it… otherwise I will be back for another steroid injection.

- I went for a beautiful 4 mile run on Saturday. Spring is springing so I made sure to pay attention to the budding trees and things that are starting to bloom. I also did a CG workout on Sunday. I am almost done with her iron series which I have really enjoyed.

- Taco has been using the potty sporadically recently so we decided to focus on potty training again and he did AMAZING! He’s been pooping in the potty for the last couple of months (sorry if that’s TMI) and was finally figuring out the peeing aspect. I am so glad that we are done with pull ups during the day!! He only had one accident the whole weekend - it happened on Saturday while we were outside for a long stretch. It would have been ideal to stay close to home while training but it was too beautiful outside to stay in! 

- Phil helped a friend put their docks in and took Paul with so I was on my own with Taco on Saturday. The weather was gorgeous so we spent a ton of time outside. Who would have thought the warmest weather (mid-80s!!) of the week would be in Minnnesota! We played outside, said hi to the geese and went to the creek and park. 

The geese! No toys out yet which Taco was bummed about.

He was really representing Minnesota sports teams that day! 

- the boys and I walked/scooted up to Starbucks on Sunday am for a latte for me and cake pops for them. The weather was gorgeous again. 

- we visited another park after swimming lessons/nap time. The park was PACKED and people were not monitoring their kids so it was kind of chaotic. Real talk: it ended on a sour notes with me carrying Taco out after he threw wood chips at me… That’s toddler life for you. Impulse control is non-existent. 

Taco oddly loves to push a merry-go-round full of kids!

- Throughout the weekend I received regular updates on my grandma. She was alert and had a lot of visitors in the early part of the weekend but became unresponsive late Saturday night. She peacefully passed away last night. I take comfort in my belief that she is free from pain and reunited with the loved ones in the great beyond. 

Now today I fly to New Jersey for work and return late Thursday night although I imagine I will be flying back earlier than planned depending on the timing of her funeral. 

So I enter this week with a heavy heart because goodbyes are hard even when they are expected and you are prepared. But I am also so grateful that my grandma got to witness so much of my life - she met my husband and children and we had such a close relationship up to her death with no words unsaid. And what a gift that is. 

5 on Friday: vacation edition

We got back from Florida late last night. Here is a 5 things Friday style recap of our trip, written from the airport while we waited for our flight back last night!

1. The weather was unfortunately a bust. We knew it was a little risky to come to the panhandle area in early April but hoped it would be fine. It was cloudy, extremely windy, and on Wednesday there were tornado warnings. But we made the most of it. Of course the weather will be gorgeous after we leave, go figure!

Another ‘challenge’ of the trip was that Taco slept in a big boy bed for the first time and wow, we are NOT in a rush to move him out of his crib. We moved Paul into a big boy bed after he dropped his nap and we will do the same with Taco. It could have been worse but he was up during the night most nights and was up early a couple of days.

2. We stayed in a 3 bed/3 bath condo in Fort Walton Beach that had a pool so we alternated between the beach and the pool. The pool area was protected from the wind most days so that was nice. But the beach was the main draw for us Minnesotans so we spent a lot of time there. The beaches were pristine with sugar sand. We would love to see this coastline when there aren’t 15-30+ mph winds!!

The first morning was calm! We enjoyed breakfast on our balcony.

I went for a walk each morning. 

I love this pic of the boys walking on the path to the beach. After the first morning we learned that they need to wear swimsuits when on the beach. They both got soaked the first morning!

Checking out a pretty blue jellyfish

3. The weather was the worst on Wednesday so we went to a local science center that totally exceeded our expectations (Emerald Coast Science Center). They had so much hands on stuff to do so everyone from age 3 to 76 had a great time! Other outings included checking out a walking trail to a little bay where we saw a great blue heron and lots of turtles and walking the pier where we really got up close and personal with a heron. 

The boys enjoyed playing at the robotics stations

Paul was very excited to get close to this heron

Another heron in its natural habitat

4. We ate breakfasts and lunches in our condo and ate out most nights, except our first and last night when we got take out for dinner. The adults enjoyed lots of fish and shrimp.

5. It was a good getaway but we are definitely not in the prime stage for travel yet. The wheels really fell off on Thursday when Taco was up during the night and then woke for the day at 5:30 am. And then our 6:45 flight (which was pushed back twice in the last couple of months) got delayed until 8:30pm. Taco was in full meltdown mode and needed a rescue nap in the car, woke up and fell back asleep on me in the car while Paul played at a park.

Phil and I talked about how each year will get easier as Taco gets older. Paul was a total delight on this trip at age 6 and has been a great traveler since age 4. So a year from now, things should feel easier. But even though this isn’t an easy stage for travel, I still feel it’s worth it to go places and do things. The change of scenery is good for everyone and we enjoyed the time with my parents. 

Totally amazed by all the buttons! The pilots were so friendly.

. . . . 

Unfortunately while we were away my grandmother fell and fractured several bones including her sacrum. This fall resulted in her taking a turn for the worse and she will be entering hospice care today. It was a hard time for my parents to be away. They were on the phone quite often checking in on her, talking to doctors and nurses, and making decisions with family about next steps. Given her level of pain, we are hoping that the end comes soon for her. She has a very strong sense of faith and has been ready to meet her maker and to be reunited with my grandpa, her daughter, and other loved ones she has lost for years now. She has had a full, wonderful life and would have celebrated her 101st birthday next month.

I am extremely close with my grandma as her and my grandpa lived just down the road when I was growing up. I saw her in February when she was having a good day. Every time I saw her in the last several years, I knew it could be the last so I made sure to leave no words unsaid. She knows how much I adore her and how much I treasure all the memories I made with her and my grandpa. So I feel at peace with her passing and hope she doesn’t linger for long. 

That’s a heavy way to end a vacation post so I will close with two more pictures of the beautiful beach!