Fall has arrived here and I am not sad. Give me cool, crisp temperatures and changing leaves! I love summer, but I really, really love fall. The changing and falling leaves reminds us that there is beauty in letting go. Those are my deep thoughts for a Wednesday morning! Here's what is currently happening in my world.
Reading: Enrique's Journey which is book about a Honduran boy's harrowing journey to reach his mom in the US. I can already tell it's going to be a very heart-breaking read. I also started The Widows of Malabar Hill, which was one of the books in Modern Mrs. Darcy's 2018 summer reading guide. I usually don't read 2 books at the same time but I'm experimenting with having an ebook and physical book going at the same time. I want to see if reading a physical book (Enrique's Journey) at night makes it easier for me to fall asleep as I've been having a harder time falling asleep lately.
Loving: the stage that Paul is in. He is just so smiley and happy. He LOVES people, too. He's the baby in the stroller that will give the biggest grin to strangers. Maybe he's going to be an extrovert?
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| He loves taking selfies! This picture really shows how giant his head it. Ha! |
Feeling: spread thin. This whole working mom thing is harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I always knew it would be hard but the devil is in the details. I just didn't realize how little time I would get with Paul and for myself. I keep telling myself "this is a season" over and over and over again. Hopefully it starts to feel more manageable. I've only been back to work for 2 months so it's still a very new transition for me. I'm trying to be patient and I'm trying to grant myself lots of grace right now. I've got a 'things that have been surprising about motherhood' post brewing in my head and I'll definitely be talking about the transition back to work when I get around to writing it!
Anticipating: hosting our friend Kyria next weekend! She's coming in from the Bay area to visit us. We haven't seen her since our wedding and a lot has changed since then! I'm hoping that the fall colors are pretty while she is here. We'll go to a state park on Saturday of the weekend she is here. It won't compare to the views she's used to in the San Francisco area but Minnesota in the fall is definitely beautiful!
Grateful: for the sweet ladies who take care of Paul while I'm at work. I can just tell that they genuinely love Paul. Or I should say "Pablito" because that is his nickname at daycare. Phil called him that one day at drop off and it stuck. Now everyone at daycare calls him Pablito and that's what they put on his art projects that they send home (yes, they do art projects even with the little babies - it's always footprint-based but they are adorable!). He's always happy and smiling and you can tell he's totally loved on while we are at work which assuages some of my working-mom guilt.
Working: on incorporating more exercise into each weekday. My free time is pretty limited during the week as I get home at 5, spend time with Paul until he goes to bed at 6, and then I have until 7:30 to make/eat dinner and get things done around the house before sitting down to pump. But I'm making a conscious effort to try to go for a 30-40 minute walk 2-3 nights a week. I eat first so running is not an option as running with a full stomach is unpleasant. But walking feels good right now and I'm considering it a 'good enough' form of exercise for the time being. Some day I will be a runner again, it's just not going to happen at this stage of life.
Listening: to lots of podcasts as usual. My newest find is "Committed" which is a podcast about relationships. It features a couple who has been through something difficult. The latest episode about a woman who was hospitalized for psychosis was especially interesting.
Wishing: for a nice, long fall. I'm not ready for what comes next (snow and cold).
What are you loving, anticipating, and wishing for?
Paul is so happy! Loving - The Great American Read on PBS, Anticipating - Camping trip this weekend..
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Paul realizes who it is when he sees himself in the camera or is just mesmerized by the cute baby looking back at him! It's too precious!
ReplyDeleteGuilt is part of being a mother - never leaves! But adjusting to working full-time is not easy. I'm glad I could take my kids to work with me, although it wasn't ideal by any means!
Have fun with Kyria!
It sounds good, Lisa, but a little frantic. I can only imagine. But take a look at all that has happened and all the good. Oh, yes. I can tell -- you know all the good! Have fun with Kyria, too.
ReplyDeleteLoving September, one of my favorite months; anticipating Paris and England in October; wishing that I can get my foot in gear before our trip.
Have fun with Kyria!
ReplyDeleteI'm currently working my way through The Girl Next Door's podcast archives (I think you listen to them?) and I recently listened to an episode in which Kelsey was talking about her transitioning back to work after having her first baby and how difficult it was, and she told herself to give it six months to get through this transition. She even made a note of the date on her calendar and when that date came around, she had a little check in with herself to see how things were progressing. I don't think it was in the vein of "if I still hate everything, I'll quit," but more along the lines of "transitions are hard and we have to give ourselves time to adjust and it's amazing how we DO adjust but worrying about it at every moment isn't helpful." So, I thought I'd pass along that advice to you - maybe put a date in your calendar to check in once you've hit the six months of working motherhood mark? <3
ReplyDeleteI love that you're committing to a short walk a few times a week! It's amazing how much they help our mental health.
I remember her saying this! I think I need to make a note on my calendar too ha
DeleteThat's great that they do art projects with the babies too :-) And I love the nickname.
ReplyDeleteLoving: my class this year; they are incredible; it's like a dream, haha!
Anticipating: an early winter :-( The past few years we've had such beautiful Septembers, but this one has been quite chilly, and seems much more like October. I am thinking we're going to have an early snowfall, but hopefully I'm wrong
Wishing for: something upsets my stomach sometimes (happens randomly and has for years), but I can't figure out what it is, and I am wishing that I could
I'm so glad you are having a good experience with Paul's daycare, that makes all the difference. I'm sorry the transition back is so hard. It's so hard to know how hard it will be til you are in it. I also really struggled with working out as a working mom in that first year. Even now I have not figured out how to consistently do more than 2 days of very quick work outs. That said, we take a lot of walks too and often the boys come and now Max is a really good walker himself so the benefits have been more than I expected. I remember my parents working out when I was younger but I think I was more like elementary school age, not 1 ha.
ReplyDeleteThe picture where you said it shows how big his head is, I just adore his expression in that one! I think that one has SO MUCH PERSONALITY!
ReplyDeleteI really can't imagine how much devil there is in the details when it comes to juggling everything! There are only 24 hours in a day and it must always feel like there are just not enough hours! Hugs!!!
I am anticipating my return to work, wishing for warmer weather (though rumour has it we're in for a really nice October - well deserved after such a crappy September!) and I am loving yoga teacher training. It's very demanding and exhausting but I also am really enjoying learning more about the practice and also learning the proper alignment for each pose is really fun for me. It's also been a really nice thing to do after almost a year at home full time. I'm hoping it's somewhat helping me prepare for that tough transition back to work which I've been feeling very anxious about lately! But like you said, it's a season of life and we will all get through it! And I'm super lucky to not have to work as long of hours as you do.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how hard the working mom thing must be. I feel for you :( (how does Phil feel about it?)
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