On Turning 40

 On Saturday, I welcomed in a new decade! I vividly remember anticipating turning 30 and had a lot of big feelings about it - mostly anxiety about the fact that I wasn't married (or dating anyone) and hadn't started a family. Most of my college friends were married and had started families so I felt like the late bloomer and wondered when my biggest hopes and dreams for a companion and children would be granted. 

Luckily, my patience paid off and my prayers were answered during my 30s. I met Phil when I was 32 and we were married when I was 36 and had our babies when I was 37 and 39. I also found a job that I love when I was 34. Of course my 30s were not without their pain. I went through an unwanted relocation to Charlotte which was one of the hardest years of my life. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis months after moving to Charlotte. Phil and I both lost loved ones and dealt with a heartbreaking miscarriage in 2019. But all in all, I look back on my 30s with gratitude. I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment that your 30s are better than your 20s. It's not that life is any easier. Hard stuff continues to happen. But you are so much better-equipped to deal with those challenges because you know yourself better and have more perspective than you did at a younger age. 

Perhaps that is why turning 40 isn't filling me with anxiety. It helps that I have as many children as I wish to have and know that I won't ever have to be pregnant again! Hooray! And I have a wonderful partner by my side to help me weather whatever comes our way. It does boggle my mind that I'm 40, though. I remember my parents 40th birthday parties. There were black balloons and streamers and signs about being "over the hill." It's funny how turning 40 has changed since then. I haven't received any over the hill cards or comments and doubt I will. But with the longevity my generation will experience, God-willing, 40 is probably not the half-way point for me. And after all the heartache and loss our nation and world has experienced in the past year due to Covid, we should all feel nothing but gratitude to celebrate a birthday each year as the gift of aging is not guaranteed! 

For my 30th birthday, I went to Paris for a week - by myself - and had the most amazing vacation. This milestone birthday looked very different thanks to Covid and having a 2-month old. But it was still very special! Here is how I celebrated the day!

I came down on Saturday morning to my gift from Phil - a signed photograph of my "dad crush" - John Dickerson! I am a huge fan of him so Phil worked with his cousin's wife, who works at CBS News, to get a signed photo. He didn't have any headshots so an assistant took this photo especially for me! In the background are the beautiful flowers from my parents and a co-worker.

While Phil went grocery shopping and ran errands, we facetimed with my parents and then I played several games of Hi Ho Cherry-O and the Hungry Caterpillar game with Paul. I absolutely love playing games so am glad he's at the game-playing stage. I bounced Will in the bouncer while we played games and was glad he stayed content long enough to do this!

Will gave me lots of smiles throughout the day, too! He's a fun stage where he smiles and coos and is more interactive. 

Throughout the day, I receive 3 deliveries of macarons - one from my college friends, another from our realtor who is a good friend, and a box from my mom that she made! I have been enjoying them over the past several days and it turns out that Picky Paul is a big fan of the ones from Nana! 

I had a video chat with 3 girlfriends I met through Phil. I think our high was -1 so while it would have been great to see them in person, it was nice to catch up from our cozy homes. 

For dinner, we ordered Indian and I enjoyed some Prosecco after Paul was in bed while holding Will. I snapped a photo of him when we went to bed. I was definitely feeling very grateful to have a little baby to tuck into bed. Newborns are not without their challenges but I know how lucky we are to have 2 healthy little boys. 

I'm hopeful that by August when Phil turns 40, we'll be able to safely have a backyard gathering with friends, But despite not being able to do something "big" for this birthday, I had an amazing day and felt so loved as I received many phone calls, texts and facebook notes. 

I'm looking forward to the decade ahead and can't wait to see what it holds for my sweet family of 4!