Monday, August 12, 2013

My Trip Home

Well, I am back from a trip home that was supposed to be 6 days, but was stretched out to 10 day due to the passing of my aunt.  I have so much to say about my trip home, but so little time as I am actually leaving for New Mexico today for a work trip.  I get back late Wednesday and my best friend arrives on Thursday after work for a girls weekend (which I need and am so looking forward to).  So my posting will be sporadic for the next couple of weeks as I just feel SO behind in every aspect of life.

I can't do a true recap as it would turn into a small novel, so here is a bullet point list of my thoughts on being home, most of which I could expand into a full post...

- I could tell you about the great visit I had with my aunt the first Friday I was home and how good I felt she was doing (well, good for being on hospice)...  Which resulted in me being in a state of disbelief when she passed away the following day.

- I could tell you how bummed I was when I had to cancel my trip to Boston so I could attend my aunt's prayer service and funeral, but that I know I made the right decision to extend my stay so I could be there, as the prayer service and funeral gave me more of a sense of closure.

- I could tell you how great it was to be surrounded by co-workers who know me well when I found out I passed the CFA exam as they were all SO excited for me, but that it hasn't quite sunk in that that horrible exam is behind me for good.

- I could tell you how blown away I was by all the emails, phone calls, text messages, Facebook comments, and tweets I received, congratulating me on passing the exam.

- I could tell you how great it was to see my family - especially my niece and nephews.  I recieved a lot of hugs and my heart melted when my nephew/godson opened his birthday gift from me and told me the best gift was having me home.

- I could tell you about a conversation with Phil that gave us both a bit more closure and opened the door for some semblance of a friendship.  We have never been on bad terms, we just weren't in contact.

- I could tell you about a really bad day at work last Wednesday that left me questioning whether I can really last a year in Charlotte.  Many have said "you can do anything for a year," and I agree with that to some extent, but if I have many more days like the day I had last Wednesday, I honestly don't know if I can do this - live in Charlotte and work in this environment - for a year.

- I could tell you it was really hard to return to Charlotte on Saturday.  I didn't cry when my parents dropped me off because I think my body was physically unable to produce anymore tears, but I was very sad to leave the Midwest.  

The last week and a half have been an emotional roller coaster for me, and I am pretty exhausted. I am glad I have some things to look forward to, like my friend Heidi's visit and my trip to NYC later this month, though.  These planned things to look forward to are going to be my saving grace right now.

Since I'm in NM most of this week and will then be busy hosting Heidi, I won't be blogging this week, but I do have a great guest post from Stephany later this week!

I had to do the dreaded "mark all as read" in Feedly as I know I won't have time to read all the blog posts I missed when I was gone for 10 days, so please fill me in on what's going on in your life these days!

22 comments:

Sue @ SimonsSistaSaw said...

I'm sorry to hear about your aunt but I'm glad you got to see her one more time and to be there with your family for her services. Massive congratulations on the CFA - such great news. Best of luck being back in Charlotte (that maybe doesn't sound sincere but when we know you don't like it there, saying enjoy seems futile).

Becky said...

This week is crazy, but hopefully Heidi's trip will be rejuvenating for you! Again, so sorry about your aunt but I'm glad you were able to be with your family then! (And what your nephew said? OMG the sweetness!)

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I seriously just teared up that your nephew said the best present was having you home... that is the cutest thing EVER and just totally gave me the motivation I need to go work on my classroom today so that all my sweet future kiddos will have a good beginning of kindergarten. Best. Exit, Emo-Kelly.

Now enter another Kelly: WHAT?! You cannot do ANYTHING for a year. Maybe a minute or a second, but not a year! I can think of a LOT of things I CAN NOT do for a year. I am a happy person, so I have little tolerance for spending a long period of time doing something that does not make me even slightly happy. It's one thing if I have to sacrifice one part of happiness for another part, but there is no happiness there... other than things you have created for yourself to get yourself through... which to me is just not enough. Of course, I'll support you whatever you decide to do... stay or leave :)

missris said...

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. You've certainly had a rough year, and you really deserve a lucky break already. I'm crossing my fingers that things get better, this is the last of the bad news, and that you have a happy, stress-free couple of weeks headed your way!

Marlys said...

It was great to have you back for 10 days, even though it was filled with lots of sadness in the passing of Betty, who was such a beautiful person! We all learned something from her while she was alive, but most important she taught us how to live life even while dying. I hope you don't have many "Wednesdays" like last week, or I should say I hope you have zero days like that! Have a good trip to New Mexico and lots of fun this coming weekend!

Lindsey Dunmyre said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt passing, but I'm so glad you were able to be home for the service! I'm sure she was glad to have the final day with you there.

Redhead Running said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your aunt, but how wonderful you got to spend one last beautiful day with her. I know it was probably really hard but at the same time it must make your heart feel better to have been there for all of it and to have seen her one last time. My Uncle passed away earlier this year and I wished I had, had one last visit with him.

CONGRATS on passing the exam!!! I'm so happy you had a few moments of happiness come from all the sadness of the trip.

Jeanie said...

You told us a lot that you would tell us! Just know that you have support and love during really challenging time. This is a beautiful post in so many ways. And probably a hard one to write.

You take care and have a good trip. You know my life -- won't pack it here. But part of it is thinking and worrying about you!

Nora said...

I haven't blogged in ages so you aren't missing anything in my neck of the woods, blog wise. Life has been insanely busy at work, lots of friend stuff going on (babies happening, birthday parties for kids, anniversary parties), getting back into exercising (AGAIN) and reconnecting with D. Travel safely! Will be thinking of you. xo

Carolina John said...

I"m still riding high from your passing the CFA exam. Very cool! So sorry about your aunt though. That's not easy to deal with; we lost one of Kelley's aunts late last year to leukemia.

Be safe on this round of trips!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

The longer you live away from the upper Midwest, the more opportunities you're given to realize that home is where your family is. Home is being able to see your aunt the day before she passes away. Home is being able to attend her funeral. Home is hanging out with your nephews (and niece!). Each passing event, you are given an opportunity to understand what it's like to live so far from the people you love the most. I can see why it gets harder in some ways to live so far from home. Do what you've got to do, girl. You deserve to be happy.

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

Sorry about your aunt :-(

Hmmm, what's been going on in my life ... went on a trip to Vegas, and shot guns, ate at Ramsay's restaurant and did some other cool stuff there :-)

Amber said...

I'm glad you got to see and spend time with your family but I'm sorry it was around such sad circumstances. Hope your upcoming girls weekends breathe some life back into you again and leave you feeling rejuvenated!

Elizabeth said...

I'm so sorry to read of the passing of your aunt and the cancellation of your Boston plans. It sounds like there were a mix of clouds and silver linings during this trip home. Glad that you had the opportunity to be surrounded by and to surround your family...and also to hear of the conversation with Phil. I hope that days like last Wednesday are far and few between. Enjoy NM--I always love it's amazing beauty!

Abby said...

You had a very emotional week back home! My thoughts and prayers are with you, because all that emotion plus your traveling for work adds up to one exhausted woman!

I'm glad you got to see Betty one last time. It was really hard to be away through all of this. Betty was such an amazing person -- who's love and character just shined and will continue to.

That will be nice to have a girls weekend with Heidi!

Stephany said...

I am so sorry about the passing of your aunt. I'm glad you were able to be with family during this time, though.

And, like Kelly, totally teared up about what your nephew said about having you home being his best present. I mean, really. Is there anything better than that?!

I don't know what happened on Wednesday but I have been there during tough days at work where you don't know how much longer you can take it. It's in those moments we realize that we need a change and start figuring out how to get that. I'm not sure what it means for you, but you're in my thoughts and prayers all the time, friend. Nobody deserves to be miserable!

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

((())) So much emotion. That could probably sum up this year for you. You should look for a job in Detroit. ;) Or umm even in my town but I don't think it is bigenough for you ha.

Tammy Roney said...

I am a nurse and have seen many times how somebody "waits" for a loved one to show up and visit them before they pass. Maybe your aunt was waiting to see you? I am glad you got to see her. And congrats on passing the CFA! My sis lives in ABQ. Have fun!

Kyria @ Travel Spot said...

I am sorry that your Aunt passed, but am glad that you were able to see her again and to be there for your family in such a time of need. I think they sometimes wait to pass; I know it sounds weird, but my uncle did the exact same thing; he made sure we all had a chance to visit before he finally gave up.

I hope you have a great weekend this weekend and can have some much needed girl time, and it will give you a great chance to show off the good things about Charlotte to someone else, which may give you a different view as well!

Lauren @ Sassy Molassy said...

it's nice that you got to see your aunt one last time. letting go of people is not easy and i know i definitely need those opportunities (prayer service, memorial, etc). I love what your nephew said about having you home. So sweet. And it's nice that you and Phil were able to chat a bit and have some more closure.

Raquelita said...

I'm so sorry about your loss, Lisa, but I am glad that you got to see your aunt again and that you could be with your family during a time that could not have been easy.

I have had to do mark all as read if I want to maintain any sort of sanity and start reading blogs again at all. I hope you had a great trip to NM and that you are continuing to walk on cloud 9 post-CFA!

Caroline said...

So sorry about your aunt! But I think you made the right decision to stay and spend some extra time with your family. I really admire how you've handled everything 2013 has thrown your way, I'm not sure I could "survive anything for a year". Thinking of you and hope you had a good weekend.