In February, I'd like to work on being less distracted and more present in my relationship. I don't want us to get into the habit of sitting side-by-side on the couch, staring at our computer screens. So here are some goals I am setting for the month.
1. One meal at the dining room table each week. I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but most of our meals are eaten on the couch while we watch the news or a show on netflix. Part of this is because we are often heating up leftovers or doing our own things for dinner so it doesn't always make sense to sit at the dining room table. But when we eat on the couch, we aren't facing each other, nor are we all that focused on talking to each other. So once a week I would like to make a point to eat dinner at the dining room table. Ideally I'd like to have 2 meals/week at the dining room table, but I'm starting with baby steps!
2. No screen time after 8 pm. I'm terrible about being on my phone or laptop right up until the point that we go to bed. Phil is far less reliant on his phone (which is typical for men, I think) so he checks it far less often than I do and rarely texts or emails people. I'm the opposite as I will have long back and forth text message or whatsapp conversations with friends, and I will scroll through facebook at times. I deleted the Facebook ap off my phone this week, though, so that will help. But in February, I will put my phone out of sight at 8 pm and leave it alone until we go to bed around 10.
3. Relax more. On the weekends, Phil is often asking me to please relax. For example, he will often make brunch for us on Saturdays but while he's making brunch, I'm in the kitchen doing meal prep or dishes. He will tell me repeatedly to please go sit down on the couch and relax and he will bring me brunch but I usually power through what I am doing. I know I need to find ways to relax more, and when he's making me a meal, I should relax and enjoy it. Phil usually goes to his mom's for the whole day on Sunday so my goal is to try to do more of my meal planning on Sundays when he's gone so that I can relax more with him on Saturdays. That doesn't mean I will spend the entire day on the couch next to him. But I recognize that I need to work on taking more time to relax and spend some quiet time with him.
It helps that we have a long weekend getaway to look forward to next week as that getaway will be all about relaxing and enjoying time together doing things we love to do. We've also agreed that we won't discuss the wedding at all as we both need a break (especially me!) from thinking and talking about wedding plans!
Is there a goal or intention you plan to focus on in February? Are you the 'busier' person in your relationship? Do you have a hard time relaxing like I do?