Happy Friday and happy almost end of the first half of the year! I had a really great trip to the DC area for work this week. We did 10 meetings in 2 days which is quite a lot. I haven't mentioned this but my little sister and her family are moving to the DC area (in the coming days!!) and this trip made me extra excited that she is moving here because a) there is so much to do and b) it's only a 2-hour flight from Minneapolis!
Here are 5 things on my mind this week:
1. Let’s start with that, ‘wow the year is going so fast’ cliche convo that we all tend to have. Phil absolutely loathes those kind of conversations because he is extremely practical and will challenge comments about time going faster because the passage of time does not change. And yet our perception of how fast time goes does seem to change as we get older. Remember how loooonnnnggggg it took for Christmas to arrive when you were a kid, if you celebrated that holiday? Now Christmas comes far too fast and I’d like December to have 6 weeks (but then I want Feb or Mar to have 2 fewer weeks because I hate the final months of winter).
2. Since it’s mid-year, many of us assess how the first half of the year went which might involve looking back at goals. I had honestly forgotten what I decided to do about goals (I had set 2 quarterly goals for Q1 and then never looked at them again. Whoops.) This is not surprising because I have a tenuous relationship with goals. I feel like I don’t necessarily need them because I achieve a lot without detailed goals and will be hard on myself if I don’t achieve what I set out to do. I look at what I’ve done in the first half of the year and it’s a lot - some of it was planned, much of it wasn’t. 10 business trips, 1 family vacation, 200 client meetings, I made some big decisions about how to better manage my RA, we established a quarterly date night routine, we potty trained our toddler, we ordered a big boy mattress for him so we can start that next big transition, and on and on and on. I do see how goals are so very motivating for others but I might be team ‘no goals’ for life? I am required to set them for work so I comply but otherwise I am tempted to take the counter-cultural approach of avoiding them. SHU, can we still be friends?!? All that said, I really do enjoy reading about the progress others have made towards their goals!
3. I wish I had good news about my flare subsiding but I don’t. It is just as bad as it was before and is especially painful in the am when I have gone almost 24 hours without prednisone. So I will not be tapering off that bastard of a drug anytime soon. Sigh. This time I contacted my doctor through my chart right away when 5 days had passed with no improvement. She was quick to respond and said it’s time for an MRI because the flare should respond to everything we have thrown at it. Luckily I was able to get my MRI scheduled for this coming Tuesday. I really hope there is a clear path forward but I might need to see an ortho and she mentioned a possible biopsy and GAH! Why is this all so hard? 6 months ago, you might not have even known I had RA and now a week can’t seem to pass without some sort of reference to this stupid disease. And to be honest, one of the worst parts of being on prednisone (besides the sleep issues and irritability) is that I have put on weight and I feel like I look a little bit puffy. I know body image is a challenging topic to address but I can’t pretend this hasn’t made this whole situation worse.
4. I also get my 2nd infusion this coming Monday. I think this is the last 2-hour infusion and then they will speed it up to an hour if I continue to tolerate it well. I must say the set up in the infusion center is quite nice. I sit in a comfy recliner and there is a lap shelf thing they can lower so I can work on my laptop. The chair also has a massage feature so it’s not the worst 2 hours. Last time I worked with my feet up at a very minor recline while getting a chair massage. The kind nurses also brought me a warm blanket since I am always cold, especially in air conditioned buildings. If I ever had a desire for a side hustle I might create something similar for tired moms - come sit in our comfy, massaging chairs, take a load off for a bit, and feel free to doze off. We can even pretend it’s a medically-necessary appointment to assuage any guilt about taking time for yourself.
5. Next week is the 4th of July which my brain thinks of as the mid-point of summer since I was on a mid-August to Friday-before Memorial Day schedule when I was in school. But it is decidedly NOT the mid-point of summer as an adult with a child who has only been out of school for 2 weeks. It’s the beginning. Which is good because it feels like summer weather has finally arrived what with all the rain we have had. Our family will be going to my parents for the 4th of July weekend which I am so looking forward to. Only one other sibling will be there but I will see a bunch of extended family and Phil can actually come with us for a change. He is busiest in the first 4 biz days of the month but will cram 4 days of work into 3 days so he can come to the lake with us. We haven’t been up there since February so are very overdue. The boys love sand and water so it’s the best place to be with them on a hot summer day. A change of scenery is a thing of wonder when you have small children and it’s extra wonderful when that change of scenery is the house of grandparents on a lake who are happy to help out as much as they can.
How was your week? Did you set any goals for 2024?
12 comments:
I am just heartbroken about the state of your flare. It must be endlessly frustrating to treat it (with painful injections and awful steroids) and not see any relief. I very much hope the MRI gives some concrete answers as to why this particular flare/joint combo has been so terrible and hasn't responded to treatment. You're in my thoughts a lot about this.
I also hope your time at the lake is restorative and the weather is perfect - warm and sunny, but not too hot. Somehow I can't believe it's almost July 4th (not a big date for us Canadians, but it always feels momentous nonetheless since it's such a big deal in the States).
Hugs, my friend <3
Lisa, I am so sad that your injection didn't work the way we had all hoped. How defeating that must feel. Gosh I hope you can get some relief and soon. This is just awful for you.
And I did mention on my blog - intellectually we can accept changes in our bodies, like hey, this is happening and there is a reason for it, but emotionally it's harder. Especially if our bodies are uncomfortable or our clothes aren't fitting. I'm sorry you're feeling low with the body image and I totally understand. I think you're very beautiful inside and out and the prednisone doesn't change that, but I also know how hard it can be. I see you! And I hope this is just a blip in time and when you look back (you're right, Phil's wrong, yes time is the same but also perception changes that) it will just be a tiny blip on the radar. I really hope they figure things out, but it sounds like your doctor is being very proactive.
Enjoy your time at the lake! A change of scenery is wonderful with small children.
I have a "mid year" post planned for next week, and I seriously was thinking "Wait- did I set any goals this year?" I couldn't remember. Then I remembered that I started off with monthly goals, which I forgot about by March. Oops.
SO sorry that your flare is still so bad! That is frustrating, and I mean you're trying everything. I'm not sure what the MRI will show, but I hope something helps soon.
Yes, it's crazy how out of sync we all are with our summer/school schedules. Elisabeth just posted that their school JUST ended- we're just finishing our fourth week of summer vacation. Crazy!
I hope you have a great weekend.
I'm totally team "no goals" too! I accomplish so much and am very internally motivated. I felt very seen by your thoughts on goals thank you! And I also love reading about others progress on goals ...hmmm what's up with that? I'm so so sorry about your RA flares. They sound so painful and not being able to get relief despite so much Prednisone and all those side effects....ugh endlessly frustrating! My heart goes out to you! I'm so glad you have lake and family time to look forward to for the 4th. I'm doing the same thing (in CA) and cannot wait. Will be thinking of you and hoping the MRI provides some helpful answers. You got this!!
Haha we can definitely still be friends :) Different approaches work for different people (and at different times, too) and that's okay!!!!!
Did I set any goals... I sure did. Some have fallen by the wayside: exercise. Others are pretty consistent: dates, reading, blogging, community... Camping was one of my goals for, like, ever, so I can check that off finally ;) I really feel the passing of time. Every since I started planning by season/month (thanks, SHU) I feel like I am so much more aware of time passing- and it's a good thing.
I'm so sorry about the flare and lack of relief. I hope you'll be able to enjoy your lake getaway for the holiday. And maybe some rest?!
It's insane how fast time goes by. There have been a few times in my adult life when time has slowed down to "kid" speed, and it's so nice when it happens, especially since these tend to be times of happiness. The last time that was the lockdown. It was an intensely happy time of being home with the fam and the days went by deliciously slowly. I can't explain it but I will take the slow and happy times when they come.
I'm with you on goals. I took a shot at it earlier this year with a digital planner and everything...and then we got a puppy. Like you say, you don't have any shortage of achievements to look back on for the past six months. Team No Goals!!!
I like the idea of the "Tired Mom Infusion Center" - let's normalize taking 2 hour breaks during a weekday! The world would be a better place if this was an option.
Hugs on the flare (( ))
I think it's absolutely fine to not set goals! I think this is a very "bloglandia" thing anyway, lol. I don't feel like my IRL friends without blogs are big goal-setters in their personal lives. At least writing them down? They just accomplish things, lol. You are doing a LOT already.
I'm sorry to hear the injection didn't take, ugh. I hope the MRI gives you some answers as to why this flare isn't subsiding. It must be so frustrating!
I hope the MRI helps you get some answers as to why the flare has been so bad and is not being relieved by the cortisone. That must be so frustrating and painful.
I did not set any goals this year. I just have my 101 things list and my word for the year. I have things on my to-do list that I work through, but I have no actual goals.
Enjoy your long weekend away. Sounds like great fun!
I'm laughing at Phil's stance about the passage of time. I sort of admit that I'm team Phil here, BUT I do recognize that some times are busy and then days tend to fly by.
I'm so sorry about the flare up. This sounds so baffling and frustrating. I was on prednisone in the past for asthma stuff and WOW the sleep issues are mind blowing. Part of me was like WOW, LOOK AT EVERYTHING I'M GETTING DONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Otherwise it was stinky and weight gain because of a medicine is annoying. I'm dealing with that with the antidepressant they put me on to cope with my SIBO. Ugh.
The 4th of July at your parents' house sounds amazing. I hope the weather cooperates and you enjoy the extra help.
Oh, and goals? Hmm, I'm not a fan of goal setting. I make lists of the things I want to get done and then I cross them off my list when they happen. I'm pretty focused on managing all the things and I guess I tend to be pleased on accomplishing the small things on my list. I have set a goal to write approx 3 hours a day over the summer. It's not easily attainable but when I get a few hours in at the computer, I feel like I'm on the right path.
Regarding goals, I liked what Stephany had to say about it, that it's a very bloglandia thing to do. I don't have a real way to verify whether a lot of people outside of blogs do a lot of goal setting and tracking, but I do know that it makes good blog fodder for a lot of us, so if we're looking for something to write about, it can be handy to say, "oh, here's what I spent last month", or "here's where I am on my monthly/quarterly/annual goals". I'm not a huge goal setter myself, but I do enjoy reading about what others write.
I'm sorry the infusion hasn't tackled your flare as you had hoped. You've been at this RA game for awhile, so you know that it often takes awhile for results to appear. I really hope that this next infusion makes a big improvement. And I feel you on the prednisone. I was on it for awhile during my first RA flare (which lasted several months and sucked), and I did NOT like it. Except that it helped with the pain and inflammation, of course I liked that part quite a bit.
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