Monday, December 31, 2018

2018 Review - Part 4

And just like that, it's the last day of 2018! This year really flew by. It was a really good year, but also a really hard year. There was a lot of change and adjustment and not as much sleep as I would like/need. But we made it through and the joyful moments definitely outweighed the difficult ones!

Here's my final install of the 20 questions!

16. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Slept and exercised more. But these were both out of my control.

17. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Gone to fewer doctor appointments! Oh man, we saw so many specialists between Paul and me: OB, rheumatologist, endocrinologist, perinatalogist, hematologist, ENT, pediatric urologist, lactation consultants, speech pathologist, and pediatric OT. It's almost laughable to look at this list of specialists. 

18. Compared to this time last year, how are you different?

I'm not carrying a baby! Now I care for a baby, which is such an all-consuming but amazing thing to do. 

I do feel like I've lost part of my identity in becoming a mom, but I know that's natural. I haven't exercised, aside from going for walks. I don't have the energy or desire to go on dates or plan trips. I kind of miss the Lisa that wanted to do alllll the things. Right now I'm just way too tired to do much outside of work and caring for Paul. I'm hoping that starts to slowly change in 2019 as I'd like to be better about making time for things like exercise and quality time with Phil. Being done pumping is really going to help in regard to exercising more, though!

19. Compared to this time last year, how are you the same?

At my core, I'm still the same person. I still have the same wants and needs, they just aren't as high of a priority these days as they used to be. But that will shift as Paul sleeps better and I adjust to being a working mom. One thing that stayed the same is that I still made time for reading! 

20. What's a life lesson you learned this year?

That there is always going to be something to worry about when you are a parent. When I was pregnant I told a friend (who is a psychologist) that I couldn't wait to have the baby so I could stop worrying so much (my active RA and blood clot really amped up my anxiety about the health of the baby). She said that she hated to break it to me, but the worrying doesn't ever end - you just have to find a way to manage it. She was so right. What I worry about related to Paul changes from month to month. Phil, on the other hand, does not really worry like I do and he's been a good influence on me. He's the one telling me, "Paul is fine, don't worry so much." And so far, he's been right. 

Happy New Year, everyone!


Charbelle said...

Hugs!!! It will not be long before you are doing all the things again! All the things will change from year to year with Paul but you will always have them! I'm glad that you and Phil are such a great balance of each other!!! Here's to a wonderful 2019!

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said...

I find that men (at least the ones I know) find it way easier to be in the moment than women (or at least the ones I know). I'm always worrying about/thinking about/planning/ the future, replaying conversations/awkward moments etc. from the past, overthinking, questioning things that don't matter, and so on ... yet Christopher finds it so easy to be in the moment, and focus on one thing at a time. I try to work on being more like him in that regard, because I think it is healthier, more mindful, and would reduce my stress and anxiety. I know as a parent I would worry myself sick. I often lay awake worrying about my mom, my nieces/nephews, my students, and so on, and I know it's neither productive nor healthy. Ahh, something to work on in 2019 I suppose ...

Stephany said...

2018 was a major year for you! I'm glad you're giving yourself some grace in adjusting to new motherhood and the toll that's taken on you and your goals. It's not an easy thing to suddenly have this little person that depends on you for EVERYTHING and needs constant care. It's the best thing, but not the easy thing (or so I've heard, haha). I hope 2019 is a beautiful year for you, Lisa, and I've enjoyed following along on your journey throughout 2018. Cheers!

Jeanie said...

As you've written these, I've found myself answering some of the questions myself. Very different from yours, of course! But a good exercise!

I've loved following this along, as well as your year in photos and joy. Wishing you a wonderful New Years with much to anticipate in 2019!

Gracie said...

That's good you and Phil balance out a little on the worry, although I think mothers do tend to worry more than most fathers. I hope 2019 brings fewer things to worry about and more time for you as Paul matures!

Marlys said...

I'm glad you have continued with your blog, as it gives me a chance to keep up with you and baby Paul! It is fun and interesting to read all about your activities, thoughts and seeing pictures of Paul!
As he grows, he will become more independent, so time for yourself will improve - slowly, of course!
And I agree, 10 months have really flown by!

Amber said...

It's so true, we continue to worry a lot when they are on the outside... just in different ways! I am sure that only continues as they get older and are out of our sight and control more and more as well.

Your mom made a good point in her comment... you also kept up your blog! Which is not easy while parenting, I know that first hand. 2019 will be a great year for you and you are already rocking it by getting back into your workouts!

San said...

Lots have changed for you in 2018. I can imagine that going from newly married to becoming parents is a huge change... I am glad you're still finding time to blog and share your new life with us :)