My 2022 Word: Connection

Oh hey, it's the 2nd week of February and here I am posting about my word for 2022! I knew this was my word early on in January but it's taken awhile for me to organize my thoughts about this word/how I want to live it out in 2022.

I've been thinking about connection for the last couple of months. This line of thinking was sparked by my decision to go off social media in early December. I've taken several breaks in the past. I gave up social media for Lent for the last several years and took November 2020 off because even seeing posts from those with similar political views were stressing me out! But I've always come back after those sabbaticals. This time around, my break is indefinite and possibly permanent. Time will tell. 

So what prompted this change? I started to think about how engaging on social media truly made me feel. Prior to giving it up, I limited myself to 20 minutes/day between Facebook and Instagram. 20 minutes/day doesn't seem like that much time in the grand scheme of things - but that adds up to about 10 hours over the course of the month. So I asked myself if those ~10 hours were fulfilling and net positive for my mental health. The answer was - not really. I love seeing pictures of friends and family but I was glancing at/liking those photos and occasionally commenting but I wasn't engaging with friends in a meaningful way most of the time. I would have had to allow myself more time on social media/day to comment/respond to comments but that can quickly get out of hand.

Additionally, I have become increasingly disappointed in the actions of Facebook/Instagram, especially as it relates to the spread of disinformation. But in particular, the impact of social media on young people is particularly concerning. We watched the documentary, Social Dilemma, which looks at how problematic social media is but especially focuses on the impact on the mental health of children/young adults. I am so so glad that I did not have social media as a tween/teen/young adult. Figuring out how to handle it for our children is going to be very challenging. Luckily we have time to figure this out, though, since our kids are young. But I didn't feel great using a platform that I am disappointed in, so that was another reason to take a break. 

So back to my word of the year - connection. I knew that being off social media would require me to be more intentional about connecting with family and friends. I can no longer quickly glance at a profile to see what is happening in others' lives. So each month, one of the boxes in my monthly overview focuses on connections and who I intend to connect with that month. February connections are with far-away friends - who I all met through blogging, by the way - so they are all via zoom/FaceTime. I've also planned an in-person coffee date for tomorrow with a blog reader that lives in my neighborhood (hi, Anne!). As the weather warms here, more connections will hopefully shift to in-person walks/coffees/etc.

Planned January connections are in the lower right box - I've added to this list since taking the photo, though.

Another thing I want to be mindful of is ensuring there is a 2-way street when it comes to connecting. I really thought about that when I came across this quote in The Comfort Book:

"It's okay to let people find you. You don't have to spread yourself so thin you become invisible. You don't have to always be the person reaching out. You can sometimes allow yourself to be reached. As the great writer Anne Lamott puts it: Lighthouses don't go running all over an island for boats to save; they just stand there shining."

I don't want this to come off as me methodically tracking who reaches out to me or who initiates contact. But I don't want to always be the one reaching out/trying to make plans. I'm naturally good at this so it can be easy to just take that on. I recognize that people go through seasons of life where they are less likely/able to reach out - and I felt that way for much of last year. But I just want to make sure I'm investing time in relationships where I feel the effort reciprocated. 

I'm sure I will report back on how my focus on connection is playing out! I'm also making sure I apply this focus to my relationships with Phil and the boys. With Phil, I want to try to bring back our old habit of playing games together which fell off after we got married/started a family. And I'd like to do some afternoon "dates" with Paul, too. Will gets plenty of focus from me already since he requires so much attention and care (and nurses)! I'm excited to see how I feel at the end of the year and whether I feel pulled back to social media. But I've been off for 2 months now and the longer I am away, the less I miss it.

Did you pick a word of the year?