Giving Thanks

'Tis the season for giving thanks, at least here in the US since Thanksgiving is later this week. Thanksgiving is hands down my favorite holiday. I love all the food and I love that it's all about getting together and eating good food - and that's it! No presents! No decorations (at least not in our case - we are such minimalists and only decorate for Christmas). And this year, we will get to celebrate with my family for the first time in 2 years. I'll get to see my parents, 7 of my 8 nieces and nephews, and 3 of my 4 siblings! It's rare for so many of us to be together so I am really looking forward to it! 

But I have to also admit that being thankful is not coming super easy right now. This stage of life is just really HARD right now. Little kids take a lot of time and energy, and so much of it falls on the mom. So if I am being honest - which I always strive to do in life and on this blog - I'm feeling pretty depleted. Kind of like the sad little Christmas tree on Charlie Brown Christmas if you need a visual. Will's recovery from his ear infection has been rough and his sleep has been pretty awful. On Sunday night I didn't quite get 5 hours of sleep - I need 7 or 7.5 so I was on the struggle bus on Monday. 

And yet - I know I'm incredibly lucky to be in the position to have child that is waking during the night and only wants his mom. Is it hard in the moment? Absolutely. Parenthood is a constant lesson that two conflicting things can both be true. You can be exhausted and grateful at the same time, although the strength of the opposing emotions really ebbs and flows. 

You know what helps spur feelings of gratitude, besides the upcoming holiday? Looking at family pictures. We recently had family photos taken for the first time since April 2019! That obviously pre-dates Will as it was around Paul's first birthday. I didn't feel comfortable having newborn photos taken last December and technically having a photographer in our home would have broken the lockdown rules - which I clearly followed. But I knew I wanted professional family photos done this fall as we only had 2 photos of the 4 of us and both were, well, not great. 

So on a cold morning in October, my cousin's talented wife took our photos by our favorite area of the creek by our house. Getting to the meeting spot at 8:30 on a Saturday morning when it was 40 degrees outside was NOT FUN. Phil said he would never look at family photos the same again because he now understands what it takes to get a family together, looking nice, and smiling for the camera. 

We had to cut our photo session short because the outfits I had for the boys were not great for 40 degree temps. Our kids don't own "cute" outer wear because it seems unnecessary. But in a span of 30 minutes, she managed to capture our family pretty darn perfectly. 

So yes, there are incredibly trying moments and times when I feel so. dang. tired. 

But I can look at these photos and think - "gosh, we're beautiful and so very lucky to have each other." 

So yes, in this season of life, I might need to remind myself to be thankful. And that's ok. I tell myself it won't always be this tiring. But in the mean time, I'm glad I have photographic evidence of how very lucky we are. 

Happy early Thanksgiving to those who will celebrate this week! Tell me one (or more!) thing you are grateful for! In addition to my family, I'm thankful for coffee, my health, sunshine, living in a walkable neighborhood, the library, my kindle, being able to run again, and many other things!

Giving Thanks

2020 has been A TRYING YEAR. And while we shouldn't need a national holiday to remind us to give thanks, it is convenient that Thanksgiving comes around once a year and pushes us to think about what we are thankful for. The year has presented a lot of challenges for our family and the broader world, but when I stop and think about it, I can still come up with a long list of things I am thankful for. So here are some of the things/people I am thankful for in no particular order!

I'm thankful...

- we are in a larger home than we were last year. We moved out of a 1,300 sq ft home and into a 2,400 sq ft home the weekend before Thanksgiving last year. We knew we wanted to have a 2nd child so that was the main reason for moving (our last home had 2 bedrooms plus an office). But I sure am glad we have more space since I've been working from home since March 12th and likely will through much of 2021! Phil WFH about 2 days/week but it's still nice that he has space to do so. We would have been very cramped in our old house, especially when Paul is home with us - which has been a lot. He's missed over 12 weeks of daycare (that we still paid for of course - ouch!). Only 2 weeks were due to his classroom being closed. The other 10 weeks were times we pulled him out to lower our risk of getting covid, with the exception of the 1 week we kept him out for a visit to my parents lake home. 

- that I have a healthy marriage. Phil and I have spent more time together this year than ever before since we've worked from home a lot and have not had the busy social calendars we had in the past. I will be honest and say that it's been challenging at times, especially during those 7 weeks in March/April when we had Paul out of daycare and were not seeing anyone - and I was dealing with first trimester exhaustion. Most friends that I've had candid/real conversations with have said this year has definitely put stress on their marriage but I'm glad we've been able to weather it. 

- for Paul. He reminds us what is most important and keeps the mood light when things can feel heavy. He loves to make people laugh so he is the best mood lifter! He's a healthy, thriving, bright little guy and I can't imagine our lives without him.

Icing his 'owie' (he didn't have one). He knows all about ice packs since most days I have one on a joint.

It's nearly impossible to not smile when you are around Paul!

  

- that we are adding a 2nd boy to our family! This pregnancy has been HARD but I don't take for granted how lucky we are to be able to grow our family. I just can't wait for him to be here! I'll take major abdominal surgery/recovery and the challenges of a newborn over being pregnant!

- that we've all stayed healthy and covid-free despite Paul going to daycare. His daycare has done an excellent job. They did close his room for 2 weeks when a classmate tested positive, but no one else got covid - thank goodness! We've been very careful about keeping our risk of getting covid as low as possible, which has resulted in some sacrifices, like not seeing family, only seeing friends outdoors, not going to restaurants, etc. But the sacrifices are all worth it.

- that there is a covid vaccine on the horizon! Huge shout-out to all the scientists who have worked tirelessly to deliver a vaccine in record time. 

- for my extended family. I miss my grandma, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews so much. I look forward to a time when we can all safely gather. Not everyone has the kind of family dynamic where they miss time together so I know I am lucky to have healthy relationships with my family!

- that Biden won the election. Enough said, right? 

- that my boss/team has been really understanding during this final stage of pregnancy and have cut me some major slack!

- for my wide group of friends. I'm glad I was able to fit in lots of walks and outdoor visits before the cold weather arrived. I can't imagine my life without my circle of friends.

- for all of you out there who are reading this blog, especially the faithful commenters! There are times when I question whether I should keep blogging or not but I love engaging with all of you!

Your turn! What are some things you are most grateful for this year? 

Thankful Part 3

It's the last installment of my "thankful" series! It's been fun to reflect on all the good things in life over the last several weeks and I am sure I will do more reflecting as we gather with our family this week!

21. The best thing I tasted yesterday was the Thai chicken salad I had for lunch. There is an awesome salad place in my building that makes the most delicious salads. They are not cheap but it's a lot of work to chop all those ingredients! I've given myself a pass on bringing lunches to work over the last 4 weeks as life has been crazy with all the house stuff. After this week I want to get back to bringing lunch 4 times/week. But sometimes you have to cut yourself some slack!

22. I love going online to connect with friends. I have met so many wonderful people through blogging. I can't imagine my life without them. I wish I was able to see them in person but I still feel very connected to them even though we don't see each other in person.

23. I'm grateful for the way these things feel: my heated blanket, the new cozy comforter I bought for our bed, holding Paul's warm hand in mine, and big hugs from Phil.

24. Yesterday I felt supported (by a person, the Universe, God) when Phil fixed our shower head. It's a little thing, but it's really nice to have someone to fix things when they go wrong. Phil has done a lot of that between buying and selling a home and I'm very grateful for him. I'm also grateful that he does all the snow removal as we are in the midst of our first real winter storm!

25. When I look around my home, I'm grateful for everything! I truly love our new home and I think we will be here for the long haul. The floor plan is so perfect for us and I just love all the character that our home has, like the window seat between the kitchen and dining room.

26. When I look around at the world, I'm grateful for so many things. My health and the health of my family members, good health insurance and kind doctors, our beautiful home, our ability to put food on our table and give Paul everything he needs, and our supportive family. This is a time of year when I am especially cognizant of how very, very lucky we are. There are so many who don't have a home or can't afford groceries or have strained family relationships, or all of the above!

27. I love that I have the ability to daydream about future vacations. Travel is such a luxury. We don't travel as much as we used to but I'm glad we can take one family trip/year and that my parents are willing and excited to join us as we love having their company!

28. I love it when I see animals when we are out on our family walks. Paul gets so excited when he sees dogs - he yells "doggie!" and says "bow wow wow." He gets excited when he sees any animal so I'm always hoping we'll see ducks on the creek. He loves to watch them! Last week we watched 3 male ducks protecting a mama duck while she took a bath in the creek.

29. The nicest thing I have felt on my skin today was my Aveda hand cream. Dry skin season has started so I am constantly putting lotion on my hands!

30. I'm grateful that I'm learning to trust God's plan and timing. This is something I am still learning. I reflect a lot on Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I spent many years metaphorically shaking my fist at God and asking why it was taking so long for my prayers to be answered. I got married and started a family so much later than most of my friends but I can't imagine a different life than the one I have! Of course it's easier to accept God's plan when some of your prayers have been answered. My heart goes out to those yearning for a partner and children. I, too, yearn for another child but I am trying to trust that our prayer for a 2nd child will be answered in 2020.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I'm thankful that you stop by here to read and comment! I'd love to hear what you are most thankful for this year!

Thankful Part 2

I'm back with part 2 of my "Thankful" posts!

11. The best song I heard yesterday was Most of All by Brandi Carlile. I don't listen to music much anymore since I am so obsessed with podcasts, but I usually put on Brandi Carlile on my drive home from daycare with Paul. He seems like music more than podcasts. ;)  I get to see Brandi in concert in February and I CAN'T WAIT! I think it will be my 5th time seeing her? I will never tire of seeing her live as she's so incredibly talented.

12. When I look inside my closet, I'm grateful that it's full of clothes that look good on my body type. It took me until my 30s to figure out how to dress my body. I need to further pare down my closet after this next move, though, as there are summer items that I never wore this past year so those need to go.

13.  I'm lucky that I'm smart enough to figure out when to take a step back from social media. I took a break from Instagram at the beginning of November as I recognized that it wasn't having a positive influence on my mental health. I love social media but there are seasons of life when you need to take a little break.

14. In this moment, the things I love most about my friends are that I have friends across many stages of life. I'm glad I have friends with similarly-aged kids as it's nice to be in the trenches together. But it's also nice to have friends with older-aged kids so I can see how life changes as your kids age! I'm also grateful for my friends without kids because they usually are happy to come to you for get togethers so you don't have to get a babysitter!

15. I'm grateful that my hands can hold my sweet baby boy. Oh, he's not really a baby anymore but I still call him my baby. I know he won't always want to sit in my lap, hug me or give me open-mouthed kisses so I am soaking them up!!

16. The prettiest thing I saw yesterday was some outdoor Christmas lights! Ok, it's a little early for Christmas decor (we decorate the weekend after Thanksgiving) but on cold, dark nights, I really like seeing outdoor Christmas lights. They are just so cheery and bright!

17.  When I look in the mirror, I'm grateful for a body that I truly love. I am far from perfect and I have my problem areas like every other person. But all in all, I'm happy with what I see and I'm grateful my body has done things like run marathons and bring a child into the world!

18. Three of my most prized possessions are my beautiful piano, my engagement/wedding rings, and our wedding album.

I'm glad our piano will be more prominently displayed in the new house. It was tucked away in the office in our current house and was kind of 'out of sight, out of mind.' I think it will get played more often now that it's in our living room area.

19. I'm grateful that my eyes let me see the beauty in every season.There are 4 distinct seasons here and some of them are not my favorite - like winter and early spring when everything is brown and wet. But every season has it's beauty if you look for it. Like right now all the leaves have fallen so the trees are bare, but I love seeing the leaves fall. It shows you that there is beauty in letting go of things.

20. The things I would never change about myself include my type-A plannerific nature, my math abilities, my goal-oriented nature, and my loyalty to the people I love.

Your turn - pick some of these questions to answer!

Grateful

It's Thanksgiving tomorrow so I'd be remiss not to reflect on the many things in my life that I am grateful for. I love this time of year because it reminds us to be thankful. We shouldn't need a holiday to remind us to give thanks for the blessings in our life, but the reality is that we are all human and sometimes, we need a reminder in the form of a holiday!

So, here's what I'm thankful for this year!

1. Paul - Of course, I have to start with this little nugget of joy. Becoming a mom has been the best experience. Yes it's been trying at times and I'm super exhausted but it's all worth it.

A couple people have said Paul looks like me in this photo!

Mmm, pickles! He takes after me and loves pickles.

I am so in love with the latest batch of photos from our wedding photographer

2. A strong partner - It's been so fun to watch Phil become a dad. He had never held a baby before Paul was born but you'd never know from watching him. The work of mom and dad is never divided 50/50 but he helps out as much as he can. He's definitely Paul's favorite!

Paul loves rough-housing with daddy!

3. Our other baby - I can't leave our other/first baby, Oscar, off this list. She gets less attention since Paul came on the scene but has adapted pretty well. Paul loves her so much! She's been letting him get closer to her lately - hopefully they will be best friends some day!

4. Supportive family  - We are lucky to have supportive parents and siblings that offer advice or "I've been there!" comments. And his grandparents can't get enough photos of him! I send photos to my mom and MIL all the time and they seem to love getting them!

5. Friendships - Admittedly I haven't been able to devote as much time to friendships as I have in the past, but I'm still grateful for the good friends in our lives, both near and far. I know they understand that we are in a season of life where it's hard to get together with others. It helps that Phil's friends have similar-aged kids so we see them more often since they are on a similar schedule (i.e. they are all about afternoon/early evening get togethers that end at 6:30!) Because of this group of friends, Paul already has some buddies, like Gus. I can't wait to watch them grow up together!

How does this thing work? 

6. My health and good drugs - 2018 was a volatile year for me between the blood clot in January, my RA acting up so much during the pregnancy and having an unexpected C-section. But I'm thankful for my kind and competent team of doctors. And I'm thankful for the cocktail of drugs I take to keep my RA symptoms mostly at bay.

7. My job and my company's generous PTO policy - Coming back to work has been so hard - harder than I ever imagined it would be. But I know that continuing to work is the right decision in the long run so I am fighting through this difficult and lengthy period of adjustment. It helps that I came back to a job I like and a team that love. I'm also lucky that my company had a generous maternity leave (at least compared to other US companies - not compared to other countries unfortunately) and PTO policy. Taking every other Friday off to get extra time with Paul has really helped! I don't think we'll be taking any big vacation in 2019 so I will continue to use my PTO to get extra time with Paul.

8. Paul is cleared for tubes - We had Paul's ENT follow-up last week and as I suspected, he had another nasty ear infection so they decided to proceed with putting in tubes. He has surgery next Tuesday. It's not ideal for him to have surgery but I'll take that over repetitive ear infections and terrible sleep!

9. Daycare providers who love Paul - It's not easy to be away from Paul for 10 hours each day, but it helps to know that he's being taken care of by women who seem to genuinely love Paul. He's always happy when we pick him up and he doesn't cry when Phil drops him off. Each week they have a curriculum so parents can see what skills they are working on. I'm not sure how much Paul gets out of the curriculum at this age but eventually it will be more relevant.

Paul's first class photo. He clearly loves the camera!!! Some of the other kids look less thrilled. ;) 

10. All of you! - Some days I wonder if I should keep blogging but then I read comments from all of you or get an email from someone who reads my blog and I'm reminded that the community and friendships I've built make blogging worthwhile!

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the U.S. If you live in the US, what are you doing to celebrate? We are going to Phil's mom's for the day. I'll miss seeing my family but it will be nice to not travel! What are you thankful for?

Thankful

'Tis the season to reflect on all we have to be thankful for. This should be a daily exercise for us, but I'm glad that a holiday comes around once a year that reminds us to reflect on the many blessings in our life. I usually do a 10-day series of Thanksgiving posts but this year I decided to do one post instead! Here are some of the many things I am thankful for.

1. This Guy

Phil keeps me on my toes and prevents me from taking things too seriously. We celebrated 6 months of marriage this past weekend, which kind of blows my mind! Our first year of marriage is going to fly by!

2. Our Growing Baby

My baby bump at 24 weeks

While I don't love being pregnant due to how hard it makes it to manage my RA (I had to go off my most effective $1,000/week injection), I feel so grateful that we were able to conceive so easily and quickly and that the baby's development has been healthy and normal.

3. Our Sweet Kitty

Yes, she prefers Phil by a landslide, but it makes me appreciate the moments when she will cuddle with me even more. I never thought I'd be a cat lady but Phil has certainly made me one. I can't imagine our house without our furry little friend!

4. My Supportive Family

My beautiful nieces and nephews!

My siblings and their spouses

My dear mom, who is looking at my dad with such adoration and love

My dad during his very funny and sweet speech at our wedding. Phil is a lot like him - they have a strong sense of humor, hate attention, and have the softest hearts.

I don't know what I'd do without the love and support of my family!

5. The Amazing Wedding We Pulled Off

Our wedding was all I had dreamed of and more. I'm especially proud of the fact that I DIY'd so much of it - with the help of family and friends. Of course the most amazing part was marrying this guy!

This is one of my favorite photos from the day. You can see how happy I am wrapped in the arms of Phil!

6. The Travel Adventures We've Had

From hiking in Southern California...

to skipping rocks on the beaches of San Diego...

to hiking in Maui...

to hiking in Northern Minnesota...

to hiking in Western North Carolina!

We packed a lot of adventures into the past year! I guess you can tell how much we love hiking since we tend to hike on every trip we take!

7. Friends

URL  turned IRL friends

College friends

I'm lucky to have so many wonderful, supportive friends who have been there for me through good and bad!

8. A Warm House and a Fridge Full of Food

Through my involvement on my company's United Way Campaign committee, I've become even more aware of how many people are struggling in my community - 25% of the people in the broader Twins Cities area live in poverty. That is such a sad statistic. I thought about how very fortunate I am when I was loading up my grocery cart with food for Thanksgiving weekend. We have a warm house and never have to worry about how we will pay the heating or electricity bills.

What are you thankful for? To all my American readers, have a very happy Thanksgiving!

10 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 10 - YOU

Today I am thankful for you! 

I'll be forever grateful that blogging has allowed me to connect with people that have similar interests, hobbies, and ways of thinking, regardless of where we are geographically located. When I started this blog back in 2008, I had no idea how much it would enrich my life.  I can't imagine my life without all of you! Thanks to this blog, I have an incredible support system that is far-reaching, I've developed friendships that I know will be life-long, and I've explored regions of the U.S. and Canada that I wouldn't have otherwise.

So thank you, dear reader, where ever you are as you read this final entry of my Thanksgiving post series. And for my American friends, have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

I fly to Spain the day after Thanksgiving so the lights of this space will be off until I return. I'll see you all on the other side of my next adventure!

10 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 9 - Family

Today I am thankful for my family. 

As I've gotten older, I've realized that it's not a given that family relationships will stay intact. I've heard stories of families that have drifted apart or have been divided by arguments. This realization makes me even more thankful that my family has remained close. Granted, I don't see my family as often as I'd like as we are spread out across the U.S. and have such busy schedule. But that just makes me appreciate the time we spend together even more.

Playing rummy at the lake!

My younger sister and me (some people think we look like twins!)

At the lake with Evie and Charlie

My adorable parents, who will celebrate 47 years of marriage next month!

My handsome nephew, Matthew, and me.

I am also thankful that I have a large extended family that has remained quite close. Things like Facebook and Instagram have allowed me to stay in touch with family members that live far away. But I'm glad that our annual Julia Child event brings some of my mom's side of the family together!  We had about 30 people in attendance this year!

What are you thankful for today?