Guest Post: On Living Alone

Greetings and happy almost-Friday!  I'm got back from New Mexico last night. Err, actually this a.m as my flight was delayed due to weather so I landed around 1:45 am... To say I am exhausted and behind on life is an understatement...  but luckily Stephany from Stephany Writes is here with a guest post about an adventure she'll be embarking on in the future - living alone.  As someone who has lived alone for 9+ years, I can understand her apprehension but am excited for this next phase of her life.  I hope she ends up loving living alone as much as I do!

There are a lot of things I wished for myself when I was younger and I can't say I ever imagined the trajectory my life has taken over the past few years. I never imagined I would go to school for journalism and wind up in an analytical, marketing position. I never imagined I would continue to struggle with my weight and that I would sever my relationship with my father. Mostly, though, I never imagined I would be 25 and still living with my mother. 

There are many, many ways that I do feel like an adult - grown-up job, my own bills, my own car, etc. But then there's telling people that yes, I do live with my mom and it feels like I've stunted myself.

I love living with my mom. It's been me + her for the past 8 years so we understand one another's quirks and idiosyncrasies. She's my best friend so we get along, have the same interests, and generally enjoy each other's company. I lived at home when I went to college which helped me save money and pay for expenses any scholarships or loans didn't pay for. And then when I graduated from college and accepted my current position, it was just never something I wanted to do. I enjoyed living with my mom and if I did move out, I would have to get a roommate or two so it made more sense to me to just continue living with her and helping out with the bills.

A lot of people don't understand why someone in their mid-twenties would still want to live with their parent. We don't have the typical mother-daughter relationship. She's more like my best friend and my sister than a parent to me. Don't get my wrong - she's my mother first and she'll always be the one to tell me when I need an attitude check, but we are super close so when people remark how they would never, ever want to live with their parents, it just makes me grateful to have a relationship with my mom where living with her is a blessing, not a curse.

All this said, yes, I do plan on moving out soon. There are a lot of logistics involved since I can't leave when I want to, as my name is on our apartment lease and I wouldn't saddle her with the extra expenses of a two-bedroom apartment with no help from me. 

I can't deny it's a little scary, thinking of moving out and living on my own. Everything would be on my own shoulders for the first time and all the expenses would be mine alone. I would be the one setting up the electric and the cable and the Internet. I would be the one calling the maintenance department if something breaks. And I know I would get lonely, especially at the beginning as I adjust to being on my own.

But then I think about all the great things that come with living by myself. I've had so many people tell me how much they wish they could have experienced living alone when they were younger, or how awesome living alone was/is. I get to decorate my new place to my liking. I get to be alone if I want to be alone, social when I want to be social. I get a place that is mine alone, where I can engage in fun quirky "secret single behavior." And I get to feel that sense of independence and rightness that comes with moving out and being responsible for maintaining my own apartment. 

The truth is, it excites me more than it scares me. And it scared me for a long time. I felt like I was missing this inherent independent trait that everyone else around me had, and that I was destined to be that kid who never moved out of her parent's house. It wasn't about checking off a "rite of passage" at a certain moment that society deems the right time, but it was about taking my time and doing it when it felt right and good for me. 

Moral of the story here is that we have our own stories to tell. There is no reason for you to do something if you don't feel ready for it yet. Right now, you are building up to getting there. Your timeline is yours alone and nobody can tell you when the right moment is. All you can do is trust the process, be true to yourself, and ask for help if you need it.

So while it may have taken me longer than most to get to a point where I am comfortable with the idea of living on my own, I'm here. I'm ready. It's happening.

Do you or have you lived alone?  If so, did you like it or did you find it challenging?  Like I said, I have lived alone for over 9 years, and as an introvert who needs her quiet time, I actually really enjoy it.

Guest Post - Bookmarked with Joanne DeMaio

Greetings and Happy Wednesday, everyone!  Today I have a guest post from author, Joanne DeMaio.  Her book, "Whole Latte Life" was released this past March and today she is sharing a short passage from the book as well as her reflections on that passage.

***** 

We all have favorite passages we enjoy as readers when we’re immersed in a novel.  I actually keep a book journal in which I write certain details about books that move me, and I enjoy thumbing through that journal, re-reading favorite passages.

But as a writer, I also have favorite passages I’ve written for the page.  They might be lines that evoke a certain mood, or a reflection of my own heart, or a turn of a phrase that inspires a sweet memory.  So from my novel Whole Latte Life, I’ve Bookmarked certain passages that are favorites of mine, as the writer.  I’d like to share one of those here with you.

What fills their quiet are the birds singing, a boat engine idling.  It would be nice to catch it, she thinks, to reach to the sky and snatch some of that summer sound and put it in a flowered box and when you need it, you open the lid and a robin’s call rises.  Sometimes you’ll hear the boat far off idling, waiting for you to board on a crystal lake framed by tall green pines.  And she thinks the sound of a horse nickering would be in that box as well.
Bookmarked, P. 143 Whole Latte Life

This particular passage evokes memories of summers I’ve spent at a cherished beach along the Connecticut shoreline.  Often during the evening hours, a lone robin might trill until the sun sets, and it is the only sound within a summer stillness.  It is the type of sound I can always recall in a quiet moment, a memory that transports me to a serene place, literally and figuratively.  That place, a little notch in the coast along Long Island Sound, is also framed by tall green pines, and so I brought that visual from my life into the passage.  To me, that is some of the beauty of writing, to be able to preserve in a story, or on the page, places and memories that will always be special.

Thanks for visiting with me today.  Wishing you all a summer filled with peaceful sounds and memories.

~Joanne

*****

 

This passage definitely resonates with me as so many of my childhood summer memories involve time spent near the lake waters of Minnesota.  The sounds I'd like to capture are the waves hitting the shore, the hauntingly beautiful sound a loon makes, and gentle sound of boats trolling on the water.

What are some of the sounds of summer you'd like to capture? 

Yoo hoo, over here! & Weekend Recap

Greetings and Happy Monday!  Are you curious about what I do for a living?  Do you wonder what I mean when I say I work on a bloomberg terminal all day long?

Then hop over to Amber's blog!  She does bi-weekly career feature posts, and today she is featuring me!

I had a wonderful weekend.  As much as I love going to my parents' cabin, I also love weekend at home.  Especially now that I live in a neighborhood I love!  Here are some highlights from my weekend, bullet point style!

• Meeting a dear friend's 2-week-old baby girl and getting lots of baby holding time. 
• Running 8 miles with my running group - not my best 8 miler as I was a bit dehydrated, but it was still good to get a training run in.
• Hitting up a Borders going-out-of-business sale.  Did I need to buy 4 books?  No, not really.  But it's tough to resist deeply discounted books - and I had a gift card I needed to use up!
• Having a Saturday evening to myself.  It included biking to church, reading on a bench in a park, grocery shopping, and grilling a yummy, healthy meal.  And going to bed at 9:30!  On a Saturday!  Woo hip, this girl is exciting!
• Sleeping for 10 hours on Saturday night.  Feel a bit guilty about this, but I have been getting about 7 hours of sleep/night for weeks so I NEEDED those 10 hours of peaceful sleep.  I did NOT need the bad dream that left me feeling unsettled.  That's a topic for another post, though.
• On Sunday morning, I went to 4 stores in 90 minutes.  3 of which were furniture/home decor stores.  Ahhh!  I do not enjoy furniture shopping.  Or shopping at all, really.  Just ask my mom.  And the search for furniture continues...  I have a couch from ikea picked out, it's just taking FOREVER for them to replenish their inventory at my store and it's not orderable...
• Meeting up with a blogger friend (Crystal) who recently moved to St. Paul!  We met at my place, walked across the Stone Arch Bridge, and got coffee/tea at one of my favorite cafes along the river.  So fun to meet another blogger.  :)

What were the highlights of your weekend?

It's a Small World & a Guest Post

It has been over a month since I last ran with the local running club. My Wednesday just filled up over the last month, but I was finally able to do another run with the group last night.

Here's a couple of random things that happened in bullet point form:

• At the beginning of the 6 mile training run, I met a girl who is running the Twin Cities Marathon and then the following week she is going out to Portland to cheer on a friend that is running the Portland Marathon! How random is that? So she said she will definitely cheer us girls on! Yea! I've rounded up a spectator!
• A couple of miles back, I decided to hang back with the 9-9:30 pace group as I knew the 8-8:30 pace wasn't sustainable for 6 miles. I ended up running with a guy that is a law clerk and works with one of my good friend's husbands! Again, how random is that! Minneapolis is a big city - what are the chances I meet someone that works with my friend's husband?
• I got back to my condo and was getting a mail and ran into another resident. He looked at me and said, "How was the pool water?" (there is a pool in my condo association). I had to awkwardly say, "um, I haven't been swimming. I just got back from a 6 mile run...." What can I say - it was a hot/humid 6 mile run and I swear, ever since I trained for my first marathon in 2006, I sweat way more and way more easily (probably TMI, I know). My friend that is a nurse said this is a good thing and it means my body is more efficient. I'm not such a fan of it... but I feel less bad about occasionally drinking pickle juice since I am losing a lot of sodium! Or at least that is what I tell myself.

If you want to hear me talk about something besides running and perspiration, head over to Becky's Blog! I'm guest posting about believing in love today!