Monday, April 5, 2010

Starting a New Chapter

"There are chapters in every life which are seldom read and certainly not aloud."
~ Carol Shields, Pulitzer Prize-winning author

Greeting readers. After a two week reprieve from blogging, I am ready to return to the interwebs.

That quote above perfectly sums up how I have felt about the last couple of weeks of my life. It's been a tough two weeks (and will probably continue to be tough for an undefined amount of time).

Truth be told, it's been a tough five to six months. When I started my new job back in October, I slowly morphed from this calm, confident woman to a woman that was virtually unrecognizable. No matter how much I tried, I simply could not find my way back to my old self.

I tried, and I tried, and I tried to succeed in this job, working as many as 80+ hours in a week. Sleeping 3-4 hours a night, due to a combination of working so many hours and being awakened by bad dreams. Or I would awake in the middle of the night, start thinking about a model I was working on and how I could revamp it, and I could not return to sleep.

I was miserable. Simply miserable.

Life is too short to be so miserable. To worry so much about work. To be treated like I was by some of the managers.

A comment made by Nilsa of SoMi Speaks on this post really struck me:

In a lot of ways, jobs are like relationships. Something attracted each of you to each other... and you have to figure out if going through rough patches are worth it in the long run.

I determined that this rough patch I was going through had no end in sight - at least not in the foreseeable future. We simply were not compatible - nor would we ever be.

So I made the decision to leave that company.

Once my background check goes through, I will be returning to my former employer.

Over the last 2 weeks, I have learned about humility. And frugality. And the unconditional love of family and friends. I am blessed with so many cheerleaders - family and friends who have believed in me when I couldn't and didn't believe in myself.

I'm focusing on this quote that one of my best friends sent to me (she finds the best quotes, most inspirational quotes).

It sure feels good to be back, dear readers!


Charbelle said...

Such wonderful wonderful quotes!! Welcome back!! A job is a relationship and I will tell you what I told one of my best friends when she called off her wedding. I respect you and admire you and it takes SO MUCH courage to stand up for yourself and do what you know is right!! I've been in a job where I dreaded every day and I know the misery of hating my life because of my job. So exciting to see this new chapter unfold for you!

Abby said...

Yay!! I am so happy to see you back! I look forward to reading your daily wisdom, stories, and updates on life! :)

You have a ton of courage for the experience you've endured over the past 2 weeks, and past few months!. And it has given me another reason to look up to you as my big sis!!

I'm so pleased to know that life's hours will return to normal again,a nd you will hopefully be sleeping more than 3 hours per night!

Love you so much! I agree with Charbelle -- I am so excited to see how this next chapter in life will unfold for you! xoxo!

Becky said...

When I saw a new item in my Google Reader from you I literally squealed!!! So glad you're back!!! :) And so so happy things are working out for you! (Loooove that quote!)

Jess said...

Welcome back!! You were missed.

I love all the quotes, but the one about jobs being like a relationship really struck me. It's so true and I don't think many of us think that easy to just get stuck in a job because it pays the bills, even though it makes us miserable. I'm so sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped, but I'm so glad that you've made the choice to leave a place that was clearly not right for you.

Cherry Blossoms said...

Yay you are back!!! Like your sister said you have so much courage and you have a lot to be admired for. As tough as it is right now I know you made the right decision and in the end you really do have a lot to be proud of! I know I really admire you!

crystal said...

Im so glad you are back!! It takes a very strong person to take a step back from their "life as is" and find the way back to "life as I want it!" I admire your strength! Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your struggles with us. My fingers are crossed that the "falling back together" comes quickly :)

Mandy said...

I adore you and am so glad that you're back. You made the right decision. I was so worried about you. I love that quote and think it is definitely true. Amazing things are going to happen for you, Lisa. I know they are. As the others said, I can't wait to see how things unfold for you. I am privileged to be your friend.

Nicole said...

I love the quotes! I'm so glad to see you again. Congrats on making such a big decision. Everything will work out for you. :)

pinkflipflops said...

I'm glad you are doing what will make you happy. Kudos and welcome back friend!

Shoshanah said...

Welcome Back! That's too bad your new job didn't work out the way you were hoping it would. But I'm glad to hear that you're able to head back to your former employer. Wishing you the best luck there, and I'm excited that you're back to blogging!

Lo said...

Lisa!! So glad you are back to blogging! Best wishes at the new old job! That is really brave of you to leave a job. That would be super hard. Congrats on being brave!

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Ok, this is going to be a long comment. FYI.

First, I was totally about to mark all as read in my google reader because I've had the busiest day EVER and it was overwhelming me, but SOMETHING made me open my "Favourites" folder and THERE YOU WERE!

I'm so freaking excited you're back to blogging.

I would totally BBM you right now, but as you may have seen my blackberry has been MIA.

Anyhoo, I'm SO happy you are back, I hope you had a FABULOUS weekend with your family and I know you've been having a lot of doubts and such but I just know you are 100% making the right decision and I'm so excited for this new path that your life is on!!!!


Lisa-Marie said...

Lisa, I am very hay that you have decided to do this for your own happiness, and I am proud of you. I send you big hugs.

Of course, I am also happy that you are bag blogging, and I like the pinky purple! xx

Kelly said...

YAYYY I'm SOOOOO happy you are back!!!

I think this new chapter is definitely going to bring great things back. I really admire you for leaving when you knew it was right. You are right that life is WAY too short to be miserable!

J said...

Glad you are back Lisa! I missed you!! In the last two weeks I have completed almost half of my afghan! I always wonder how you are doing whenever I am crocheting!

You have to do what is right for you and that job seemed to be taking over your life. Of course you aren't going to love your job 100% of the time but hopefully going back to your old company will help you get back on track!! Just want you to be happy girl!!

Kyla Roma said...

I'm so glad that you've done what you need! Your experience in this was so close to mine last year that it's just a little scary.

80 hour work weeks aren't for anyone, and they're certainly not for anyone I care about!! lol I hope that you're feeling alright and aren't too shaken up, but know that this is a huge step forward in knowing what you need in work and life.

Can you imagine? You'll have a summer now! =)

Nicole said...

Yay! Congratulations on your decision! One of my friends also made this decision (with the same employer, too) but it was one he has been very happy with. I hope you experience those same feelings!!!

Again, welcome back!!

Emily Jane said...

So happy to see you back, love. I'm proud of you and I hope you know what you've been through and your way of dealing with everything shows great integrity and strength of character. <3

B and B said...

Excellent! Good for you, Lisa. I look forward to seeing you soon! We will have a much more relaxing conversation than we did when I saw you on Match Day!!! My turn to buy the glass of wine this time!!!

aimee said...

i'm SO glad you've come back to blogging. and that quote is so true..better things have yet to come for you. i'm glad things are working out with your former employer. i never blogged about it but i left my employer briefly in december and immediately came back..i learned that the grass isn't always greener! i'm glad you were able to make some changes..sleeping 3-4 hours and having nightmares about work is not a healthy lifestyle and not worth it!

Lauren/Lo/Sassy said...

Lisa! Sorry I didn't to comment earlier. I'm so happy you're a) back to blogging and b) made a decision to switch back to the old job. That takes some serious gutts and it sounds like it's the best in the long run. Way to go!

Anonymous said...

Hey Lis-

I'm so sorry to hear about all of the struggles you've had-- it sounds like you were completely miserable at your new job. I'm glad that you're going back to your old job, that you're back to blogging, and that you've got some high hopes for the next chapter. I'm excited for you--

Work makes such a difference in people's lives; no matter what kind of boundaries they have between work/home. I was miserable working in crisis; I loved it, but it wreaked chaos in my life. I loved working at the ICF: but staff were terrible and ran all over my boss. They had no respect for her whatsoever; no matter how much I tried to beat it into them. And now that I'm a supervisor, I realize how lucky I am to have the support from my manager and fellow supervisors... it's so important to know that you have a constant circle of support that is unwavering-- no matter what, in the end, you have to do what is best for you and what makes you happy.

Again; welcome back!

Nora said...

You know I'm glad to have you back, even though we talk everyday anyway :) That is a wonderful quote; it's definitely true.

So proud of you! <3.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying you tried, accepting it's not a match and moving on. I did something similar in a former life. I left my first job after college, moved to another state for a boy, tried to make a go of it, decided the relationship (and new town) weren't for me, moved back and took my old job again. I grew more during that period of my life than I can ever remember ... a lot of the lessons I learned then, I still carry with me now.

Sarah said...

YAY!!! I've been thinking about you a lot this week, but as I've not been anywhere near a computer for three days (I kid you not), I didn't get around to emailing you.
I'm so glad that you're coming back - I've missed your posts.

And I'm really relieved that you've reached this decision and can look forward to a return of sane working hours, sleeping hours and a calm life. I look forward to reading your old, upbeat posts. :D

Meg said...

good for you on doing what you believe in and not being miserable!! life is too short! congrats on the new"old" job!! xoxoox

Anais said...

xoxo Good for you Lisa!!! It is definitely NOT easy to make a decision like that, so the fact that you went through with it really shows that it was the right thing to do!

And you know that all of us here are with you no matter what!

ps: I'm glad you'll be able to go back to have more than 4 hours of sleep. That is definitely not healthy and I can't believe you were able to go through 6 months of this! You really are a strong woman! :)