July Happiness Project: Get Outside and to the Lake

Oh hey, remember how I said I was going to have a monthly "happiness project"? And then didn't focus on anything since focusing on keeping my schedule more tame for March and April? Whoops. Let's just say my focus for May and June was getting married/adjusting back to normal life!

I do want to get back to having a monthly focus, though. My July focus is going to be getting outside and to the lake. Summer is a short season here in the Midwest so I need to be intentional about making the most of it!  Here's how I'm planning to live out this focus in July!

1. Week day walks outside. I am terrible at working through my lunch and not taking a break. But in July I want to try to get outside for a 20 minute walk 2-3 times a week, which should be more than doable! A little mid-day fresh air is so good for me. Plus I love watching the steps accumulate on my FitBit (Do you have a FitBit? If so, we should be friends!)

2. Get to the lake more often. In July I'm focusing on getting to the lake more often. I'll be there 3 weekends which is probably the number of weekends I was at the last lake summer in total! Phil and I are taking his mom there for a weekend in 2 weeks. Then I'll head back the following week to spend Wed-Sat there so I can soak up some time with my Chicago brother and his family while they are up there for a week.

3. Weekend coffee + read outside. I'm not going to be around a whole lot this month, but on the weekends I will be around, I want to be intentional about going outside for my morning coffee and to read. I did that on the 4th of July and it was glorious to spend a couple hours out there sipping coffee and reading!

Do you have any monthly focuses or intentions?

April & May Happiness Project: My Schedule

As I've mentioned in several recent posts, my schedule hasn't exactly been a source of happiness in my life lately. While each thing I say yes to brings me happiness, for the most part, the sum of all of these yeses makes me feel overwhelmed and overtired. 

As part of our marriage prep through the church, we had to complete a questionnaire about our compatibility and personalities.  We scored in the highest quadrant of happiness, contentment, and conflict resolution. But one thing that came up during our discussion about the questionnaire and our relationship in general was my tendency to over schedule. To be clear, Phil is not the kind of person who tells me what I can or cannot do.  He is happy that I am an independent person with a full life.  But he also hears me mentions over and over how overly busy I feel.  And he also wishes that I would work more on relaxing versus filling every single hour with productivity on the weekends.  But I feel like I have to pack so much productivity into weekends because I'm gone so much during the week since I am over scheduling myself! So I need to plan less so I can relax more. 

I've mentioned my need to plan less countless times on this blog, but I have yet to actually do anything about it.  That's because saying I am going 'plan less' is so vague.  I do better with more specific ways of managing my life. 

So I've decided to be really specific with this goal to manage my schedule.  I've decided that I will not say yes to anything that isn't already on my calendar between now and our wedding, which is 7 weeks from today (!!!!).  One caveat to that is that I will say yes to wedding-related meetings and appointments as I will obviously have some details to attend to in the final weeks before the wedding.  But beyond that, I will be saying no to everything else. 

I know this may seem extreme to some, but it's what I need to do in order to go into our wedding week feeling prepared and rested and relaxed.  The last several months have been so chaotic. I feel so exhausted and have been sleeping like crap because my mind just spins with all that is going on. So I need to this for me - and for Phil. 

That doesn't mean that I won't do anything social over the next 7 weeks - I just won't be committing to anything in advance.  If the weekend rolls around and we feel like doing something with others, we'll see if any of our friends are free and get together with them. 

I'm looking forward to seeing how I feel over the next 7 weeks.  This goal will cover the months of April and May as we leave for our honeymoon right after our wedding and get back on May 31st. I think it's going to be so good for me and maybe it will help me learn how to say no without feeling bad or guilty. Because saying no to others is really saying yes to myself, which is important to do. 

Do you struggle with over scheduling?  Do you have any tips or tricks to recommend to a serial over-scheduler like me?

March Happiness Project: My Faith

With a new month comes a new focus for my happiness project! The season of Lent began yesterday so it seems like the perfect time to make my faith the focus of my happiness project.

I was born and raised Catholic and continue to practice my faith by attending mass weekly. Being Catholic is a big part of who I am. But I definitely have an opportunity to deepen my faith. Deepening my faith results in a greater level of peace, which in turn makes me more happy.  Here is what I plan to focus on this month:

1. Faith-based book club. I signed up for a faith-based book club in March that is being organized by the church where we'll get married. We'll meet 3 times in March and discuss the book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace:  A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart."This will also give me an opportunity to meet some other members of the church.

2. Read one other book related to faith. Besides reading the book for the church book club, I also want to read 1 other book with a message related to my faith. I have several on my book shelf and to-read list so it will be easy to find a book to read.

3. Establish a routine for daily prayer. I'm not great about making time for daily prayer each day. I want to focus on carving out time at the end of each day.

4. Go to Stations of the Cross 3 times during Lent.  For those who aren't Catholic/aren't familiar with this Lenten tradition, the Stations of the Cross is a 14-part series of prayers led by a priest, commemorating the day of Jesus's crucifixion. It's typically done on Fridays during Lent and many Catholic churches (at least in larger urban areas) host fish fries afterwards.  I used to go almost every week with my parents when I was young but haven't been in a very long time. There is a Catholic church 2 blocks from work that has stations of the cross at 11:15 every Friday so it should be fairly easy to go every other week during Lent.

I'm looking forward to a faith-filled month!

Do you have any goals or areas of focus for March?

February Happiness Project: Results

In February, my happiness project focus was my relationship with Phil. January was such a busy and chaotic month so February was the perfect month to focus more on reconnecting with Phil.  I set 3 goals for the month.  Here's how I did.

1. One meal at the dining room table each week.  Success!  We probably ate about 2 meals/week at the dinner table.  I know that's still probably a low number compared to others. But I usually only cook twice a week and the rest of the week we do our own things for dinner or eat leftovers.  I am sure this will change when/if we have kids but for now, making 2 meals/week works for us! #youdoyou

2.  No screen time after 8 pm. I did so-so at this.  I tried to be more mindful about putting my phone down in the evening but I was not always good about this!

3.  Relax more.  Success!  Phil is only around 1 day of the weekend since he spends 1 day at his mom's.  So I make a conscious effort to relax more on the day when he was home.  I wasn't able to do this for every weekend, but I tried to do it as much as possible (and would say to him, 'look at me relaxing!!' just in case it wasn't noticeable.  Lol.).

Our getaway trip to California was really helpful, too, as we spent 4 days exploring and doing things we enjoyed.

Did you have any goals or areas of focus for February?

February Happiness Project: My Relationship

It's time to shift my focus from organization to my February focus:  my relationship with Phil. Don't get me wrong, things are wonderful between us but in my opinion, there is always room for improvement. January was super busy for me and I was gone a lot.  And things really pile up when you are away, like mail, bills, laundry, cleaning, etc.  So when I was home, I was focused on keeping up with my adulting tasks. And, of course, I've been very busy with wedding planning.  The to do list is so dang long so I spend a lot of time on my computer in the evenings.  

In February, I'd like to work on being less distracted and more present in my relationship.  I don't want us to get into the habit of sitting side-by-side on the couch, staring at our computer screens.  So here are some goals I am setting for the month.

1. One meal at the dining room table each week.  I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but most of our meals are eaten on the couch while we watch the news or a show on netflix.  Part of this is because we are often heating up leftovers or doing our own things for dinner so it doesn't always make sense to sit at the dining room table.  But when we eat on the couch, we aren't facing each other, nor are we all that focused on talking to each other.  So once a week I would like to make a point to eat dinner at the dining room table.  Ideally I'd like to have 2 meals/week at the dining room table, but I'm starting with baby steps!

2.  No screen time after 8 pm. I'm terrible about being on my phone or laptop right up until the point that we go to bed.  Phil is far less reliant on his phone (which is typical for men, I think) so he checks it far less often than I do and rarely texts or emails people.  I'm the opposite as I will have long back and forth text message or whatsapp conversations with friends, and I will scroll through facebook at times.  I deleted the Facebook ap off my phone this week, though, so that will help. But in February, I will put my phone out of sight at 8 pm and leave it alone until we go to bed around 10. 

3.  Relax more.  On the weekends, Phil is often asking me to please relax.  For example, he will often make brunch for us on Saturdays but while he's making brunch, I'm in the kitchen doing meal prep or dishes.  He will tell me repeatedly to please go sit down on the couch and relax and he will bring me brunch but I usually power through what I am doing.  I know I need to find ways to relax more, and when he's making me a meal, I should relax and enjoy it.  Phil usually goes to his mom's for the whole day on Sunday so my goal is to try to do more of my meal planning on Sundays when he's gone so that I can relax more with him on Saturdays.  That doesn't mean I will spend the entire day on the couch next to him. But I recognize that I need to work on taking more time to relax and spend some quiet time with him.

It helps that we have a long weekend getaway to look forward to next week as that getaway will be all about relaxing and enjoying time together doing things we love to do.  We've also agreed that we won't discuss the wedding at all as we both need a break (especially me!) from thinking and talking about wedding plans!

Is there a goal or intention you plan to focus on in February? Are you the 'busier' person in your relationship?  Do you have a hard time relaxing like I do?  

January Happiness Project: Organizational Results

As I mentioned at the beginning of the month, this year I'm going to use Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, to come up with monthly focuses. The goal is to increase my happiness and satisfaction.

The January focus was organization. I used Apartment Therapy's "January Cure" to guide my focus for the month.  January also ended up being an incredibly busy month. I traveled 3 times for work and did a lot of wedding planning.  Free time was not plentiful and being away from home so much made it tough to focus on organizational projects.  But I did what I could and I did more than I would have if I hadn't set this intention for the month.

Most of my organizational work was done in the kitchen.  There was a lot of opportunity for improvement in that area. Part of the reason why there was so much opportunity for organization is due to how FREAKING FAST I unpacked when I moved in last May.  Unpacking fast was a necessity since I moved in on a Friday and had hip surgery on Monday.  I knew I needed to organize our drawers and cupboards but it was something that just got pushed off - until this month.

I'm not going to bore you with all the before and after results, but here are a couple of projects I completed in January!

Smallest project:  Kitchen drawer before...

Kitchen drawer after!

Medium Project:  food pantry cupboard

Food pantry after!

Bigger project:  kitchen pantry/closet (which had become the "I don't know what to do with this item so I will just put it here" closet).

Kitchen pantry/closet after!

It felt so good to organize our kitchen a bit.  There are still more cupboards and drawers to go through, but I made great progress this month.

Best tip I learned:  One thing the people at Apartment Therapy suggested is to set the timer on your phone for 30 minutes and do what you can do in those 30 minutes.  Sometimes I put off a project (like organizing cupboards/drawers) because it seems so overwhelming. But I love the 30 minute timer approach.  I would often be surprised by how much I got done in those 30 minutes!  My goal is to try to do this 1-2 times a week going forward to stay on top of other projects around the house that tend to get put off.

Was there anything you focused on in particular in January?

The Happiness Project: January

As I mentioned in my goal post earlier this week, this year I set fewer 'big' goals and decided to use Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project. Each month I'll set a focus for the month and try to develop habits around that focus that I can carry out throughout the year.  Gretchen picks an area of focus for each month in her book. Some months I'll use her focus, some months I will come up with my own.

Gretchen's focus for January was to "boost energy" by doing things such as going to sleep earlier, exercising better, organizing their house, tackling a nagging task, and acting more energetic.  I felt like that was TOO MUCH for me to focus on for a month so I decided that my January focus will be organization. It makes sense to make organization a focus for January as the first month of the year seems like the perfect time to tackle some organization projects.  Plus it's usually an awful month, weather-wise, so it's a good time to work on indoor projects. A friend at work had recommended that I join Apartment Therapy's "January Cure" so I'll be using the daily prompts they send out to organize our house for the new year.

At the end of the month, I'll share what I accomplished and set my focus for the next month. I'm excited to see what all I get done this month!  I'm traveling quite a bit this month (I'm currently on my first of 3 January work trips right now!!), so I might have a hard time doing all the daily prompts from the January Cure but I'll do what I can!

Do you have any goals or intentions for January?