As I've mentioned in several recent posts, my schedule hasn't exactly been a source of happiness in my life lately. While each thing I say yes to brings me happiness, for the most part, the sum of all of these yeses makes me feel overwhelmed and overtired.
As part of our marriage prep through the church, we had to complete a questionnaire about our compatibility and personalities. We scored in the highest quadrant of happiness, contentment, and conflict resolution. But one thing that came up during our discussion about the questionnaire and our relationship in general was my tendency to over schedule. To be clear, Phil is not the kind of person who tells me what I can or cannot do. He is happy that I am an independent person with a full life. But he also hears me mentions over and over how overly busy I feel. And he also wishes that I would work more on relaxing versus filling every single hour with productivity on the weekends. But I feel like I have to pack so much productivity into weekends because I'm gone so much during the week since I am over scheduling myself! So I need to plan less so I can relax more.
I've mentioned my need to plan less countless times on this blog, but I have yet to actually do anything about it. That's because saying I am going 'plan less' is so vague. I do better with more specific ways of managing my life.
So I've decided to be really specific with this goal to manage my schedule. I've decided that I will not say yes to anything that isn't already on my calendar between now and our wedding, which is 7 weeks from today (!!!!). One caveat to that is that I will say yes to wedding-related meetings and appointments as I will obviously have some details to attend to in the final weeks before the wedding. But beyond that, I will be saying no to everything else.
I know this may seem extreme to some, but it's what I need to do in order to go into our wedding week feeling prepared and rested and relaxed. The last several months have been so chaotic. I feel so exhausted and have been sleeping like crap because my mind just spins with all that is going on. So I need to this for me - and for Phil.
That doesn't mean that I won't do anything social over the next 7 weeks - I just won't be committing to anything in advance. If the weekend rolls around and we feel like doing something with others, we'll see if any of our friends are free and get together with them.
I'm looking forward to seeing how I feel over the next 7 weeks. This goal will cover the months of April and May as we leave for our honeymoon right after our wedding and get back on May 31st. I think it's going to be so good for me and maybe it will help me learn how to say no without feeling bad or guilty. Because saying no to others is really saying yes to myself, which is important to do.
Do you struggle with over scheduling? Do you have any tips or tricks to recommend to a serial over-scheduler like me?