Why I Loved Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

I feel like I was among the last kids on the block to hear about Brene Brown.  But luckily I have friends like Amy and Lauren who mentioned her work on their blogs which sparked my curiosity and led me to borrow her book, Daring Greatly, from the library in September.  It's a great book.  Those who liked Cheryl Strayed Tiny Beautiful Things or Glennon Melton's Carry On Warrior will also enjoy this book.  It's all about letting down your guard and showing your vulnerability.

I borrowed this book from the library, but it's one that I'll definitely be picking up for my collection as it's the kind of book I know I would reference again.  Here are a selection of passages that illustrate why I loved this book.

Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack.  Everything from safety and love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking.  We spend inordinate amounts of time calculating how much we have, want, and don't have, and how much everyone else has, needs, and wants.  What makes this constant assessing and comparing so self-deating is that we are often comparing our lives, our marriages, our families, and our communities to unattainable, media-driven visions of perfection, or we've holding up our reality again our own fictional account of how great someone else has it.

Yet another reminder to stop comparing our lives to others.  We don't know the half of it most of the time, so comparing is such a waste of time.

I did believe that I could opt out of feeling vulnerable, so when it happened - when the phone rang with unimaginable news; or when i was scared; or when I loved so fiercely that rather than feeling gratitude and joy I could only prepare for loss - I controlled things. I managed situations and micro-managed the people around me.  I performed until there was no energy left to feel.  I made what was uncertain certain, no matter what the cost.  I stayed so busy that the truth of my hurting and my fear could never catch up.  I looked brave on the outside and felt scared on the inside.

Yep, one of my defenses against dealing with things is staying so busy and traveling that I don't have time to sit down and process things happening in my life.  I pretty much have trips planned 2 weekends/month through February 2014...  it's my defense against dealing with living in Charlotte, and it works for me, but eventually I am probably going to have to slow down and deal with some of the emotions I am trying to stave off by traveling so much.

"You're not a bad person.  You're a very good person who bad things have happened to.  Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters.  We've all got both light and dark inside us.  What matters is the part we choose to act on.  That's who we really are."

This is a quote from a Harry Potter book that she shared that is so relevant to me.  Sometimes I feel bad about how ragey I feel about living in Charlotte.  But I need to remember that we all have some dark parts inside of us and what matters most is not acting on them.  I will admit that I totally act on the ragey thoughts when driving in Charlotte as it brings out Lisa Dotzenrage, but oh well.  We all have our faults.

Don't try to win over the haters; you are not the jackass whisperer.

Yes.  This.

What is the last book you read that really inspired you or made you think about your life differently?

A case of the blahs

I think I am experiencing a bit of the marathon blues.

It's only natural, I think. I felt similar after my 2006 marathon. I remember feeling kind of 'blah'. I remember finishing that marathon and thinking, "Was it a big deal that I ran a marathon?"

Now I ask myself, "Is it a big deal that I ran a 4:22:10 marathon and beat my time goal of 4:30? Was 4:30 an ambitious goal? Is 26.2 mile really that far??

I realize that questions like these sound down right delusional.

But marathon training kind of messes with your mind, in my opinion. You lose perspective of what a 'long run' is. You toss around phrases like, "I only have to run 12 miles this weekend."

I think I need time away from marathon training to gain respect for what I accomplished.

But then I see things like the text of this ad from Nike, which I saw on (Long) Road to Paradise.

You pretended the snooze button didn’t exist. You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept. While others ate their pancakes you had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes. You double-knotted. You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you.

"You ran 5Ks, 10Ks, 26.2 miles. Some days more, some days less. You rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow you. Sun tried to microwave you. Snow made you feel like a warrior.

You cramped. You bonked. You paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. You made excuses to keep going. Questioned yourself. Played mind games. Put your heart before your knees. Listened to your breathing. Sweat sunscreen into your eyes. Worked on your farmer’s tan.

You hit the wall. You went through it. You decided to be man about it. You decided to be woman about it. Finished what you started. Proved what you were made of. Just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer... You ran. And we ran with you. How much farther will we go? As far as you will."

I read this ad and I remember that running a marathon IS an admirable goal.

I remember that I made quite a few sacrifices while training.

I remember how hard I pushed myself.

I know I shouldn't need to read a silly ad to feel this way, but I do. I am confident that this is just a little phase that I am going through; before long, that feeling of pride will catch up with me.

Have you ever worked towards a goal and then after achieving it, felt a little blah like I do? Also, I should emphasize that I am not fishing for compliments; I am just being honest about how I feel, post-marathon.

To-do List

I found this to-do list here (via here), and had to post it.

I am a lover of lists. Especially to-do lists. I get this from my mom. We host Thanksgiving for her side of the family nearly every year. Sometimes it's a big crowd - like 38 people - so it requires alot of planning. My mom usually has a day by day list - I can vividly picture it in my mind. It always seemed to be on a yellow legal pad. I sort of dreaded the list when I was younger, but now that I am older and more fully understand the amount of work that goes into planning a holiday, I appreciate my mom's list making abilities. And I wish I could go back in time and tell my snotty, teenage self to stop rolling my eyes and complaining and just pitch in!

Right now my to-do list consists of many things, such as writing a letter to NWA, grocery shopping for ingredients to make Spanish Rice this weekend, and finish my last MBA Derivatives assignment (woot, woot!).

It's great to have practical lists, but I love lists like these that remind you of the important stuff in life. Because following this whimsical to-do list is certainly going to make you a more happy person and will lead to a much more fulfilling life.

What's on your to-do list these days?