First Summer Weekend + Kitty's Back

Even though we are almost a month into meteorological summer, this was our first actual summer weekend. And it was a good one! 

Friday was a quiet night which is what we prefer. Saturday ended up being a full day, but it was the best day of the weekend. With young kids, it's best to have lots of plans/things to do - at least for us! 

It was Phil's morning to get up with Will, so I slept in until 7. I can't remember the last time that happened - it felt amazing! Once I was up and had breakfast, I took the boys for a walk/scoot to get some of their energy out and to give Phil a break. 

Stage 4 clinger Will would prefer to hold my hand while on a walk. He can't get close enough to mom!

After the walk, we headed to the library for a quick visit. They are always rotating out their toys and right now, the featured toy in this play house is... insects! Paul is terrified of them so won't go near them but Will thought they were cool. I am honestly very squeamish when it comes to bugs so I wouldn't choose to cozy up with insects! But different strokes for different folks! 

The other toy station was an ice cream shop which Paul really enjoyed. 

Our next stop was Paul's first gymnastics class! He had a blast! It's a 30-minute class and they rotate them through 4 stations with different things like a trampoline, balance beam, bar, etc. Phil grocery shops on Saturday morning so I had both boys but we need to change things up because Will was kind of a terror! Phil starts grocery shopping around 9 since that is when Aldi opens and he prefers to go there first to get as much from our list as possible - which makes total sense. But we are going to have to play around with the schedule so I don't have to bring Will with to class.

Then it was lunch-time, followed by nap/quiet time. I was excited/hopeful for a long nap from Will since we had done so much that morning. But unfortunately Will had a night terror one hour into his nap. It's uncommon for night terrors to happen during naptime, but Paul also had naptime night terrors. Night terrors are so scary for us as parents because the child appears to be awake, but they aren't. You can tell they don't know who you are and it's very hard to get them to calm down. On Saturday, it took 45 minutes to get Will out of the night terror. I share this experience in case a reader's child goes through the same thing. We didn't know what it was the first time Paul had one and that was especially scary. Paul has outgrown them, I think/hope. Will had one in early January when he was really sick with an ear infection so they can start very early! They tend to happen when a child is overtired or sick, but they can also happen for no reason.

After Will came out of the night terror, we had a snack and then headed over to Phil's coworker's house for a little play date with another family. They have a hot tub that they have turned into a kid's pool for the summer. The boys had fun splashing around. 

We were all tired at the end of the day on Saturday after our full day! 

Sunday was a bit of a quieter day. I got up with Will at 5. Phil took over around 7:30 and gave me a break until I left for swimming lessons with Will around 8:15. We do a lot of swapping of parenting duties on weekends, especially in the morning. It's what works for this stage of life but I don't think it will always be like this. But toddlers are just exhausting! 

After swimming lessons with Will, 2 college friends came over and we walked/Paul scooted to the Starbucks that is about a mile away. Us girls enjoyed some beverages and Paul got a donut. It was great to catch up with my friends and hear about how their summers are going so far. 

I once again had high expectations for naptime, but they were dashed. Will napped for about 75 minutes which is not enough... but Phil took over Will duty to give me a longer break to read/rest. 

And then Paul and Phil headed to Phil's mom - to bring back our cat, Oscar! 

Newer reader may not realize we have a cat, and long-time readers might have forgotten. She is very much a part-time cat for us these days. Once the pandemic hit in March 2020, she has mostly lived with my MIL. She's a widow so really needed the extra companionship from Oscar during the pandemic. And Oscar is just really not a fan of kids. She would never hurt our boys, but she hates loud noises... so being around a toddler who communicates by screaming is not ideal. Oh and yes, Oscar is a girl cat. We were told orange cats are always boys but it turns out that is wrong! But we didn't find out Oscar was a she until we'd settled on the name. 

She'll be with us for a week or 2 as my MIL will be out of town part of this week. Even though many cats are ok being on their own and just being checked on, that is not the case with Oscar. When we got our cat, we never envisioned that she'd mostly live with my MIL but it's the way things have played out and best for everybody. We did not have kids when we got Oscar in 2014 so we didn't have to take temperament around kids into consideration. She has always been pretty skittish... she LOVES Phil and just kind of tolerates me. ;) 

Keeping this curious kid out of her food and water dish will be interesting. Hopefully he's less excited about her food than he is about the spaghetti he ate on Sunday night. It was definitely a bath-requiring kind of meal!

In closing, another positive development from the weekend is that after months of Paul insisting that we sit in the chair in his room until he falls asleep, he now lets us leave and we just have to check on him every 10-20 minutes until he falls asleep. Which is totally doable for us and one thousand times better than sitting in the room until he falls asleep. He was ok with that all 3 nights of the weekend so hopefully this "sticks." I share this because some of these awful sleep stages can feel endless. But they can correct themselves! Now to get Will to sleep past 5-5:30... starting tonight we are taking our pediatricians advice to leave him in his crib until 6am... Hopefully he quickly learns to fall back asleep. He - and we - need more sleep. 

How was your weekend?

Sleep Training for Adults

Since I'm in my mid-30s, I tend to come across a lot of posts that talk about sleep training for babies as many of the people in my life have infants and small children.  I hear and read about them talking about the exhaustion, the interrupted sleep, and the sleepless nights, and I think - me, too, sister.  Let me be clear, though.  When I say that, I'm not trying to compare my sleep issues with their challenges.  I know their exhaustion is so much bigger than mine as they are providing 24/7 care for an infant.  But I do understand the challenge and frustration of sleep deprivation.  I know what it is like to feel like a zombie as that is how I felt during the month of August when my sleep quality was at an all-time low.

Those feelings of exhaustion and frustration led me to meet with a sleep specialist at the end of August.  After filling out a long questionnaire, tracking my sleep for 10 days, and having a long discussion about my sleep problems, they confirmed what I pretty much knew already - I have insomnia.  They explained what they felt triggered my insomnia, explained why it has gotten worse and then went over a list of things that I could do to improve my sleep.  The good news is that insomnia is curable.  The bad news is that it takes a lot of discipline and it won't improve overnight.

I've been working on incorporating the suggestions that they made and thought I'd review them here as it seems like I encounter more and more people who struggle to sleep.  So hopefully this post will help someone who is experiencing sleep struggles!

1.  Go to bed when you are tired.  I almost feel embarrassed to start off with this because it seems so obvious, kind of like the advice to only eat when you are hungry.  But I do not have control of when I have to wake up in the morning, so I tried to control when I went to bed.  I would consider when I had to be up and go to bed at a time that would allow me to get ~8 hours of sleep.  But going to bed because "it was time to go to bed" instead of because I was tired meant that I'd often toss and turn, and then that tossing and turning would feed thoughts like, "oh my God, what if I don't fall asleep tonight?  How will I function tomorrow?"  Which made it even MORE difficult to fall asleep.  These days, I do not try to go to bed unless I am tired.  The often means staying up later than I would like, but it also means falling asleep easier.

2.  Bed is only for sleeping.  I used to read in bed before going to sleep but the doctor said to stop doing this as I need to train my brain to only associate my bed with sleep.  Now I read on my couch until I feel exhausted/near the point of falling asleep and then I go to bed.

3.  Take melatonin with dinner.  Before I started taking Ambien, and after I stopped taking Ambien in July, I habitually used melatonin.  Except I was doing it all wrong as I was taking it at bedtime.  It turns out that it's more effective to take it several hours before going to bed.  It's not supposed to illicit feelings of sleepiness - it's meant to train your body to produce more melatonin.  Now I try to take it with dinner or within a couple of hours of going to bed.

4.  If you are awake for more than 10 minutes during the night, get out of bed and go do something, like read.  This is BY FAR the hardest piece of advice to put into practice.  It's common for me to wake up during the night and not fall back asleep and the last thing I want to do at that time is get out of bed, even though I know that laying in bed and tossing and turning won't help me.  I've gotten better about being disciplined about this but it's so hard.  I usually only have to read for 20-30 minutes and then I'll feel tired enough to go back to bed, but it's still frustrating and annoying.  Some weeks I only have to do this once but last week I had to get up and read 4 nights!

Those are the 4 big things I've been doing and they are definitely helping.  I'm still not sleeping as great as I'd like to be but I'm certainly sleeping more than I did in August!  Hopefully my sleep continues to improve!

Would you characterize yourself as a good sleeper?  If you aren't, what tricks do you employ to improve your sleep? 

Marathon Madness Monday: Week 9

Well, I am half ways through training!  It has gone fast, but it know the next 9 are going to go even faster as the next couple of months are going to be super busy for me due to some things happening at work.

Today I wanted to talk about another important aspect of marathon training that I am really struggling with:  sleep.  There are a few good articles out there, like this one and this one.  Bottom line, runners, or anyone training for an endurance event, need sleep.  Probably more sleep than they would need under normal conditions.  According to William O. Roberts, M.D., associate professor at the University of Minnesota School of Medicine and medical director of the Twin Cities Marathon, "A sleep-deprived person is physically able to run the same distance or lift the same weight, but the mental effects can have consequences."

That is phrase probably sums up how I have been feeling lately.  I have been getting my workouts in and have been happy with how they have gone - especially my long runs, but I have felt more mentally and physically fatigued lately.  I am still absolutely loving marathon training and haven't hit a burn out point, but I just really wish I could get a bit more sleep.

Most nights, my sleep pattern looks like this (according to the sleep ap I used  I'm obsessed with on my iPhone):

I awake multiple times and don't really sleep deeply for very long.

  Then once every week or two, the stars align, or my body gives in to the exhaustion, and I sleep like this!

A blissfully deep night of sleep!

 Sleeping has never been my forte.  I struggle to fall asleep.  I struggle to stay asleep.  I avoid caffeine after noon, take melatonin at night, read for 30 minutes before going to bed, and while some of those activities do help, I still suck at sleeping.  Add in the fact that I am dealing with some stressful things at work (that I can't share at this point), and well, some days I'm a hot tired mess. 

I don't really have any solutions at this point, but one way I compensate for sleeping less is trying to plan a less full calendar.  I try to reserve 1-2 nights a week that are absolutely unplanned, and I had a couple of unplanned weekends this month.  Having more downtime seems to help compensate for the fact that I'm getting around 7-7.5 hours of sleep a night (ideally I'd like to get 8-9).  My schedule will be out of my control in September when I start to travel for work (hello, 4 business trips in 5 weeks).  I wish I could store up these times of relaxation, but I know that isn't how it works.  I guess when I start traveling, I will have to use the plane rides as times to relax or something like that!

On  a positive note, I think I have picked out my marathon race outfit - or at least my race shirt.  I think it will provide for maximum spotability - don't you think?

And yes, that is a large bunny that we are crowding around and no, I do not know why there is a giant bronze bunny in a random location in south Minneapolis!

Here is how the training broke out this week:

Monday:  Hills, 8 miles, 9:36 pace.  The temps were cool this evening so this workout went pretty well!

Tuesday:  Biked 11 miles on a stationary bike and did some strength training, focusing on my core and arms.

Wednesday:  7.35 miles w/ 3 miles at half marathon pace.  My goal for those 3 miles was 8:40, my pace ended up being 8:49.  I feel so so about that.  I gave it my all, so I can't really complain.

Thursday:  4.15 mile recovery run at 9:22 pace.  I felt SO tired during this run.  I had slept very poorly the night before (less than 5 hours of sleep), and just felt sluggish.  It was 65, but 83% humidity so not the best conditions.

Friday:  rest

Saturday:  16 miles at 9:21 pace.  Another awesome long run!!  We picked it up at the end so our last mile was an 8:50 pace!  Felt awesome!

Sunday:  rest

Training totals:

Week 9:  35.5 miles
Training to date:  269 miles


Would you say that you are a 'good sleeper'?  Like I said, I suck at it and I don't enjoy it.  I know some people enjoy sleeping and would almost list it as a hobby, but if I could take a (legal) pill to replace the need to sleep, I totally would as I do not really 'enjoy' sleeping.