Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Worth Waiting For

"So what is your type?"

A friend recently poised this question to me. By now, I should have a well-rehearsed, canned answer to this question. But I really don't. I don't know what my Mr. Right will look like. I don't know what kind of job he'll have. I can't give you a laundry list of what I'm looking for. Sure, I'd love it if he was handsome and wore glasses, but does that really matter? No, it doesn't.

What does matter is the way he will make me feel. This is something I've been thinking about as we approach Valentine's Day. I could try to succinctly say how he will make me feel, but instead I am going to share two poems from Mary Anne Radmacher:

you are every whisper of promise.
when i look at you i hear the laughter of my life,
i remember every dream i have forgotten just after awakening,
i believe in any possibility that i have once touched.

even when you are not with me,
you are part of the memories i make.

and now... i will be the soil of your rich harvest season. the season where the pain of the fallow and the burden of the bountiful come together. i am the orchard in which you walk and ponder and begin to hear the wind whisper of the immeasurable breadth of your strengths. i am the growing places in which you wander and begin to see the richness of your own knowing. it is in this place where you may both rest and soar.

******

if you are the question
the answer is yes.
if you are the challenge
the problem is already solved.
then and now
yesterday and tomorrow
i go on choosing you.

***

Aren't those lovely poems? I keep the book of Radmacher's poem on my bedside stand and read them for inspiration. How does your beloved make you feel? If you are single like me, how do you hope he will make you feel?

21 comments:

I'maNolaGirl said...

What beautiful poems!!! I love that you are not searching for anything more than that feeling. Just lovely.

My hubby make me feel every moment I experience is better because he is a part of it.

Emily Jane said...

Beautiful poems!! Thanks so much for sharing :) Mine makes me feel incredibly lucky, and like I can do anything I set my mind to. He's been the one who's countered my self doubts with reassurances and helped me on my way to living the life I want to. He's taught me more about life, love, faith - and I've become a better person all-round because of him :)

Abby and Ryan said...

Those are such beautiful poems!!! I love poems like that -- that you have some of the lines multiple times and you can find more and more meaning every time!

My husband makes me feel comfortable with myself. I'm sometimes uptight, high strung, and what-not...but when I'm around him, I am able to relax and just be at peace.


Lisa, You are going to find your someone out there. You're right, you have no idea what he will be like, look like, talk like, do for a living; but when you find him it will all seem perfect and meant to be. You are such an amazing woman -- you are beautiful, smart, compassionate, and a great person (and a woman I look up to daily).

Love you sis!!! :)

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Those poems are beautiful! I am just like you, I do not have a "type" and when you look back at all the guys I have dated they are all very, very different.
There were a couple things I wanted, but like most girls we tend to settle. Never in a million years did I think I wouldn't have to settle on anything! Cy makes me feel like he can't live without me. He immediately felt like family to me and just felt like home!
I know you are going to find that person too, you are just too sweet not to!

B and B said...

With Paul, I didn't see "it" coming. We were friends first for several years. I was lucky!

Mama Nastase said...

Lisa, when it came to "types", I ended up marrying someone physically NOT my "typical" type. There were other differences; all things that in the scheme of things, were NOT important.

My husband has the qualities that non-negotiables on my "list", plus a million other positive attributes that I had never even considered!

My husband loves me no matter how flawed I am, and is my biggest fan, always. He makes me want to be a better person and I admire him immensely. He is truly my favorite person and after almost 9 years of marriage, still makes my heart skip a beat when I see him!

I believe that God pairs us with someone who will make us a better person. That's why we're each referred to as the "better half"! :) Your someone is going to be amazing & wonderful. He's going to challenge you in ways you can't even imagine (but in a good way!)

He might come in a package that you'd never expect, but he will be perfect for you because he's part of God's perfect plan. I can't wait to meet him! ;)

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Awww great post and those are beautiful poems!

Eric definitely makes me feel comfortable and at ease. I can be my complete self around him!

aimee said...

i love the title of your post..worth waiting for..because it's so true. once you find "the one," you will know that he was totally worth waiting for even though being single sometimes really sucks and going on bad dates and getting hurt sucks even more..but it's so worth it once you meet the person you were meant to be with.

my boyfriend makes me so incredibly loved with an unconditional love. the way that i love him is a way that i never knew was possible..i never thought i'd be able to love someone the way i love him. it's an amazing feel! it was so worth the wait!!

Leigh said...

Those are such pretty poems! In regards to the question you were asked about "your type of guy"...before I met my fiance, I definitely thought I wanted a guy who looked one way, but knew that I wanted someone who was supportive, loving, funny, etc. Although my fiance looks nothing like "my type", he has all the qualities I wanted in a guy!

Becky said...

Those poems made me cry! Just thinking of him makes me smile - even when I'm down. He's my best friend and I feel incredibly blessed to have him.

Carolina John said...

i still say that if someone asks what your type is you should just show them a picture of me. ha!

or just answer rich, handsome, and giving. that would work too.

I would also tell people that "kiss my ass also begins with K"... i hate valentines day.

Nora said...

well aren't those lovely little poems.

kind of made me all teary-eyed.

how do i hope to feel? excited. full of butterflies and positive energy. fulfilled. safe. warm. embraced. comfortable, but not too comfortable. challenged, in a good way. exhilirated.

I don't really know if I could tell you what I want/need either :)

Anais said...

Absolutely beautiful poems! I wish I read poetry more often, I actually really enjoy it...

I completely agree with you. Having a type (in my opinion) can pretty much be like setting yourself up for failure... I'd much rather date different guys who make me feel loved and happy :)

ps: I actually have dating this guy who I kind of really like... but it's still very early. :)

Kyla Roma said...

I love your approach- just to wait for that feeling instead of having a grocery list of criteria that people need to meet. Very wise =)

I hope you're ridiculously happy right now, as you are, and that when you least expect it you bump into the question you want to answer yes to.

Kelly said...

Such a great post- I love those poems.
I think it's so great that you don't have a "type" or a laundry list of things you want in someone. Those are so limiting! If you look at my two most serious boyfriends they couldn't be ANY more different at first glance. I think their biggest similarity is the fact that they are both "nice guys"- I don't like the bad boy type who is only nice to me. I want someone who treats most people around them with respect and kindness. This has a lot to do with how they will treat me when we are 50 and sick of each other :)

Eric makes me laugh, which is very important to me. He also supports me, even when I have crazy ideas. Both key.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

My husband makes me feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. Like I'm with the person I'm supposed to be with. Like I'm supported mentally, physically, emotionally. Like we are positive contributors to the world around us.

J said...

I think finding the right person is about a feeling. Values and morals are important but I don't think that is a "type" of person. If you click with someone then it will work!

Lauren/Lo/Sassy said...

I love these poems. Are they all from her book you mentioned last week I think it was? I agree that while you can want a lot of things in your man to be, you just never really know. Although good looks and a great job are comforting, it's the man with a good soul and a kind heart that you want. THe man who is ready to be and do anything for you just because. It's the kind of man who is willing to put his needs aside when he realizes you need something more. Meanwhile, just keep on being patient. He's out there.

Mandy said...

Those poems are beautiful. I need to look into her other poems, those could make beautiful vows.

brookem said...

those are such sweet poems. thanks for sharing them.
when i was single, i focused a lot on thinking of what i wanted and didn't want. that wasn't always the best thing. my boyfriend who ive been with now for about a year an a half, is so much of what i wanted, but also a lot of what i never knew i wanted, but really ended up needing.

Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing those poems - they were really lovely. I don't know about you, I feel less certain about what I would want in a guy all the time - other than the obvious: kind, warm, funny, intelligent, conversational, etc. It kinda scares me, because I feel like I'm depending on the 'when you know, you know' thing and I can't help but wonder: what if I don't know?