Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Ex Files

Earlier this week, I was reading a post written by Rachel of MWF Seeking BFF about finding friendships in the work place. It got me thinking about relationships in the work place.

Here's the thing. I work 6 cubes away from my ex boyfriend.

Yep, 6 cubes. That is close. Really freaking close.

We met when working together back in 2005, started dating when he moved onto a new department, and broke up in the spring of 2006.

Aside from a few Happy Birthday emails, we hadn't spoken for 3 years - until I started my job in his department last week.

Since it had been so long since we'd spoken, I wasn't sure what to expect. But we actually had a really great conversation. We've both grown and changed over the 4 years so I think a friendship of some sort is possible. At a minimum, we'll be mature adults, put our past behind us, and have a proper working relationship.

I've learned my lesson - dating in the work place usually isn't a good idea.

So I have sworn off of it.

But my best friend Brooke thinks otherwise. Last week at book club, she bet me a mani and a pedi that I will marry a fellow Chariot employee.

We'll see who wins! I'm very confident that I will!

Have you ever dated a co-worker? How did it work out for you?

22 comments:

Lisa-Marie said...

I have once, but it wasn't 'serious' dating. Dating is a bit different here too, not so formal.

I think it's kid of ok to date a co-worker if your work don't have an issue with it, at least that way you have something in common.

Kyla Roma said...

Woah!! lol That's really close! I'm glad you guys had a good conversation, that must have been a relief.

I haven't dated a co-worker, but I was a student in a class that Mister was the teaching assistant for when we met. We started dating while I was in his class still, and because it was a theatre class (stage carpentry) it wasn't like he was marking my papers and was never in class, he wasn't marking me, but he was in class all the time helping everyone. It was beyond stressful! As soon as I was out of his class things with us were much, much better. =)

Charbelle said...

I tend to err on the side of it's a bad idea and I avoid it but you've read my story, most of my relationships are complicated.

Nicole said...

That has to be so weird. I've never dated a coworker. But my office throws events for our volunteers across the country. Sometimes my ex shows up to those.

Emily Jane said...

Haha! I'm betting on you, too. I was a littler nervous when you told me you'd be working so close to him but it sounds like the 4 years has done wonderful things for both of you and I'm happy you can be grown up and unawkward about it :) I've never dated anyone I worked with. I once kissed someone I worked with, once, when I was about 19 but we both decided it would be too weird lol!

Nora said...

Nope, never. Probably because at this company I'm the youngest person and the next person closest to me in age is 35. Not to mention they are all married and so not my type anyway...

I am kind of willing to take your friends bet. I'm not saying the guy will be from your department but I bet you meet someone else there.

Becky said...

Haha, I love that she bet you a mani and pedi!

Mandy said...

I am really glad that you and your ex had the talk that you did and that the two of you are on good terms. I think thats really important, in any relationship, but especially if the two of you will be working so closely together.

I've never dated a co-worker. I work really, really hard to keep my professional life separate from my private life.

Kelly said...

Haha, wow that is close!
I actually would definitely date a coworker- though I have maybe like 2 male coworkers and they are like pushing 60 so maybe an elementary school is not the place to find a man? haha. I did have a classroom assistant two years ago who was a guy a year younger than me. We became friends, we didn't date because we both had significant others and even if we didn't maybe we wouldnt have liked each other but if we did I wouldnt have cared that we work together. Sure it would've been awkward if we broke up but there would have been plenty of K kids to calm things. I'm not really one for big dramatic break ups, I usually end on okay enough terms to tolerate the person. My only serious ex boyfriend is actually invited to my wedding so obviously I'm okay with being friends with exes, especially several years later.
Anyway, I am one of those people who wouldn't want to miss out on someone by imposing restrictions. I said I don't date football players or guys I meet at bars and here I am marrying one, so never say never right?

Gracie (Complicated Day) said...

Dating at work sounds awkward to me, but then, isn't awkwardness the spice of life?

BetsE said...

YES! I have dated a co-worker and actually ended up marrying him! :) I even turned him down the first time he asked me out because I didn't want to date someone I worked with....you just never know where you might find that perfect someone! Don't limit yourself! :)

Abby said...

6 cubes away!! Eeeeeek! That is close! I would be a nervous wreck.

I think people who are able to work in the same environment as their significant other "tick" differently. Not in a bad way! - they are just very interesting to me! (Like our Mom & Dad ;).) I can't imagine working at the same place as Ryan. It would be soooo weird! Maybe because our career areas are completely polar opposite.

Abby said...

......it works well for Jim & Pam from the Office. :)

B and B said...

Well, I have been married for 30 years to my co-worker! We always tell people we met on hall duty, under the clock, where our old principal assigned us to stand in the mornings before school and in between classes. We were friends for two years before we started dating and did not tell people at work we were seeing each other. In fact, many were quite surprised when we announced we were getting married. Fortunately for us, the school district had just changed the rule that married couples could actually work in the same building or I would have had to transfer, because that's the way it was for women back in the dark ages. Can you believe it???? So, Lisa, never say never!!!!

Marlys said...

Well, the big difference is that we didn't meet in the work place, but after we married we built a business together and it has worked for us. I do have the office farthest away from his desk so that does help! Abby, I guess you could say we "tick" differently than some couples and I can't imagine some couples working together! Say hi to "him" from us, ok?

Leigh said...

Haha that is super close to your ex! Glad to hear that it wasn't an awkward conversation because it could have been really easily (well depending on how the relationship ended).

I've never dated anyone that I've worked with. To me, it just seems like it would put a lot of stress on the relationship as you have to maintain a professional relationship while still getting to know the person.

Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF said...

Yikes. That could be a disaster, but time really does fix everything doesn't it? Are you worried at all that you'll find out things you don't want to know about each other's lives?

I have never dated a coworker. My husband and I met in college. And i've pretty much only worked places that are all women, with a stray gay man here and there. But I do know some work-romance success stories... in both cases they kept it quiet for a while, just to eb sure it was going to last before the whole company got in their business.

BUt, still, I'd always be scared it was going to go teh way of Michael Scott and Jan.

Thanks for the link!

J said...

Oh that MWF blog is super cool and I agree with her that finding a BFF can be hard in the "real" world. I actually work in the same company as my Boyfriend now and it works out ok. We see each other a little bit but not a lot. he works in a different building than me just down the street. Its a tough call but you can make it work, I guess it just depends on the person.

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Hahahaha I love this!

I dunno... your friend might be right ;) Guess we'll have to wait and see.

I'm glad things aren't uncomfortable with your ex though! That's a relief!

pinkflipflops said...

no.. but today we had a sub in the next room that i totally made out with one drunken night in college.. haha

i'm no miss said...

I think the mani and pedi bet is cool!

Neither do I think dating a co-worker is a good idea..I dunno..

Anais said...

oh boy... that IS close!!! I would have freaked out... but you're right, it has been some time...

I'll be very interested to see who will win :D