My trip home last weekend was so wonderful, but was such a whirlwind experience for me. I combined a day of work, which included a client event and a client meeting on opposite sides of the Twin Cities, a day of networking which included 5 meetings, I helped Phil move and settle into his new home, got my taxes done, visited a friend on Saturday afternoon, had dinner with 6 friends on Saturday evening, and after dinner I made a cameo at an engagement party that Phil attended so I could see his friends for a bit.
Phew. It was a lot to fit into about 3 days. But that is how these trips always go. And despite the fact that I fit a lot in, there are still things I didn't get a chance to do and people I didn't get a chance to see. Of course the fullness of my life in Minneapolis and the fact that I have more people to see than I have time to see is a blessing, I just wish I was better at not feeling guilty about not seeing as many people as I would like. Maybe this feeling of guilt is something that people who move away from home get better at managing, but it's a challenge for me. I also have had to learn to accept that trips home either need to be entirely friend-centric or family-centric. Because my family and friends live in different areas of Minnesota, it's darn near impossible to combine the two unless I am home for a week, which is rare.
All that said, it was a wonderful trip home. The temperatures were bitterly cold as the high for my time at home was a whopping 3 degrees, but I did not complain or care because there is nothing like being surrounded by my favorite people in a city I love. I feel like a better version of myself when I am in Minneapolis and it's almost like I let go of a breath I've been holding for months when I land in Minneapolis. Of course the flip side of that is the tears that start when I board my flight back to Charlotte and often don't end during the entire flight, as was the case on Sunday. Yes, I am that girl that cries on airplanes, probably attracting the attention of seatmates.
As of today, I have 5 weeks until I hit the one-year mark of my move to Charlotte. I know that seems soon to some people, because I keep hearing that over and over, but to borrow from a comment that my friend Nilsa made a couple of weeks ago, telling me that my time in Charlotte is almost over is like standing at the 20th mile of a marathon and telling runners that they are almost done (which is the cardinal sin of spectating, by the way). Except it's worse in my case because it's like I'm at the 20th mile, except when I hit 26.2, the course marshal is saying, "actually, you are not done. I know you are exhausted but you are going to need to continue to run for an indeterminate amount of time."
So in the mean time, I'm praying, crossing my fingers and doing whatever I can to ensure that there will be a one-way ticket out of Charlotte in my future. Each trip home is a taste of how good and full my life will be and I have to believe that I'll find my way back there. Some way, some how.
13 comments:
So glad you had a great trip home (although that was so much to do - you must be exhausted!), and fingers crossed you'll be back there on a more permanent basis soon!
God, I don't feel like your time in Charlotte has gone fast AT ALL- I feel like it's been a lifetime. I mean I feel like last April in my life was relatively recently, but not in yours. That's because time does NOT fly when you are not having fun :)
I'm glad you had fun in MN. I am looking forward to when you are back there forever.
When I see people cry on airplanes, I always feel SO sad for them. I don't know why but I find people having to leave others they love just heartbreaking. I once saw a woman in uniform leaving her kid (well, at least I think it was her kid). I was about to start crying in the airport even though I have no clue who this woman is. I think part of it might be that when I go on trips I'm always so happy, so it makes me sad when people are sad on a plane.
Some way, some how & soon! I just know it has to happen and pray it is as soon as possible! I think the analogy of running a marathon is a perfect way to express how you feel.
Time moves fast when you are in a good place, but like molasses when you aren't! Paraphrasing a hymn I love - "Soon and very soon, you are going to come home!" We hope & pray!
When I travel to certain cities, I have always felt challenged to see the people I want to see. Take Charlotte, for example. So many friends from college who weren't necessarily friends with one another in college. Combine that with living in different areas (as far north as Lake Norman) and many friends who have kids (so, they have less flexibility than friends without kids). It's nearly impossible to see everyone. I used to make my trips all about seeing as many people as possible. These days, when I head back to Boston, I tend to see the one or two people I see every trip and then whomever else I want to see at that time (it tends to rotate), which is sometimes no one at all.
I think your feelings of guilt are natural. And, if you knew you'd be away from MPL for good, you'd probably begin to let certain friendships slide (because there really isn't any way you'll be able to keep up with everyone). I think the fact that you hope to be living there again soon makes it easy to be so hard on yourself.
I completely know that feeling of feeling stretched, wishing there was more time, and just really learning how precious time is. I don't think it ever goes away - and I've noticed I've sort of separated myself over the years. You end up having to pick and choose, and it sucks.
The best thing for me was having a place with people I love to come back to - because leaving was so heartbreaking for me when I used to come back to a place I dont like. Now, Thank God, I like my home in AZ - so coming home isn't as difficult.
Hopefully you can get back to MNPLS soon - as I know that is where you are happy & where you belong!
I'm glad you had such a wonderful time at home. It sounds like you fit SO much in during your time there! I just wish you didn't have to get back on that darned plane to Charlotte. Ugh. :(
I just feel for you so much right now. Because now the time is coming to an end... but I know you have to be feeling SO stressed because so much is up in the air with finding a new job. I am still crossing fingers and toes a great job opportunity crosses your path very, very, VERY soon.
With the way you feel about Minneapolis, I just know you will find yourself a resident of that city again. Hugs, friend!
I'm glad you had such a great time at home though I know that is always combined with the bitterness of leaving. Hopefully that one way ticket will be happening very very soon! And I agree with Kelly, time does NOT fly when you're not having fun.
Another good comparison for you is when you just start pushing when you are in labor and your midwife tells you that you are almost there. And two hours later you want to murder the woman. ha
I'm glad to hear you had a great trip home. I can't believe it's been that long since you moved to Charlotte - time really flies!
I'm excited for your time to be almost up! Glad you had a fun trip home, and yes that one-way ticket will come. Not soon enough I'm sure, but someday.
I think it's cool that you identify with Minneapolis so much as "home." I don't know if it's just because I'm ready for a change, location wise, but I don't live and breathe loving Eugene. Yes, I realize it's an amazing place for us to live (because I can do all of my activities outdoors all year round, the amazing trails, the mountains, the ocean, etc), but I don't feel in love with it. Probably because I'd like to try out Portland or Seattle. Maybe someday in the not too distant future...
Hi, Lisa, I'll answer your email shortly -- catching up. But good to hear about your trip home. It'll never be enough time for people like us. Whenever I visit Cleveland I am torn with family on both sides of town (like Mpls., a big area) and good friends. But you just figure it out.
Let the countdown begin.
It's interesting, I feel like you have been in NC for a long time. I am sure it feels much longer to you. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping you are sufficiently fueled for the last 6.2 miles, and that they go by faster than you expect. AND that when you break through the finish tape, you get to stop. You don't need to run an ultra!
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