Mind and Body: 4 Months Post-Partum

Happy Friday, everyone! Paul turns 4 months on Sunday which kind of boggles my mind. I'll be sharing a 4-month update early next week but today I thought I'd talk about how I am doing. I've seen other moms do post-partum updates so I thought I would try to write a couple during the first year. The first year of life will definitely a time of huge change for Paul, but it's also a time of change for the mom, too!

Mind:

- I was very fortunate and did not struggle with post-partum anxiety or depression. I was concerned that I might struggle with depression since I have struggled with depression in the past. I definitely felt some really strong emotions in the first weeks after Paul was born, but after that initial adjustment to the change in hormones, I started to feel more like myself, mentally.

- While I didn't struggle with anxiety, I have worried quite a bit about Paul. I think this is just part of being a mom, though. I worried the most in the first 2 months when Paul wasn't putting on weight as fast as he should. I think I worry less now that he's gaining weight steadily.

- I never really did get "bored" being home on maternity leave. The days are repetitive and it can start to feel like the movie "Ground Hog's Day," but I never really felt cooped up or bored like other moms have. I think part of that is because of all the doctor appointment Paul and I had during the first 2 months. I also think that taking the new mom class really helped, too, as that got us out of the house twice a week for 6 weeks starting when Paul was 2 weeks old.

Body:

- I've definitely really struggled with my body image since having Paul. The pregnancy weight has not come off as easily as I thought it would. I'm still carrying about 8-10 extra pounds. I think my body might be holding onto them in order to keep my breast milk supply up, though, so I'm trying not to stress about it too much until I am done pumping.

- It's been an adjustment to have a sizeable chest. Honestly, I HATE it. I much prefer being small-chested. I feel like I look so 'bulky' when I look in the mirror and I definitely have to think more about what I am wearing when I go for a fast walk or a walk with running intervals. I've been told that your chest gets smaller than it was when you got pregnant after you stop pumping/breast feeding and I am not at all sad about that!!

- Another thing I've struggled with is my complexion. It's as bad as it has ever been. I saw my dermatologist and he basically told me that I have no options until I stop breast feeding unless I want to go on a long-term amoxicillin prescription. I really don't want to go on a long-term antibiotic as it will be hard on Paul's tummy and overall I just don't like the idea of being on another prescription. So I guess I am going to sacrifice my skin quality until I'm done pumping. I am trying a Rodan and Fields line that has helped others with terrible acne and I'm hoping mine starts to improve soon. I haven't taken any photos with Paul besides our newborn photos and photos at his baptism because I HATE how I look in photos thanks to all the blemishes. :...(

- It's been great to be able to work out again, although the workouts look very different than what I did pre-pregnancy. Since I had a C-section I've been cautious as I know my body had a lot of healing to do. I've done some running intervals during stroller walks but have yet to go out for a run on my own. Besides stroller walks I have been doing the strength training workouts from the post-baby workout program I purchased. I'm starting to feel a little bored by them so might look for some more intense workouts that incorporate some bursts of cardio.

- I'm in the final month of taking daily blood thinner injections. I had to stay on blood thinner injections for 6 months since I have genetic mutation that makes me more prone to clots. I can't wait to be done with these injections. My stomach is so bruised and I have some small hematomas under my skin from injections that must have hit a blood vessel or something... My stomach looks pretty nasty.

- I'll end on a positive update - my RA is completely managed right now. This is such a relief after dealing with horrible flares during most of the pregnancy. I take an injection every other week and it's doing it's job!

So there you have it. I feel like this update wasn't the most 'positive' update, but it's true to how I am feeling. Everything I have gone through was definitely worth it and I will never forget how lucky we are to have a beautiful, healthy little boy.