TGIF

Hello, Friday. I'm greeting you with open arms as this felt like a long week! I found out this week that I will be working from home for the remainder of the year. I suspected that I would since I'm high risk due to RA but I thought maybe some of my colleagues would go back in the fall. I guess not! We have all gotten pretty good at collaborating while working from home but I sure miss being able to print things! We are not allowed to print anything due to information security rules at my firm. You WILL get in trouble if you try to print something. I'm not a huge printer but there are times when you really need to look at a document in print so that is one big downside of working from home! 

Here is how our week shaped up!

The book I'm reading is How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. I only read one chapter of this each night because it is not a book you speed read. He devotes each chapter to an issue, such as ascribing behaviors to a group instead of to the individual (Black people are angrier than white people, for example). He also talks about how he was racist up until his 20s when he realized the faults of his ways. It's an eye-opening read and is making me think about unconscious biases I carry and need to fix. To offset the heaviness of that book, I am also reading In Five years by Rebecca Serle which is a total page turner. If I wasn't disciplined about my bed time, I would stay up late to finish this book as it's tough to put down. It's about a woman who has a vibrant dream the night after getting engaged. In this dream, she is married to another man. She wakes up and it kind of shakes her and makes her question what her future holds.  

The high of my week was ... crickets ... There wasn't a real high this week. Some weeks just don't have highs and nothing stands out this week as being a high to be honest. 

The low of my week was continued heaviness and sadness about the state of my city/state and our country. My company hosted a really great call about 'being the change' and had various people of color, including our CEO, speak about their experiences with racism. At the end, they read a speech Bobby Kennedy gave when MLK was assassinated in 1968. It's a great speech. I think some things have changed since 1968 - but not enough change has occurred in the last 52 years. We can do better. We must do better. There was a message of hope and optimism during this conference call but considering how little we've accomplished since 1968, it's hard to share that optimism so I can't imagine how people of color are feeling right now. 

A recipe I made was chicken and vegetable kebabs. In the past I've followed a recipe and made a marinade for the chicken and veggies but I took the easy route this week and just used Italian salad dressing as the marinade. We paired this with baked potatoes. Picky Paul refused to eat any of this. Go figure. 

The best money spent was on books for Paul that feature people of color and are written by people of color. I started following @theconsciouskid this week - they have posted about the importance of discussing race with your child from a young age. Studies show that by 3 months, babies look at faces that match the race of their caregiver. By 2.5 years, most children use race to choose playmates. It's not a topic parents can ignore. So I ordered 4 books for Paul to give us a start on acknowledging race and making sure we raise a child who is antiracist. Luckily there are tons of resources out there to help you select books! Paul goes to Spanish Immersion daycare so all his providers are LatinX; we hope that is helping him be a more open-minded kids but I know we have work to do at home as well. 

My plans this weekend include a play date with our daycare friends on Saturday morning and going out to Phil's mom's for take out on Saturday after Paul's nap. We don't have any plans on Sunday but I am hoping to do some weeding at my garden and re-plant the things that haven't grown, like some lettuce and cucumbers.

Bonus Paul photos!

We are definitely getting our moneys worth out of this water table that we purchased last summer. We filled it up the last 2 nights when he got home from school. He loves playing and splashing in it so much. I think this will be a part of our post-school routine on days when it's nice and warm outside.

How was your week? What was your high of the week? 

What We Read in May

May was another slower month for me. I mean, I read 5 books, which is a decent amount but less than I usually read in a month. Work was super busy in May and the month sort of flew by us, even though some of the days felt long. I still try to fit 1 hour of reading in each night but I definitely am reading less than I did pre-COVID when I could read on my bus commutes. But I'm fitting in what I can!

I'm happy to say that I didn't read any duds in May!

Hits:

- Know My Name by Chanel Miller - This is my book club's July read. It is a very heavy read as it's written by the victim of sexual assault by a swimmer on Stanford's campus. She remained anonymous until the trial was over and then went public with her experience in the trial. It's very awful to read about how we treat victims - you can see why women are hesitant to report sexual assaults. In this case, 2 men on bikes came upon the crime and chase her assailant away and yet there was still a question of whether an assault had occurred. It was sickening to read about, but an important read.Her assailant ended up spending 3 months in jail for this crime - the judge felt that Brock Turner was young and had such promise so he gave him an incredibly light sentence. So infuriating.

- This Tender Land by William Kent Krueger - This will probably go in my top reads of 2020. It's set in Minnesota and follows 4 orphans who leave a school where they are being mistreated and float down a series of rivers to get to family in St. Louis. It's so beautifully written. I plan to read more by this author.

Paul's Reads:

I haven't been good at taking pictures of Paul lately but here a couple of our little reader. In these pictures, he's reading an Alpha Block Book and 10 Little Lady Bugs. He's really into Llama Llama books right now so I need to pick up more from that series. He still loves board books but is able to pay attention for longer, more involved stories which is fun for us as I'm kind of tired of his board books! I ordered some new Usbourne books last month and have been slowly taking out a book occasionally when I need something new to entertain him. We've been really happy with the Usbourne books we've ordered. We must have 15 of them by now!

Did you read anything good in May?

A Weekend of Fear and Anxiety

Well, my bad week did not get any better over the weekend. I'd say it got worse. If you watched the news at all over the weekend, I am sure you saw coverage of the destruction that occurred in Minneapolis. The worst night was Friday night when there were so many fires set to property across the twin cities. The hardest hit area is an area that is mostly owned by minority/immigrants and is one of our most diverse areas of the city. It is devastating to see the destruction to that area - entire blocks are basically gone. It's like looking at coverage of a war zone, honestly.

During the day, people would come out to help with the clean-up efforts and it reminded me why I love this city. However, when night fell, conditions would change and the destruction would start. After the destruction on Friday, Minneapolis residents basically felt like we were on our own. The police were so overwhelmed by the rioters that they couldn't respond to 911 calls in residential areas, and the rioting got scarily close to residential areas on Friday night. On Saturday, Phil and I had a serious conversation about whether we were safe in our home. We live a block south of the county attorney in charge of the case against George Floyd's murderer and there has been a lot of rioting in front of his house. There is a creek between our blocks so that made us feel a little bit more safe, but we had heard rumors that there were plans to set his house on fire. Ultimately, we decided to stay because we didn't really feel like we could go stay with Phil's mom now that we know Paul may have been exposed to COVID at daycare. We followed the instructions of bringing trash cans in our garage and removed anything from our yard that could be thrown. We are in the midst of rebuilding our deck, so had a huge pile of wood in our backyard but a neighbor brought a tarp over so we could cover it up.

I had friends in our neighborhood who chose to leave their homes on Saturday night to stay with family/friends outside of the city. I say that to explain that our fear wasn't an over reaction. Things were SO BAD HERE. We had the news on all day on Saturday so we could monitor the situation and were encouraged when we saw that the 8pm curfew was being more seriously enforced on Saturday night. The curfew started on Friday night, but they did allowed peaceful protesters to remain out past curfew but then that resulted in confusion over who was peaceful and who was out to destroy property. Our governor made it very clear during a news conference on Saturday that if you were out past curfew, the police and national guard would have to assume you were part of the problem. As a result, Saturday was a much more peaceful night with no fires/destruction.

So things seem to be calming a bit, but the situation is still precarious and the violence and looting is now happening across the country. I imagine that the economic hardship and social isolation are making things extra bad. My city has a lot of work to do to improve the racial inequality and our police force has a long, sad history of mistreating people of color. I think/hope that we will see real change. There is a lot of work to be done and I'm starting by educating myself on how to combat racism and detect any unconscious biases I might carry.

The weekend wasn't all bad. I had a great socially distanced coffee date with 3 of my college girlfriends on Saturday morning. Paul continues to be a source of laughter and lightness.

How are you doing? How are things in your community? 

A Week of Heaviness and Frustation

This week was kind of the equivalent of the book "Alexander's No Good Very Bad Day." I mean, there were some good things - gardening, tidying up the yard (I really enjoy seeing the fruits of my labor!), grilled meals, hugs from Paul, etc. But there was sort of a cloud of frustration/sadness that started on Tuesday. Here are some of things bringing us down this week.

- On Tuesday morning I got a text from a former coworker letting me know that a guy I used to work really closely with at a former job passed away suddenly over Memorial Day weekend. From what we know, it sounds like he was mowing his lawn and collapsed and died immediately - likely from a heart attack or aneurysm. He was one of the kindest people I ever worked with and is someone I would describe as a total teddy bear. I hadn't seen him in well over a year, but we were always planning to meet for lunch sometime. I think he was probably in his 50s and has a daughter who will be a senior this year. I'm just so sad for his family and wish I had a chance to see him one last time. He shares a birthday with our son Paul, so I will always think of him when we celebrate Paul's birthday on March 1st.

- Unless you are completely avoiding the news and social media, you have heard about the horrible excessive use of force which resulted in the death of yet another black man. It is very hard to watch that video and see how they treated him. There is no reason to kneel on someone's neck like that and to ignore his comments about his inability to breath. Police in other cities have spoken out and said that there is no reason to use excessive force like that and that it's not compliant with police training. When will things change? I'm so tired of seeing this news story over and over again. As a result of this death, there have been protests and there was looting and fires. I hate to see that kind of behavior because it doesn't really advance their cause and does more harm than good. Plus the area of the city where the fires/looting take place is an area with primarily immigrant- and minority-owned businesses. I just felt a huge sense heaviness and sadness as I watched the news coverage.

- We found out there were 2 cases of COVID among 2 teachers in another room at Paul's daycare. I hesitate to even share this for fear of comments someone might make about how they can't believe we are still sending Paul to daycare... But the fact of the matter is that it was always a matter of when daycare would have it's first case - not if (officials estimate that as many as 70% of us will get COVID eventually). I trust our daycare and feel they are making the right decisions. They are consulting with the Minnesota Department of Health and seeking their guidance on what steps to follow. We are continuing to send Paul to daycare because we honestly can not do our jobs with Paul at home. Our work is just too demanding and I need to be able to take conference calls throughout the day. I can't take calls with a 2yo by my side. And while our house is bigger, it is not set up for us to hire a nanny and have one or both of us work from home. There is not enough separation and Paul would insist on being by my side. So he will keep going to school and we will hope and pray that the cases do not spread among the kids.

- This last complaint is really petty, but our fridge/freezer has not been working properly for a good 2 months. We have been working with a service company and they sent technicians out 3 different times. The freezer would get super cold and then the fridge temp would rise. This past week has been the worst as our fridge temp has been around 50 most days, so we have to put all the perishable food in a cooler. We had spent $600 on repairs (the fridge is about 8 years old so should have more life in it) so it hasn't been a cheap endeavor. Phil had already had many calls with the company and when the technician was here on Wednesday, he said his manager said they had to wait to hear back from the manufacturer before they could discuss giving us a credit towards a new fridge. Phil demanded to talk to his supervisor (he was kind to the technician - we know he's just the messenger and has no authority) and luckily he got his manager to agree to give us $300 toward a new fridge. This has been going on for nearly 2 months now so I am so glad this fiasco is coming to an end. I really need a cold, reliable fridge/freezer. This whole fridge fiasco has not helped with Phil's frustration level with all the things that have gone wrong with our house since we closed last November... Good times. The new fridge comes tonight at 5:30. I. Can't. Wait.


So there you have it. It was not a great week. But one great things is that Paul's appetite/palette is gradually expanding! He's slowly eating more and more. This week, he discovered salsa! He's seen me eat it many times but this time, he decided to give it a try. He basically used the chip as a vessel for the salsa and licked it off. It was medium salsa so I am kind of impressed he liked it because it does a bit of a kick to it! BTW, that pile of boards in the background is the remnants of our deck. We (Phil and his cousin) are almost done taking the floor boards down and will start assembling the new deck in the new week or so. It's been a big project.

Tell me something happy or good that happened in your world this week! Or if you had a crappy week like me, you can vent!

TGIF!

Happy Long weekend to those in the US! We usually don't go up to the lake for Memorial Day weekend as my MIL's birthday usually falls over the weekend. So this weekend won't look all that different than usual for us. Here's how my week shaped up!

The book I'm reading is This Tender land by William Kent Krueger. I am loving this book! The author is from Minnesota and the book is set in Minnesota so that is kind of fun for me. The topic is heavy as it's about 4 orphans who escape an orphanage and float down the river together. The writing is beautiful and there's a good mix of plot and character development. I think it will be a 5-star read. 

The high of my week was celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary on Tuesday! I took the day off and Phil worked until 10:30. It was my first true day off since February so it was much-needed. We went to a local state park and did a hike that was a little over 5 miles. I use the word "hike" loosely because we do not have true hiking trails here in Minnesota since we don't have mountains in Minnesota. There were lots of rolling hills, though, so it was still a challenging "hike" at times. Everything was really green and beautiful and it felt so good to be out in the woods. There were very few people on the trails so it was the perfect social distancing activity! Phil and I both love being active and being outdoors so this was the perfect way to celebrate our anniversary.

The low of my week was getting 2 flares - first in the middle finger of my left hand, then the middle finger of my right hand. I'm trying to avoid going into clinics unless absolutely necessary so I've been treating this flare with an anti-inflammatory cream instead of getting a steroid injection like I normally would. The cream fixed the flare in the left hand so hopefully it does the trick on the right soon. I'm pretty much giving RA the middle finger this week! I've been stressed about work stuff and laying awake at night thinking about work so I am sure that was a contributing factor to getting this flare. Why is it so hard to shut your brain off in the middle of the night???

A recipe I made was Asian Shrimp Noodle Bowls. I add a colored pepper when making this to get some extra veggies in. We also use a pound of shrimp instead of 1/2 pound and I cut back on the tamari as a 1/2 c. is so much! It's a really good meal!

A show I watched was Top Chef. My friend Alli generously gave me her cable login so I could watch it online. Top Chef is probably one of my all-time favorite shows so it's been nice to watch it instead of having to wait over a year for episodes to post on Hulu. I haven't had cable since 2016 and the only time I miss having it is when Top Chef is on so it's nice to have this workaround!

The best money spent was on a latte at Starbucks. I had a painful project to work on Wednesday morning so decided to treat myself to a latte that morning so I could sip it while working on something I knew I wasn't going to enjoy!

My plans this weekend include buying plants/seeds for my garden and hanging pots for our front steps and then planting my garden. I could have done it sooner as it's been pretty warm lately but I wanted to wait until I was absolutely sure we were done with freezing overnight temps. I am planting less this year as keeping up with a garden, work and a toddler is a lot! But I'm going to plant some lettuce, tomatillos, lots of pepper plants, and some green beans. We are also going out to my MIL's on Saturday after Paul's nap to celebrate her birthday, assuming the weather forecast looks ok. We will mostly stay outside and keep apart from each other. We'll get take out for dinner and I think I will bring some sort of sweet treat out. 

Bonus Paul photos!

During bath time, he loves to line up his toys and brush their teeth while singing part of the song I sing to him when I brush his teeth. It's pretty darn cute!

We got this hand-me-down chair from friends of our and he loves sitting in it and rocking! He's also wearing a hand-me-down shirt from these same friends. We've been on the receiving end of lots of hand-me-downs from this family as Paul is 5 weeks younger than their youngest son, and is smaller, so he's never in the same size as their youngest. It's worked out really well!

How was your week? What was your high of the week? 

Filling My Cup

Saturday morning was one of the best mornings I've had since we started social distancing on March 13th. Why? Paul and I had social plans. Phil and I talked it over and now that Paul is back in daycare, we have decided to expand our 'circle' to include 2 families whose kids go to the same daycare as Paul. We figure they are all exposed to the same things, so we aren't really increasing our risk of getting/giving COVID-19. These decisions are not easy to make and we don't take them lightly, but we have to balance risk and reward. The risk of one of us giving or getting COVID to/from these families is small, but the benefit of some social time is honestly huge. Even though I am an introvert, I have struggled with the lack of contact with others. Yes, Zoom and FaceTime helps, but it's just not the same.

So on Saturday morning, Paul and I went over to our friends' house for a play date. On Friday night, I told Paul we were going to see his buddies, Gus and Leo, on Saturday morning. From the moment he woke up on Saturday, he asked to go over there over and over so clearly we were both excited! We got to our friend's house around 9 and I donned a mask to get coffee and treats for my friend and me. The coffee shop had a great set up with lots of markings for where to stand. They had the chip reader on a table 6'+ from the counter so everyone was keeping a safe distance away.

For our play date, we decided to stay outside/not enter the house. The boys played out front for awhile and then we went to the backyard of a family 2 houses down (who also go to our daycare) so the kids could play on their swing set. Paul was in HEAVEN. He loves swinging so much! Their swing set also had a ladder on either end. I never thought Paul would be able to or be brave enough to climb the ladder, but he figured it out! He could get to the top, I'd help him down, and he'd repeat the process!

The kids had a blast and us adults had a great time catching up, too - from a distance, of course. We were there for 2.5 hours and the time just flew by! It clearly wore Paul out because he napped for 2 hours and 15 minutes that afternoon which is the longest nap he has taken since December!!

And I felt lighter and happier than I have in 2 months. This COVID stuff has been so hard. I barely leave the house besides going for walks and that really starts to wear on a person after awhile. I fully believe in social distancing and doing our part to flatten the curve. And I think our family has done our best to hold up our end of the deal. But we can't live like this forever and need to find ways to take appropriate and measured risks.

Minnesota is starting phase 1 of our reopening today. In general, this won't change much for us. We'll still social distance, work from home, avoid groups of people, and stick to take-out even when restaurants re-open on June 1st. But I plan to continue to have these outdoor play dates with these 2 families from Paul's daycare since it fills my and Paul's cup tremendously!

How was your weekend? Is your state starting to re-open/relax the rules? How do you feel about it?

TGIF!

Happy Friday, everyone! The sun is shining and it will be in the low 70s today, so we are ending this week on a high note, weather-wise! Here's what's going on in our world!

The book I'm reading is The Other's Gold by Elizabeth Ames. This is a campus novel that I heard about on a podcast hosted by a bookstore owner in Georgia. We have really similar tastes so I usually try to read the books she really likes. It's pretty good so far but some of the bad decisions the characters are making make me squirm a bit!

The high of my week was having a call at work go really well. I was part of a team that pitched a huge proposal. We had very little time to pull a group together but we were told that we "killed it" so that was great to hear. I work in financial services and COVID has definitely hit us as the values of stocks and bonds have declined and some people have freaked out and moved to cash, so we really need to bring in some new accounts! 

The low of my week was also work stuff. My company announced last Friday that they were offering a "Voluntary Separation Agreement" which is basically a much more generous severance package than usual. I guess due to discrimination/HR reasons, they had to offer it to 75% of the company. The had told us they needed to cut $700 million in costs so I guess they want to see who will opt out of their job so they won't have to do layoffs or will do less layoffs? None of this is confidential as it hit the industry news providers. I'm not taking it because I'm too young to retire (ha - I'm 39!), I like my job, I like my team, and I would NOT want to look for a job in this economy... But I know people are considering it so I've worried about what would happen if people on my team took the package. We are already so thinly staffed (we've been through 2 rounds of cost cuts in the last several years and our business has grown - so less people doing more work). It's out of my control, but it's been weighing on me.

A recipe I made was one of our favorites - pasta with sausage and peppers. We make a couple of modifications - I use chicken sausage that is already fully cooked - I slice it and just brown it for a bit. And we skip the step of adding the provolone on top at the end because it is sooo hard to clean the pan afterwards. Instead we just put some parm on when dishing it up. Paul likes this, except he won't eat the sausage and peppers... go figure. I try to sneak some small peppers into his plate but he detects them and spits them out. 

A show we watched was Brooklyn 9-9. We are still really enjoying this show. It's light and funny which is exactly what I need right now! We had tried to watch a documentary on Waco but I just couldn't handle a heavy/dark topic like that. 

The best money spent was on a splash pad toy for our backyard. It's not warm enough to use this year, but I wanted to buy it before it went out of stock because I think everyone and their mom is going to be buying things like this since pools, parks, etc, are closed for the summer (at least they are here in Minnesota). I think/hope Paul will like it as he loves the water!

My plans this weekend include getting together for an outdoor play date with my friend Courtney. Our kids go to the same daycare so we figure they are exposed to the same stuff. Courtney and I will social distance so I feel like this is a safe gathering. I know some might disagree, but I just really need some social plans for Paul on the weekend... without the option of going to the park, weekends can get a little bit long! Phil's cousin (he's a handyman) came over recently and looked at our deck and determined that we need to replace all the floorboards/railings. We thought we could pressure wash it and replace the problematic boards, but too much of it is rotted. I don't know what the previous owners did - I think a deck should last longer than this one has (our house was renovated in 2005). So Phil and his cousin are going to get started on that project on Saturday. It's been one thing after another since we bought this house so Phil is not loving our house... So yah. Good times. Hopefully things slow down after we get through this latest project. 

Bonus photos!

I only took one photo of Paul this week. I've barely been taking any photos of him lately so I need to work on that... But I snapped this picture to send to the grandmas when he was fresh out of the bath. You can see how long his hair is getting!

How was your week? Did you cook anything delicious?