This week, to keep my worrying at bay, I am focusing on this graphic. I actually printed it out to hang at my desk as a visual reminder...
At the end of the day, there is only so much that I have control over - and that is what I should be focusing on.
I can worry about how decisions made at work will impact my job - but it makes more sense to focus on doing the best job I can so that I am respected and viewed as a valuable team member.
I can worry about medical bills that keep rolling in and how this will impact my financial goals for the year - or I can pay them and accept that my sinus surgery was an investment in my health.
I can worry about my dad's health prognosis and whether they truly got all of the cancer or I can accept the fact that he's in the hands of competent medical professionals who know what they are doing.
I can worry about not passing the CFA or I can work as hard as I can to make sure I am able to pass.
Just as happiness is a choice, so is the decision to not worry. Of course, anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't have this all figured out. However, I think maybe by writing this out, I will internalize some of this and worry less as a result. Worrying certainly does not have a positive impact on my mood/level of happiness, nor is it a productive use of time, so here's hoping that by focusing on that visual, and thinking about what matters and is in my control, I can worry a little less.
Would you consider yourself a worrier?
22 comments:
It's easy to write it out. You are right, you have the choice of not worrying. Yet again, those worries keep wanting to creep back in, in sneaky ways!!!
Sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it!!! The things you listed to worry about are legitimate, and very big things. The decision not to worry and instead focus on the positive will help you feel more positive about life.
One of my favorite quotes is by Martin Luther "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
HUGS!!! Happy Monday!!!
LOVE this graphic! I can be a huge worrier at time and I have to keep reminding myself that I can only control myself and my reactions (even though it's hard sometimes!).
Oh honey, I wish there was something I could do make you not worry! Alas, I am also a worrier by nature so I know it's not as easy as just telling yourself "don't worry." I think the visual is a really good reminder, and I sure hope it helps!
I am definitely a worrier as well and have to remind myself of these types of things as well. There's only so much I can control and spending energy on those I can't control doesn't do any good!
I gave Suzanne a card when she was in high school with a quote something like the following:
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength."
I think she might have it framed, I'm not sure.
If it means anything, I understand.
Yes, huge worrier over here too. And I usually worry so much about things I can't control or come up with things to worry about that aren't even (Currently) an issue. It's a drain on my energy and my personality, this I know but it's hard to stop sometimes. I have been trying really, really hard not to worry about things that I know I can't control and instead focus only on the actions I can take but it's taking some time and getting used to. Working on it though!
Love that graphic.
This post is SO me, it's crazy. I was literally sitting here worrying about my upcoming exams this week when I read this. I know I can't control every little detail, but I sincerely wish I could. Even when I only have a few things to focus on, I become a huge ball of fiery stress. I need something to calm my nerves right about now- loving that image you posted. Thanks for sharing!
I'm pretty laid back, not much of a worrier at all. But if you can take some action to shift an outcome in the direction you want (like studying for the cfa) do that and that's all you can do. Keep your chin up, eventually your dad will get better and all of your medical bills will get paid. Nothing to worry about there.
i am not a worrier. my philosophy is that if i worried about everything i would never DO anything.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and some real stress putting pressure on you, Lisa. No wonder you're feeling this way, it's my tendency when I'm stressed too <3
If you're having trouble breaking out of those worries, these techniques on stopping reoccurring worried thoughts are great tips that can help let you move on to focusing on other things and keeping your worries in proportion to the stress. I hope it helps! <3
I'm so sorry that you've been stressed out and worrying so much lately.
I am guilty of being a worrier as well. What I've learned is that worrying is (wasteful) negative energy and it accomplishes nothing.
However, no being is perfect -- and it can be very difficult to completely eliminate. So we have to try our best!
Hang in there -- keep praying, keep your head up, and don't forget all the people who love & support you! We always have open ears for you to vent. Sometimes venting prevents hours of worrying!
I think this is a good exercise for you - taking all this worry and pulling out the things you can control. I will say, though, that there is a certain amount of worrying that is healthy. It's what makes you study every weekend. It's what makes you wonder whether the job is still a good fit for you. It's what makes you question whether you agree with the feedback your father is getting from his medical team. And sometimes, not always, but sometimes you realize you need to act on something that just doesn't feel right. Without worry, you might miss one of those important details. But, again, I'm talking a healthy dose of worry, not excessive worry, so you do what you need to do to bring your worry into that healthy range. =)
I am definitely (!) a worrier and sometimes I wish I could focus more on the things I can control.
I think Nilsa is right though - there is a healthy range of worry, which keeps you alert and focused on important signs that tell you that you need to act on something.
I am glad you are trying to change your worry into positive thoughts.
Omg yes yes yes, I am a worrier! I have become better over the last year or so but I would be a very rich person if I had a dollar for every time my mom said to me "why are you worried so much about something that hasn't even happened yet?"
This actually used to cause big problems in mine and Eric's relationship because I would pick fights over him NOT doing something that he was supposed to do at a certain time that hadn't even happened yet because I was so sure he was not going to do it - how ridiculous is that??
Anyways, when I start to get really mad about something I just try to say "it's out of your control" OR alternatively "it's already happened so there's nothing you can do now". For example yesterday when my brother locked our keys in the car and we were stuck up at the ski hill for 3 hours longer than we should have been I wanted to FREAK OUT on him but I just kept thinking "it happened, we can't go back and change what happened so there is no point getting mad about it" and that seemed to help!
Hope you are able to worry less this week! XO
It's hard to separate things that you can't and can do something about! I think that it seems easy to say, but its easier said than done! But I think you are on the right track. You realize there is nothing you can do about your Dad or your medical bills, but there IS something you can do about studying. So...I think you are one step farther and closer to less worry, hopefully!
I am not really a worrier. I AM a control freak though, so I sometimes "worry" that someone else is not doing all they can, doing it right or making the right decision so I sometimes feel like I have to help or step in...which can get overwhelming. So I guess that's kind of like being a worrier?
I am such a worry wart but I really have worked at leaving work at work so I don't worry about it at home. Plus running always helps after a stressful day!
Really great post Lisa, and very timely for me because if you couldn't tell by most post last night I have been worrying way too much about things I can't control and therefore not getting what I can control done!
I hope your post helps you get through this week a little better! I love that little diagram- I may have to post this by my desk as well!
I am a worrier, but I am getting a lot better at following that venn diagram and learning that I cannot control everything, so I shouldn't worry about everything.
I sometimes feel worrier should be my middle name. I like that graph and you're right there are just some things in life that are out of our control. What matters is at the end day can we say that we smiled, laughed, and know that we are thought of.
Love the ven diagram and love "just as happiness is a choice, so is the decision to not worry."
I am definitely a worrier...worrying about everything and anything. Sometimes I just need to remember that things will happen and no matter how much I worry about them, they will still happen. I can then just figure out how to make it work out for me :)
Hopefully things start settling down so you can stop worrying so much :)
I am a huge worrywart. So much so that I start worrying when I don't have anything to worry about! It's something I'm constantly trying to work with and always telling myself, "If what you're worrying about DOES happen? It's not the end of the world." And I just try to remember I can solve nothing by worrying.
Hugs. Just know you are not alone in this. I think it's something we all struggle with.
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