What I Wear When I Travel for Work

I’ve been meaning to do a post about what I wear when I travel for work. I travel quite often these days (typical twice/month, sometimes three times) so I have gotten good at packing. I nearly exclusively wear dresses because I feel most confident in dresses and they take up less space than pants, a top, and a jacket would. I do not own business suits anymore because I hate how I feel in them! 

I should preface this post by saying that I am not super into fashion (for fashionable content, see Lag Liv’s blog! She works with a stylist and has a very large, beautiful wardrobe.) I’m pragmatic about dressing - I want something comfy that won’t wrinkle that looks professional and ‘put together’. So most of these outfits are made of a fabric that does not wrinkle and feels good on my body. I’m also a minimalist when it comes to my wardrobe. I don’t have a capsule wardrobe but my wardrobe is capsule-adjacent.

For this trip, I flew to Charlottte for some client events. I had 2 client dinner reception events and I moderated 2 panels (and also did 32 zooms that week as it was a week that sales was encouraged to book lots of meetings). 

Here is what I wore that week with pretty crappy bathroom selfies which is the best I could do.

Night #1: client dinner reception 

I flew in, checked into my hotel, and quickly freshened up to meet 2 portfolio managers for a drink/chat before the client event started. I wore a striped dress from Boden. I have this dress in 4 colors (this striped version, black, navy, red). When I find something I like, I tend to buy it in multiple colors. I love that this dress has pockets!

Day #2: moderate panel + lots of zooms

I moderated a panel with the portfolio managers fairly early in the day and then had a day of solid zooms. I wore a dress I bought at a boutique in a suburb of Minneapolis last summer. I loved this dress so much that I ordered 2 more this summer (brand is Gretchen Scott). The fabric is wrinkle-proof which is key for travel. This is my favorite of the 3 dresses - I think it’s the most flattering since the pattern is a darker color. I didn’t have any post-work client commitments so I went out for dinner with one of the portfolio managers that was on the panel (she lives in Chicago, the other PM is Charlotte-based). 

Day #3: lots of zooms + another client dinner reception

Today’s dress is the same as yesterday’s, but a different pattern. This dress is my least favorite of the 3 as I don’t wear a lot of pink but I still like the dress. 

Day #4: moderate a panel, do lots of zooms, fly home in the afternoon 

Finally, the last day of this intense trip. This dress is the same brand as the other 2 but has a different neckline + pockets! 

I look so tired in this photo because I feel so tired. If I zoomed in more, you’d see circles and bags under my eyes. This trip was intense with all the meetings and client interaction! It was TOO MUCH. I am glad I am unlikely to have a trip like this again. It was the combo of in-person client interactions plus so many zooms that really pushed me over the edge into complete exhaustion. 

Shoes and accessories: I wore the same navy blue Rothy’s each day (I typically pack one pair of work shoes + running shoes for workouts). Since getting diagnosed with RA, I stopped wearing heels for the most part as I want to be extra kind to my joints.

The necklines of these dresses had enough going on so I did not wear a necklace. If I had worn a solid pattern version of the first dress, I would have added a necklace but it looked too busy when I tried a necklace with the striped pattern. A necklace is the only accessory I add to an outfit as I am not an earrings person (and wish I had never gotten my ears pierced!). Most earrings bother my ears so that is why I don’t wear them. 

***

And there you have it! These are the kinds of dresses I wear during the warm weather months. Now that it’s getting colder, I shift to wearing dresses + tights. I can wear tights with the last dress but the other 3 dresses will be moved to the ‘summer’ section of my wardrobe and will only be worn if I travel somewhere warm like FL or CA, etc. 

What kinds of outfits do you feel best in? How do you dress for work? The outfits above are what I wear when I go to the office, too. 

Traveling While Ill

Having to cancel my trip to NYC last week has really made me think about how one positive outcome from the pandemic is that we typically do not travel or (if possible) go into the office when we were sick. Prior to covid, I would have had to be REALLY sick, like have a high fever, to not go into work. Working from home was not widely accepted back then so you came to work, even if that meant spreading germs to your co-workers. These days, I stay home if I am sick because what is the benefit of being in the office if I am going to risk spreading my germs?

It made me think of a series of conferences that I spoke at in the fall of 2012. I had to present at 3 different bank conferences in the state of Pennsylvania. I think I was healthy for the first one, but had gotten sick by the time the 2nd one rolled around. But I still went because what else was I going to do? I remember I was absolutely miserable. To prepare for the conference and create my presentation, I had to read long and detailed laws on how banks had to change the way they funded themselves. That is not a typical thing that I present on in my job, but it's what they wanted us to talk about. So that meant that it was not easy to transfer that knowledge to someone else. 

So I slogged through a 1.5 hour presentation (which is also longer than typical for me - usually I present for a max of 50 minutes!). After the conference, I remember that one of the conference organizers reached out a couple of days later to see if I was doing ok because it was clear I was not well. I was losing my voice and coughing a ton. I was supposed to present at one more conference, and my health had declined further in the days leading up to the conference. I had a fever and just felt like death. I remember talking to my mom on the phone about how ill I was and she flat out told me I could not do this business trip. I tried to argue and say I could. But sometimes, even when you are 31 years old, you need your mom to tell you what to do. So I contacted my boss, told him I could not do this final conference, and wrote up detailed notes for a colleague so he could present my section. 

I went back and read some post from that time period. Like this post titled, I Survived. You guys, I was on 18 flights in 7 weeks! Back then I was traveling a ton for work. Besides all that work travel, I was in a wedding in St. Louis and ran a marathon in Des Moines. What in the actual world! It's kind of eerie to read that "I survived" post because I mention that I was asked to move to Charlotte on a trip that month for the 3rd time that year. Little did I know I'd find out 3 months later that I would have to move to Charlotte to keep my job... (It's also funny to read this post about getting back to dating - which I posted the week I went on my first (blind) date with Phil! Sometimes I wonder why I keep blogging when so many of my former blogging friends have stopped, but when I read old posts like these, it reminds me that my older self will appreciate all the things my current self is capturing on my blog.)

It's also worth noting that I can vividly recall getting what I now know was my first RA flare in November - so a month after I was super sick, traveling all over the place, and running a ton in preparation for a marathon. I know the flare happened in November because I traveled the day of the 2012 election. I remember voting that morning, getting on a flight, talking to Phil (who I had been dating for about a month at that point) about the election results that night in my hotel and then waking up the following morning with a hand that was so swollen and painful. I wouldn't find out I had rheumatoid arthritis until the following summer when I kept getting all these flares and was in so much pain that I felt like a decrepit octogenarian when I got out of bed each morning, couldn't get my suitcase in/out of over head bins, couldn't carry my suitcase upstairs at my parents, etc. Is it a coincidence that I started to see signs of RA shortly after putting my body through so much in a short period of time? Stress and autoimmune disorders are very closely linked. No one knows for sure why autoimmune diseases can lurk in your body and then rear their ugly head all of a sudden, but my rheumatologist thinks being under major stress is a significant factor in when your disease presents itself. 

But I'm getting off track here! I would not want to go through another pandemic like we experienced, but at least it taught adults that you DON'T GO TO WORK OR TRAVEL WHEN ILL. I got zero push-back when I canceled my trip. People pretty much said - thank you for not coming, please take care of yourself, we will see you next month. 

But why did it take a pandemic for our thoughts about working and traveling while ill to change? It's common sense. Why, as adults, were we going about our days even when we are very ill - particularly those of us who can do our jobs from home? Perhaps this is not the case in every workplace, but it was certainly the case in my industry where people are high strung performers and the expectations placed on you are high. It was almost a badge of honor to come to work when you felt awful. Like, 'look at me and how hard I am working and how dedicated I am since I am coming in even though I look like death warmed over!' 

What do you think? Has your perspective on working or traveling while ill changed? 

Chicago Trip + Weekend Recap

I'm back from my work trip to Chicago. It was a fast and furious trip. I landed around 8:30 am on Thursday, was in the office by 9:45, and had a presentation to our sales group at 10:15. That was a speedy turnaround for me but the presentation went well. I'm glad it was an informal, conversational update. I had 2 more breakout sessions with sales that day, and started to lose my voice during the 1st breakout. Luckily I brought cough drops. I have a pesky head cold/allergies (not Covid - I've tested myself 4 times in the last week) and with all the client calls I did last week and how much I had to project my voice during my sales presentation, my voice was not happy! After work, I had a happy hour with my boss and some colleagues and then a dinner with 3 other coworkers in the Buck Town area. My boss told me not to take the L to Buck Town, but when I tried to get an uber, it was going to be $70!! And I think Buck town is probably 2-3 miles at most from the loop area of Chicago. Isn't that insane? It was raining but come on! So I paid $3 for a ride on the L which felt very safe. The dinner with colleagues was fine but when they ordered another round of drinks at 9, I bowed out since I had been up since 4:30. Plus my voice was so hoarse so talking was not fun. They all understood that I needed sleep! I really wanted to run along the river/lake on Friday morning but it was 40 and pouring rain. And I could not motivate myself to do a strength training workout as I was just so dang tired from the previous day.

My outfit for Thursday. I got this dress at a local consignment shop for $9!! I like that it has some details along the neckline so I didn't have to wear a necklace.

Friday was another busy day in the office with more client meetings over zoom. The market volatility has made me extra extra busy at work. The reason I came to Chicago was for an in-person client meeting. It was supposed to start at 4, but one person was running behind so we didn't get started until 5! I had to leave at 5:45 to get to the airport but another person was presenting so she took over when I left. There was also a dinner at 7 that I bowed out of as I try not to be gone over the weekend. The clients understood why I couldn't stay when I mentioned I have young kids. My trip home went really smoothly thank goodness. It was the last flight to Minneapolis so I was relieved when we left on time. We actually landed early and I was home by 10:15! 

The weekend was a busy one. My parents were in town for my nephew's football game and a family get together with my mom's siblings, so they stuck around and came over for brunch on Saturday morning. My mom is very crafty so I tasked her with making pillows for our window seat to make it more cozy. She did an awesome job. I gave her total leeway in picking out fabric, etc, as that is not my forte as a left-brained finance person!

We went out to brunch at a restaurant 2 blocks away. The boys did really well - you never know how a meal out with a 4.5 and almost 2 year old will go. Some of my mom's siblings were getting together for lunch at my cousin's house so after breakfast we headed to her house. The boys got to see their older cousin, Matt, and they played with my cousin's kids who are each 6 months older than my boys. They really loved playing with new-to-them toys! I barely got to talk to my aunts and uncles since I was keeping an eye on the kids but it was nice to say hi, give everyone hugs, and introduce them to Will. 

Phil got groceries while we were at my cousin's and then after naptime, he met up with some friends to golf 18 holes. For Father's Day and his birthday, I gave him the gift of time and told him to golf on a weekend so he finally cashed one of those "gifts of time" in. 

After quiet time on Saturday, the boys and I walked/scooted up to the library. They changed our their featured toy area - it's camping themed. Both boys had fun playing with the toys and Paul made a little friend. 

On Sunday morning I ran with my neighbor and then the boys and I headed to the farmer's market and park while Phil worked on some house projects. 

Their weekly donut fix!

Playing on the train. Will looks like a fisherman with his bucket hat and rain jacket.

That afternoon, Phil took Paul out to his mom's as they needed to bring our cat back for a routine vet appointment today (she mostly lives with my MIL these days as my MIL loves her company and Oscar doesn't love kids). Will and I stayed home. After his (short) nap, we went for a walk around the local lake. I ran around the lake that morning, so that means I logged 8 miles of running and walking... my total steps for the day were 27k! But when it's so nice out, I felt I had to take advantage of the weather! 

Beautiful views along the lake which was like glass!

After our long walk, Will and I hung out on the block. He played with his strider bike for a bit and then my neighbor brought over a stroller for him to play with that her kids have outgrown. 

Then it was dinner, bath, and bedtime and I caught half of the first episode of the Great British Baking Show before Phil and Paul got home around 7:30. I did Paul's bedtime and Phil and I watched an episode of season 2 of Only Murders in the Building.

And that was a wrap. It was a BUSY weekend on the tails of a BUSY week. I am hoping work slows down a bit this week, but clients/financial advisors are getting their 3rd quarter statements and nothing did well in the third quarter so I doubt the client calls will slow down... 

How was your weekend? 

Back From Charlotte

I had a good 3-day work trip to Charlotte. My flights all went smoothly so maybe the staffing challenges are improving in the airline industry? Overall the trip went really well. I spent a lot of time meeting new sales people and meeting portfolio management/research colleagues in person that I had only met over zoom. There were hours-long chunks of time that I was walking around and talking to people. This introvert was very happy to return to my quiet hotel room at the end of the day!

I also fit in a dinner with a friend that I made when I worked in Charlotte in 2013-2014. I was hoping to see another friend but I had an awful headache so needed an early night. And then I had a quick catch up with another friend who works for the same company. It was nice to catch up with some friends during this trip! That doesn't always work out when I am traveling for work so I am glad it did this time! 

I also managed to workout both mornings! I knew it would be dark when I was working out so I opted to bring some strength training workouts with me instead of running. The gym had treadmills, but I hate running on the dreadmill so much! I brought along 2 workouts from programs I did many years ago. I have all the workouts from those programs in a binder organized by the type of workout (HIIT, full body, arms, legs, cardio) so I picked a few strength training workouts, one of which I could do in my hotel room. I have barely done any strength training this summer and that was evident when I did these workouts. I need to get back into a balance of running and strength training. I will look and feel better when I combine strength training and running!

This is the leg workout I did the first morning which had me dripping with sweat! The wall sits were the hardest part of the workout!

I definitely missed Phil and the kids during this trip, though. 3 days is kind of the max I can be away at this stage of life. I know other moms have to travel for longer stretches but I am going to try to cap my trips at 3 days and ideally only once a month although I'm traveling twice in October. Paul had his first night of soccer on Wednesday night and apparently it was a sh*t show because parent involvement was required. Phil obviously had both boys so it was hard to help with the soccer drills and manage a 21-month old... But it's the only soccer class I'll miss and going forward we can divide and conquer - I'll manage Will and Phil can help with the soccer class. 

The upcoming weekend is quiet without much scheduled which is good after a hectic week. We'll have our usual library and gymnastics combo on Saturday and then Phil and Paul will go out to Phil's mom's house. I'm sure we'll visit several parks and I'm hoping to run with my neighbor but she's on call so that might be tricky to do. I also encouraged Phil to go to the driving range or golf 9 holes on Sunday so he can get some time away to recharge his battery.  

How was your week?

Back from DC

I had a fast and furious, but great trip to DC! I was barely there for 24 hours. In hindsight, had I known other sales people were going to be there, I would have flown out on Tuesday morning so I could get more time with them and hear some of the other content at the symposium.

My travels all went smoothly, though. My return flight was delayed by about an hour, so I landed after 9pm which makes for a long day, but overall it was a smooth trip! And I lucked out and had an empty middle seat between me and the person by the window on both flights! Woo hoo!

I got to my hotel around 6pm on Tuesday night. I stayed in a Hilton that was right off the Mall so a great location! I walked down to a waterfront area and had dinner at great Mexican restaurant. I enjoyed some ceviche for my meal and a margarita! Yum!

I didn't have to present until around 10 on Wednesday, so I had plenty of time for a run on Wednesday morning. I ran about 3.5 miles and enjoyed seeing some of the monuments! DC is so pretty. 

Washington Monument

Lincoln Memorial

WWII Memorial

After my run I quickly got ready. Here I am before leaving for the other hotel where the conference was held. I look a little red in the face since it was quite humid on my run - although not all that different from the humidity we've had here in MN lately. For this presentation, I opted to wear a classic black dress with a statement necklace. I am SO DONE with business suits so never wear them anymore and when I work with a wardrobe consultant in the future, one thing I want to focus on is getting more work/presentation-appropriate dresses. I think business suits are not flattering and are very uncomfortable. I love this dress I am wearing so much. It's machine washable and great for travel as it does not wrinkle. I got it over 10 years ago at Ann Taylor and wish I had it in like 3 colors!

I presented at Women's Symposium that was hosted by Merrill Lynch for its female financial advisors. How pretty was this backdrop with their logo? 

I did 2 back-to-back breakout sessions on navigating the fixed income markets and they went really well. I practiced for hours and all that work paid off. I only had about 35 minutes for each breakout which is not much time when there is a lot of content to cover, but that's why I had to practice so much! I got lots of questions and people stayed behind after each session to ask more questions and to get the tickers/account numbers for some of our products so that is a good sign. One of my sales colleagues sent a really nice note to my boss saying I did a great job. It feels braggy to share that, but I really appreciate that she provided feedback on me. There was a Merrill Lynch person in my 2nd breakout who stayed behind and said she wants to partner with us to build a lunch and learn campaign for their advisors using our content so that was cool to hear. So I think I can and likely will be traveling more going forward. But I need to figure out how much I would be comfortable with. I'm thinking a max of once/month and ideally no more than 2 nights away from Phil and the kids. We'll see how it all shakes out, though. 

I got back to our house around 9:45 last night so it was a long, but good day. Both boys were excited to see me this morning - and Phil was very happy to see me when I got home last night! It feels good to be missed!

Now I have another somewhat busy weekend on deck. On Saturday night, I'm going to the Brandi Carlile concert! It's not like me to go to 2 concerts 2 weekends in a row, but I've been planning on going to this Brandi concert since last fall! She is my all-time favorite artist and I think I've seen her 7+ times? I'm going with 3 good friends! Then on Sunday a friend from Charlotte (hi Lori!) that I met through blogging 10+ years ago is going to spend the night with us at the tail end of her trip with some other women. So I'll get to spend Sunday afternoon/Monday morning with her! We saw her on our babymoon trip to Asheville in 2017 as we had dinner with her the night before we flew back to Minneapolis, but this will be her first time meeting our kids. She ADORES kids so I know she's excited to see them, too. 

The last several weeks have been a bit stressful and hectic, so I am very much looking forward to a quieter start to the month of August!

I was on a podcast!

I've mentioned before that I have been a long-time listener of Best of Both Worlds (BOBW), hosted by Laura Vanderkam and Sarah Hart-Unger. I've actually listened to every podcast, which is pretty rare for me! The podcast is about being a working parents getting the most out of work and family/fun time. 

I was a guest on the podcast this week (click here to listen)! I never thought I'd be a guest on a podcast, especially one that is as popular as BOBW. But i commented this spring and said I'd be happy to share my experience of returning to work if they thought it might be helpful for other listeners - and I was thrilled when Laura reached out to schedule a time to talk. 

I was pretty open about my struggles with my return to work after I had Paul, so long-time readers of this blog might recall that season of my life. The cliff notes version is that I had a surprisingly hard time returning to work after having Paul. I loved my career before having Paul, but found that I really missed him when I returned to work. I debated whether I was meant to be a working mom but those feelings eventually improved/dissipated around when Paul turned 10 months. Now I can say with certainty that I am meant to be a working mom so I am glad I didn't make any rash decisions. 

I think I would have benefited from hearing from a woman who went through something similar when I was struggling, so hopefully someone else will benefit from hearing about my experience. I didn't think I would be able to listen to the episode because I loathe the sound of my voice, but I managed to listen and think it went pretty well overall! I've read several of Laura's books so it was really cool to have a chance to talk to her!

If you listen, let me know what you think! 

First Work Trip in Ages

I had my first work trip in ages this past weekend. I'm trying to remember when I last traveled for work for a client visit and I can't remember... I think it was before I had Paul! Before I had kids, I had asked my manager if I could limit/avoid travel for work when I became a parent and that manager was on board with that. I have a different manager now, but he also respects that I prefer to not travel for work. I know many moms do this either because they have to or they enjoy it! I just don't so I am glad I can usually avoid it. But in this case, I absolutely could not avoid this trip. We just took over the management of a pool of assets for a university foundation and were told up front that we needed to attend the board meeting twice a year and that they valued having a diverse team working on their account (i.e. not a bunch of guys). So I got put on the account and knew I'd need to travel for these board meetings. 

Overall, it went well. I wish I had gotten my Evusheld injections (prophylactic antibody injection that I qualified for since I'm immune-compromised) further ahead of the trip but hopefully they provided some level of extra protection? I was told I'd be fully protected in 14 days, and I got my shots on Tuesday of this past week. I wore a mask in the airport and on the flight and was definitely in the minority. Interestingly, when Phil went grocery shopping on Sunday, he said about 2/3 of people were wearing masks. Anecdotally, I've heard about more people getting covid lately so it feels like we may be in the build-up to another wave? Le sigh. 

The presentation itself went well, though. We took over the portfolio at the start of a tough market. But they seemed to understand that there is no magic investment that will perform well when everything is down (stocks and bonds have both had rough starts to the year). 

Both of my flights were delayed - it seems like on-time flights are an anomaly these days! But the delays weren't too terrible. I got home around 7pm on Saturday. Phil kept Will up so I could do bedtime, and I did Paul's bedtime as well. It was good to get some time with both boys after not seeing them for almost 2 days. On Sunday morning I was getting ready to take Will to swimming lessons. When I put my shoes on, Will started to cry and kind of flopped forward dramatically onto the floor - it seemed like he thought I was leaving again and was upset, so even though he's not quite 18 months, he seemed to notice I was not around! But I think having to travel over a weekend is harder on everyone since that is normally when I get the most quality time with the boys. Being gone on week nights is less of a big deal. I'm glad I'll only have to do this weekend meeting once a year - the other meeting is on a Friday - and there is talk of us taking turns attending these meetings. 

I got lots of time with the boys on Sunday, though. As I mentioned above, I took Will to swimming lessons on Sunday morning. His instructor said he can register for the next level for the summer session since he's done so well. Phil headed to his mom's around lunchtime to help with some things so I got my chance to do some solo parenting. Luckily Will took a nice long 2.5 hour nap. Paul played on his iPad in his room during quiet time and I napped, too! After naptime, we went on a little adventure. I had gotten a voucher to go to the Crayola Experience at the Mall of America to pick out 32 crayons. Crayons are pretty cheap so it wasn't worth a lot monetarily, but Paul is so into coloring and crayons so I knew he'd enjoy filling a box of crayons. 

It's a bit of a hassle to get to the mall but it was worth the effort. This was Paul's first time in a mall - he thought it was very cool. It's one of the biggest malls in the US and has a big Nickelodeon-themed amusement park in the middle so it's not your typical mall. He's on the young side for the amusement park but I told him we'd come back some day when he's older. 

Will was a great little side kick and was happy to hang in the stroller and take everything in!

As soon as we got home, Paul broke out the crayons and got to work coloring. I'm so glad he's interested in coloring! It's nice to have an activity that will entertain him for a solid block of time! 

Phil got home shortly after we did. I made soup in the instant pot with the bone from our Easter ham. It's another cold week here so it's sadly still soup season - we eat soup year-round but it tastes especially good on a cold day!

Will continued to be a little more cuddly than usual but I soaked up his snuggly mood. 

How was your weekend? Is it nice where you are or still unseasonably cold? I ran this morning - it was about 32F with a mist, but felt like 22F with the wind. Where are you spring?

Back To The Office: The First 6 Weeks

First, the details: This is the 6th week since my company re-opened our offices and required employees to return. All in all, they have handled it as well as they could, I think. In November, they announced that vaccines would be required and they gave very few exemptions. I think something like 97% of the staff has been vaccinated. Originally we were supposed to return to the office in early January, but it got pushed back to the week of March 7th since infection levels were high thanks to omicron. We are encouraged to go into the office 3 days/week and my boss has asked that we come in Tuesday-Thursday. I think it makes sense to target being in on certain days. Otherwise what is the point of going into the office if you don't see other people that you work with! There is much flexibility, though, and no one is monitoring when you come in. My boss treats us like adults and trusts that we are coming in around 3 days/week.

In order to go into the office, you have to go into an ap and certify that you are healthy, don't have any of the listed symptoms and have had a negative covid test in the last 7 days. Everyone coming into the office tests themselves with an antigen test or with a test that is provided by the company that supposedly provides PCR-like accuracy at home. If you watched the Superbowl, you likely saw an ad for these kinds tests - you swab your nose, put it in some solution, and then the solution goes into a warming unit for an hour. I guess the warming part is what improves the accuracy? It takes about 75 minutes to do a tests so I do my test on Sunday mornings so I know I can go to the office that following week. 

So how is it going? Overall, it's gone pretty well. I think everyone I work with/interact with must be vaccinated because I have not seen people in masks (you are required to mask at all times if you receive a vaccination exemption). We were already pretty spread out before covid hit so were naturally socially distanced. Here are the pros and cons I've experienced so far!

Pros:

- I have enjoyed seeing coworkers in person. I hadn't seen most in over 2 years. I've encountered people who didn't know we had another baby! We have gotten good at communicating over teams/email, but sometimes it is nice to just walk over to someone's desk to talk about something/ask a question.

- I have loved being able to print again! We were not allowed to print ANYTHING while working from home. Usually that was not a big deal, but there are times when I really need to print something - like I find it easier to proofread when it is printed out. Things just jump out at me more on paper than when I proofread on the screen. A couple of weeks ago I had to do some complex analysis of the performance of 2 different strategies and was so glad I could print out the attribution reports and compare them side by side!

- It's been great to eat lunch out again. At first I got lunch all 3 days I was in but I only did for a couple of weeks while I adjusted to being back in the office. Now I get lunch 1 day/week and a latte 1 day/week. It's a nice treat.

Cons:

- It is so much harder to fit workouts in. When working from home, I would usually log in around 7, answer emails and address anything urgent and then I would do a quick workout. In the summer, I would run at 7 and then log on around 8 and work straight through for the rest of the day and consider my run my 'break' for the day. We have to be out the door by around 6:50 so we can be at work by around 7:30. I don't have it in me to get up at 4:45-5 to workout before going into the office, plus it seems like one or both kids is up around 5-5:15 so morning workouts just don't work right now. So instead I try to go to the gym in my building at 3 on Thursdays and I run on the treadmill. When it's nicer out, I'll do that run outdoors. That won't work during the hot months as running at 3 would be so awful so I will have to go back to the treadmill or do a strength workout or something. By doing 1 workout on the days I'm in the office, I can fit in 4 workouts/week which is probably enough. 

- It's more work to get the door with hair/make-up done. Yes it feels good to be more put together, but given the choice, I'd choose more sleep over looking put together in this stage of life. ;) 

- It's harder to get dinner on the table on days I go into the office. We usually get home around 5pm and ideally we eat dinner around 5:30pm. That doesn't give me much time to prepare dinner. I try to cut up things on the weekend so that dinner comes together faster but it's a more harried experience to have so little time to make dinner. 

When we found out about the return to work, I jokingly told my boss that I likely wouldn't be healthy enough to go to the office about 1/3 of the time. Well, that has turned out to be right! I made it through most of the first day back in early March and then got the stomach flu and was home for the rest of tha week. Now this week, I am fighting a nasty upper respiratory virus (not covid - 3 of us have colds, we've all done antigen tests and they were all negative) so I will be home this week, too! But I'm glad there is a policy in place to stay home with you are sick so you don't spread crud around to your coworker!

All in all, I'll use Phil's favorite adjective/most common response when I ask how his day was, and characterize the return to the office as "fine." I can see the benefit of having employees together and I'm glad I can still work from home 2 days/week, but given the option, I'd probably drop my number of days in the office down to 1-2! Maybe in the future that will be an option, but for now I'll hold up my end of the bargain and try to be in 3 days/week.

Will you or have you returned to the office? 

Days off + Shouldless Days

I wrote this post mid-day on Tuesday and then got a call from daycare at 3 saying Will had a fever. Ugh. I did a rapid antigen Covid test at home and it was negative so hopefully he’s only home today so I can still have 2 relaxing/productive days off! Really tired of someone always being sick in our house!! 

I am very excited to have the rest of this week off from work, starting today! I was feeling a little worn out back in October so I decided to take 3 days off in November. My company moved to "manage your time" in 2020 or maybe earlier? I used to get a generous 6 weeks off before the change in our PTO policy. I am sure the company changed it knowing that people tend to not use their time off but my goal has been to take around 6 weeks off/year. It was easier to track pre-kids because I mostly took time off for vacations. Now a lot of my days off are due to being sick or a kid being sick. 

But even without tracking, I know I haven't taken/scheduled 6 weeks of vacation days! I did use PTO to add 4 weeks to my 16 weeks of maternity leave but my boss told me to view it as me taking 2 weeks at the end of 2020 and 2 weeks in 2021 instead of 4 weeks of my 2021 leave since I barely took any days off last year thanks to the pandemic (I have a very kind, thoughtful boss). 

Looking back at the days I have taken off for reasons besides illness, they are for daycare closures, kid doctor appointments, and trips to the lake. Daycare closures and kid doctor appointments are not exactly "fun." The lake trips were fun, but they are not exactly relaxing since Will sleeps more poorly when away from home. They are certainly worth it and I look forward to our time at the lake over Thanksgiving, but I don't exactly come back "refreshed."

Thus, my reason for taking 3 days off this week! I wanted to make one day a "shouldless day." I used to take those quarterly pre-kids. Now I think twice a year is a more reasonable goal. Shouldless days are as they sound - I don't do anything I feel I "should" do. So no house work, organization projects, errand-running. I just give myself time to "be." I have a deep tissue massage booked for Thursday but no other plans besides that. I'm sure I will exercise, read, cook dinner, take a nap, etc - which are all things that I enjoy, especially when I am on my own and not juggling watching kids. 

I also have some 'to do' items so there will be a productivity component to my days off. Paul has his preschool screening on Wednesday, I plan to sell my remaining maternity clothes to a consignment shop (will not get much but I just want them out of the house and not in a landfill! I'm selling them at a place where I've bought most of my maternity clothes), we have the fireplace wood burning to gas conversion consultation on Friday, and I'm sure I'll identify other tasks to do on a quiet weekend instead of while juggling watching the kids on a weekend day. 

I'm hoping my 2022 PTO will include more adventures, though. 2020-2021 were just not the year for adventures, pandemic aside, as I was pregnant for a good chunk of 2020 and then 2021 was all about having a baby/adjusting to life as a family of 4. So it actually wasn't the worst time for a pandemic? Obviously there is never a good time for a pandemic and I hope I don't live through another one. But it didn't cancel any trips for me. So far for 2022, we are planning to go to Tucson, AZ for about 5 days in February to visit my sister/take a break from the cold and we are hoping to go somewhere, kid-free, for our 5-year anniversary in May. 

All this is to say - don't let the lack of plans or adventures keep you from using your vacation time!! It's easy to kind of muddle through the days and forget to plan days off, especially if it's not tracked by your company's HR. I harp on my husband to follow my lead but he is TERRIBLE about taking time off! He did seem a bit envious of my days off this week so we'll see if that pushes him to schedule at least a day off!

Do you have any time off planned for the remainder of the year? Are you good about using your PTO? 

My Return to Work

I've been back to work for a little over a week now, so I thought I'd check in and talk about how it's going! So here is a 'bullet-point style' post with my thoughts!


- I'm so glad that I eased back into it with half days. It really helped to have a 'gentle' return to work. I'd highly recommend this to other moms if it's an option.


- We are so grateful for the family and friend that helped us cover the gap between my return to work and Paul's start day at daycare. This week Paul was watched by my aunt for 2 half days, a friend for a half day and my mom for 2 full days. Everyone who watched him said they really enjoyed their time with him.


- Paul spent a half day with my friend at her house as she was home with her almost-6-month-old son, Gus. Last time Paul and Gus hung out, Paul had no interest in socializing. But this time he was so enamored with Gus! I love the look on Paul's face in the photo below! Paul and Gus are only 5 weeks apart - I can't wait to watch them grow up together!

 

- Paul has handled being cared for by different people pretty well. However, he did give me the saddest frowny face when he woke up from his nap after I got home last night. :( My mom went to get him (I was pumping) and when he saw me, he gave me the saddest face. It's like he all of a sudden realized he was with someone else all day. He only gave me the sad face for a little bit but it definitely pulled at my heart strings!

Why must you leave me each day??

- Work has been really busy which has been a great distraction. It's been a bit jarring/discombobulating to be back at work, though. The company I work for was bought by another larger company 3+ years ago and they are getting around to merging things at my level of the company. So there have been lots of changes while I was out and I found out this week that I will have a new boss in September. It's just kind of disorientating to come back and feel like things have shifted and changed. I'm sure that when the dust settles, my role won't be all that impacted. It's just a weird feeling to come back after 4 months and deal with getting back into the swing of things at work + adjusting to other changes. It's been making my head spin.

- Pumping at work kind of sucks. Lugging stuff back and forth is such a nuisance. I'm hoping to buy a pump from a friend so I don't have to haul mine back and forth. Luckily I'm the only pumping mom right now so I don't have any competition for the mother's room. I kind of doubt Paul will exclusively drink breast milk for a year. My goal is to get to 6 months when he will start eating food and then I will start to cut back on how often I am pumping. Babies are still supposed to get the majority of their nutrition from milk when they start eating solids at 6 months so we might have to supplement with formula but hopefully I'll continue to produce enough to give him a couple of bottles of breast milk a day.

There you have it! All in all, my return to work has gone pretty smoothly. I'm nervous for his first day of daycare on Monday but I know we'll all get through it!

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Charles Dickens' epic first line from the book, A Tale of Two Cities, sums up how August has gone for me so far. I feel like I've packed about a month's worth of activities into the first two weeks of the month and am definitely ready for life to slow down a bit. Here's what falls under the best/worst category for the month!

The Best of Times...
- My month started out great with a girls weekend getaway to a cabin up north with 5 of my college friends. We did some shopping, ate great food, put together a 1,000 piece puzzle, caught up on each others lives, soaked up the sun, and laughed a lot. We had so much fun and are committed to getting together on an annual basis going forward!

Posing by Babe the Blue Ox, who is the side kick of the American Fok Hero, Paul Bunyan.

- We spent the second weekend hosting Alli and Chris and showing them the sights of Minneapolis. Neither one of them had been to Minneapolis so we did our best to show them the best that our city has to offer. We were gifted with absolutely beautiful weather! I did a terrible job of taking photos of all the things we saw and did, but some of the highlights were walking through the Rose Gardens by Lake Harriet, checking out Minnehaha Falls, walking through my old neighborhood, and eating dinner at one of the best restaurants in Minneapolis.

Alli & Chris by Minnehaha Falls

 - My garden has been producing a ton of fresh produce! I came home from a business trip and picked everything in the picture below, plus a bag of green beans. I already had quite a few tomatoes that I had picked the week before, so I need to figure out how to can stat! My goal is to try to make salsa and spaghetti sauce next weekend.

The Worst of Times...
- I have been so sick. Like the sickest I have been in a very, very long time. After hacking away all weekend during my girls weekend getaway, I ended up going to urgent care last Monday as I'd been sick for a week and hadn't made any improvement. It turns out I had a nasty case of bronchitis. I went to urgent care the morning before leaving for a 3-day business trip to northern California, so the timing was terrible.
 

Starting off my Monday with an urgent care patient bracelet.

- Being sick while traveling for work is HORRID. I coughed through presentations. I was constantly hot/clammy as my body couldn't regulate its temperature and it was so hot in the Central Valley of California where I spent most of my time. The low point of the trip was when I made the mistake of taking my antibiotics on an empty stomach and ended up throwing up one morning. I had to quickly rally as I had 4 different client meetings that day. I was on my own for the first two days and on the final day, the sales rep I was traveling with said I sounded so awful and said he would have understood if I wanted to stay in the car while he went in and did the client meetings. I opted to go into the client meetings with him as I figured I might as well contribute to the conversation since I was already there.

- To top things off, earlier in the month I found out that there was a water issue in the building where the condo I own is and because the connection between the dishwasher and kitchen sink in my unit wasn't properly installed, water backed up in to the kitchen. The laminate tile got wet and warped, so the flooring has to be replaced and I had to get that connection between the sink and the dishwasher fixed. And the oven element stopped working, too, so that is getting replaced.  When it rains, it pours I guess. Anytime I have to shell out money for that condo, it annoys me because I would LOVE to sell it, but it's STILL worth less than the balance of my mortgage. Le sigh. Luckily I have a property manager that deals with stuff like this because clearly I would not have had time to deal with it this month.

So there you have it. It's been a month of insanity. There have been good times, but there have been some tough times. I'm hoping that calmer waters are ahead because I feel like life is totally and completely kicking my *ss right now. Luckily, I have a mostly plan-free week. Thank God. I feel like I've barely seen Phil for the last 2 weeks so we really need some quiet time to just be together. And, his birthday falls this week so I'm glad I'll be around this week so I can help him celebrate it!

What's going on in your world these days?

Ch-ch-changes in My Work Life

Over the last month or so I've alluded to stress and anxiety at work but couldn't exactly say what was causing the stress and anxiety...  but today I can finally share some big news.  Tomorrow will be my last day at my current employer and I will start a new job on July 20th!  I'm really excited about my new job because I'll be reunited with my former boss/mentor (who I actually wrote a 10 Days of Thanksgiving post about this past November), and over the last several years I've met a lot of different people in the group I'll be working with so I feel confident that I'll be happy at this new company and in my new role.  

The path to accepting this job and making it public at work has been long and stressful so I am so relieved that I can finally share the news broadly and don't have to keep it a secret!  It's been hard on me to come into work for the last several weeks knowing I am leaving but not being able to say anything so I am beyond relieved that this phase is over. 

I don't love the fact that I only worked in my current role for just over 13 months.  Truth be told, I feel a bit of a sense of shame over the fact that I am starting a new job again.  Plus I've already gotten some 'wow, a new job already?' kind of comments.  However, I am trying to remind myself that only I and those closest to me can understand why I made the decision to leave my current role.  In an attempt to combat those feelings of shame, I'm reminding myself often that what others think of me is none of my business and a waste of my energy to focus on or worry about, but it's an uphill battle.  Luckily Phil and my family and friends have all been really supportive and encouraging during the interview/offer acceptance/resignation process.    

All that said, I'm very excited to start my new position and I feel confident that it's a place where I can settle in and build my career.  The happiest I've ever been in my career was when I was partnering with the guy I'll be working with at the new company so I know that better times lie ahead!!  I'm thankful that I can take a week off between jobs so I can start my new job feeling relaxed and refreshed!

When is the last time you changed jobs?  Is your current position a role you can see yourself having for a long time? 

Home.

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the world that I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the world that I'm coming home

~ J.Cole 

I can't believe I'm actually writing this post - a post that will tell you all about how I have found a path home.  It's a post that's honestly been something I have anticipated writing from the day I moved to Charlotte.  I've spent so much time counting down the months, weeks, and days of my one year commitment to Charlotte and there was times when I seriously questioned how I'd ever find my way back home.  But I did.

The last 2 weeks have been very stressful for me.  I've tried to be like a duck - calm on the surface but paddling like mad underneath and thank goodness I have had running and other forms of exercise to use as my outlet, but yikes.  I would not want to relive the last 2 weeks.  I flew 6 times, covering 5,500 miles in the span of 8 days.  I had 2 sets of interviews with 2 companies and when I say sets of interviews, I mean 5-6 hour blocks of solid interviews with no breaks.  It was exhausting.

But none of that matters now because I got the best news on Wednesday night - the company I was most interested in offered me a position that is essentially the same as what I am doing right now - which I am thrilled about because I really love my job, I just don't like Charlotte.  I resigned on Thursday evening and was pleasantly surprised by how well the conversation with my boss went.  Unfortunately it had to be over the phone as we were both traveling, but c'est la vie.

At this point, I have more questions than answers as my boss wasn't sure what would happen with my non-compete so I am hoping that I get more clarity today.  I gave a tentative start day of May 27th to my new employer so I will most likely move around mid-May.  

My head is spinning with all the details that must be attended to, like finding a moving company and most importantly, finding an apartment to rent which is already proving to be a frustrating experience but I am trying to trust that it will all work out.  

I'm excited but mostly this all feels surreal.  I've wanted to move home so badly since the day I arrived in Charlotte, it's kind of hard to believe that it's actually happening.  Plus I am honestly still in a haze of exhaustion from the interview process and the travel for those interviews on top of traveling for 2 conferences for work.  I think when I get caught up on sleep and know when my last day at my current job will be, the fact that I am moving home will start to set in.   

But bottom line, this was the very best news I could have received.  While it's bittersweet to leave a company where I've spent 10 years building relationships, I am very excited about the company I am joining and the growth opportunities there.  I have my work cut out for me when I start as they have high expectations for what I can bring to the table, but I intend to prove to them from day one that they made the right choice by hiring me!

In closing, can I just say how great it is to have a post to share with some good news for a change?  I am hopeful that the tide is changing and that 2014 is going to be a wonderful year for me!

My Time in Florida

I am back from my week-long trip to Florida.  It went fast and slow at the same time as the time with family went really fast, but the time spent at the conference went pretty slow and the days were long as I had client dinners that went until 9:30-10:30 at night.

The family time was wonderful, though.  The weather was a bit cool, but I still went to the beach in the afternoon on Friday and Saturday.  There's nothing like hearing the relaxing sound of the ocean.  While the temps were cooler, it was very sunny and it felt amazing to feel those rays of sunshine.

2 of my aunts and I

I also ate really well while I was visiting family.  Almost all of the meals were home-cooked and oh so delicious.  Another highlight was squeezing in a game of rummy.  I did not win any hands, but it was still fun.

On Sunday I had to head over to Orlando for my work conference, but I was able to stop in Tampa to meet up with Stephany for a coffee.  We've been reading each other blogs for years so it was really fun to catch up in person!

The work part of the trip was, well, work.  Last year when I was attending this conference, I was preparing to move to Charlotte, and a lot of people remembered that which means I had to answer lots of  questions about how I am liking Charlotte, which, by the way, is pretty much my LEAST favorite topic of conversation.  So yah...  That said, it was good to connect with other people that work in my industry and to learn more about a product that is utilized by a lot of my clients.

I flew back to Charlotte on Wednesday evening and am now trying to play catch-up after.  Between my trip home for work and my trip to Florida, I haven't been around much the last couple of weeks and it's catching up with me.  I'm over-tired and my tummy is a little upset with me as traveling with a gluten intolerance is always challenging.

But I'll be around for the next 2 weeks, which is both good and not so good.  It's good because I miss my bed and need to return to a normal diet. It's not so good because any stretch of time spent in Charlotte is hard on me, and it's been even harder on me lately since I don't see a clear path out of here.  It was made even worse last night when I found out my rent is increasing by $500 when my lease goes month-to-month next month.  Just when I think things can't get worse, they do.  I was stressed about finding a job before, now I'm even MORE stressed. 

Tell me something good or happy because I need some positive things to focus on to pull me out of the pit of sadness and frustration I am currently inhabiting.  Please don't tell me that God only gives me what I can handle or that there is some greater reason I am going through this.  I can't handle any positive spin comments on this relocation experience and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I am not better off in any way for having gone through this experience.  It has been AWFUL.  And expensive.

Having It All?

While I have a lot on my mind with the upcoming CFA, adjusting to Charlotte, and working through this injury, I have also had a lot of downtime since I got to Charlotte.  And a lot of (solo) downtime means that I have had a lot of time to think over the last 6+ weeks.

I am too old for a quarter-life crisis and I am too young for a mid-life crisis, and I wouldn't use the word 'crisis' to describe my state of mind.  Maybe instead it would be better to call it a 'what exactly am I doing with my life' frame of mind. 

Years ago when I decided to pursue my MBA, I made a commitment to making my career one of the top priorities in my life.  Except my 25-year old self didn't really realize it then.  Getting my MBA just seemed like a natural next step and it was a personal accomplishment I wanted to have.  I did not properly consider the financial ramifications of that decision at the time.  Yes, I am financially secure and able to provide for myself and pay back my student loans, but the student loans associated with that MBA are a ball and chain around my neck that I tote around.  It dictates how much I need to earn, which means I have less flexibility when it comes to the kind of opportunities I pursue.

All this is not to say that I don't want a challenging career.  I have worked hard to get to where I am at and have invested a lot of money in my education and time into the CFA.  And I like to be challenged.  I guess what I am questioning is how big of a career is big enough for me?  How many sacrifices - like the ones I am currently making - do I want to make along the way for my career?

I don't really know the answer to all of these questions.  A couple of years ago I thought I could have it all.  I could have a challenging career, live close to family, and hopefully one day get married and have kids.  Now?  I don't feel that way anymore.  Eventually, I'm going to have to make some choices and figure out what I want as I really never see myself living in Charlotte, working in my position, and having a husband and children.

Right now, I find myself in a position where I am putting my life on hold to focus on my career.  Don't get me wrong, I love my career and feel fortunate that I can say that.  I just don't know if I love it enough to let go of the other things that I want in life.  I thought for the longest time that if I just kept focusing on what was in my control (my career), the rest (marriage and a family) would fall into place on it's own.  But now that focus on my career has led me away from my boyfriend, family, and friends to a city where I would never want to settle down and raise a family.  Thus, I feel like I am getting further and further from what matters the most to me.  I could have a challenging, lucrative career, but what is the sense of earning more and more money if I don't have someone to eat dinner with or travel with, or friends to spend time with?  And if I continue down this path of only pursuing my career aspirations, what am I going to have to show for it at the end of my life? 

I guess it was inevitable that I was going to hit a fork in the road at some point that would require me to make somewhat of a choice between my career and my personal life.  I'm not saying it is an either/or proposition.  I know I can have a great career and a great personal life, I just don't feel like that is the case right now.

So at this point, my goal is to pay off my grad school loans as aggressively as I possibly can so that I will eventually have the financial flexibility to possibly take a pay cut in order to find a job in a geographical location that is closer to my family and friends. 

Have you ever found yourself questioning whether you are on the right path in life?  I think I am particularly struggling because I don't really feel like moving to Charlotte was a path I chose - it was something I felt like I had to do to ensure I'd have financial stability.  Nonetheless, I'm on this path and it's up to me to figure out how to change course.

Putting Analysis Paralysis Behind Me

Hello!  I'm back!  Look at me, posting a late day post! 

Well after suffering from a horrible case of analysis paralysis for the past 2 weeks, I have reached my decision about the upcoming move...  Even though this is not a path I ever expected my life to take and didn't really want it to take, this afternoon I accepted the relocation offer to Charlotte.

The past 2 weeks have been very tough for me.  There have been a lot of tears and days where I feel just plain depressed.  My boyfriend has been supportive but we both have acknowledged that we don't know what this means for us.  There have been lots of hugs and cuddles and he has definitely been a sounding board and 100% supportive throughout this process, for which I am thankful for.  Out of everything, this is the toughest aspect of the move for me.  I can move for 1-2 years (or however long I end up being in Charlotte) and when I move back, my relationships with family and friends will pick up where they left off.  I am not sure that will be the case for my boyfriend and I.  But I know we both want to give a long distance relationship a shot and I am trying to believe that whatever happens is meant to be.

The last 2 weeks haven't been all bad, though.  While I have had a lot on my mind and have definitely been more sad/down than happy, I have had my moments of optimism and excitement.  I love traveling and discovering new places and I know this move to Charlotte will give me an opportunity to explore a different part of the country.  I stare at pictures of Asheville and Charleston on days when I feel down about living in Charlotte.  And I focus on the fact that I already have one friend that lives in Charlotte, and John lives less than 3 hours away.  And luckily there are inexpensive flights to Boston, NYC, DC, and Pittsburgh, so I know I will have trips to visit Kelly, Alli, Becky, Mandy, and Erin to look forward to.  Best of all, my sister Abby will be in Mississippi for a year as they will be stationed there while her husband  becomes an Air Force Pilot, so we can meet up in Atlanta which will only be a 4 hour drive for each of us.  So at least I'll have family somewhat close by, and we'll both be going through similar things.

I have to be in Charlotte by April 1st, so am leaning towards moving that last week and probably will fly to Charlotte on the evening of Easter Sunday (they ship my car for me, thank God).  I still need to meet with the relocation counselor and learn more about the process and how it all works (and if I can push my start date out a bit to make sure I can spend Easter with my family).  I know there will be a multi-day gap between when the moving company packs my stuff and when it arrives in Charlotte (up to a week, I think) so I need to figure out the logistics of where I will stay when I am in limbo.  But I have time to figure that out.

My next step will be a trip to Charlotte in February to check out my apartment options.  I have been disappointed to find that the cost of living is actually higher in Charlotte (in terms of rent) than Minneapolis.  I imagine this is due to the fact that they have far fewer apartment buildings than Minneapolis does.  It's kind of depressing to see what I will get for my money versus what I have now, but I have to just let it go and accept the fact that I am not going to find what I have here in Minneapolis.  I think my mom will be joining me for this trip, so it will be good to have her with me.

This decision has been far from easy, and one thing that has bothered me the most is when people say things like, "well you are choosing between your personal life and your career/money."  It really bothers me when people phrase that decision because first of all, I am being forced to make this choice within a very short time frame.  It's not something I am choosing - it is being forced on me.  Secondly, I think it's more accurate to say I am choosing between financial stability and uncertainty about my future income.  Sure I could roll the dice on finding something during the severance period, but I'd be taking on a HUGE risk, financially. I think it's easy for someone outside of my situation to say 'oh come on, you can find a job' - but they do not have to deal with the financial ramifications of not finding a job and putting themselves in financial jeapardy. So yes - financial stability wins out in this decision, but it's not like I value money over family/friends/my boyfriend. Lastly, I will still have a personal life when I move to Charlotte.  Yes, it will be far different from the one I have here and I won't see the people I love nearly as often as I would like, but I will make it work. 

I am slowly trying to make the transition from the pity party to a sense of excitement and anticipation.  It's not an easy transition and I know I will still have hard days, but I know that I have to embrace the decision I've made and not look back.  I need to own my decision and accept the fact that I've made a different decision than some of my family members and friends would make or would like me to make.  What I need now is for the people in my life to accept my decision and support me, even if it is not the decision they would have made.

I really believe that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react and deal with it.  I've been really sad, down, and depressed, but I want to shift out of that frame of mind as this is my reality and being sad/angry/upset is not going to change anything and will probably only make it worse.

I'm sure I'll be sharing my experiences, both good and bad, along the way.  And if anyone has made a cross country move and has some words of encouragement and/or advice, I am all ears.

Here's to the next chapter in this adventure of my life!