Home.

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the world that I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the world that I'm coming home

~ J.Cole 

I can't believe I'm actually writing this post - a post that will tell you all about how I have found a path home.  It's a post that's honestly been something I have anticipated writing from the day I moved to Charlotte.  I've spent so much time counting down the months, weeks, and days of my one year commitment to Charlotte and there was times when I seriously questioned how I'd ever find my way back home.  But I did.

The last 2 weeks have been very stressful for me.  I've tried to be like a duck - calm on the surface but paddling like mad underneath and thank goodness I have had running and other forms of exercise to use as my outlet, but yikes.  I would not want to relive the last 2 weeks.  I flew 6 times, covering 5,500 miles in the span of 8 days.  I had 2 sets of interviews with 2 companies and when I say sets of interviews, I mean 5-6 hour blocks of solid interviews with no breaks.  It was exhausting.

But none of that matters now because I got the best news on Wednesday night - the company I was most interested in offered me a position that is essentially the same as what I am doing right now - which I am thrilled about because I really love my job, I just don't like Charlotte.  I resigned on Thursday evening and was pleasantly surprised by how well the conversation with my boss went.  Unfortunately it had to be over the phone as we were both traveling, but c'est la vie.

At this point, I have more questions than answers as my boss wasn't sure what would happen with my non-compete so I am hoping that I get more clarity today.  I gave a tentative start day of May 27th to my new employer so I will most likely move around mid-May.  

My head is spinning with all the details that must be attended to, like finding a moving company and most importantly, finding an apartment to rent which is already proving to be a frustrating experience but I am trying to trust that it will all work out.  

I'm excited but mostly this all feels surreal.  I've wanted to move home so badly since the day I arrived in Charlotte, it's kind of hard to believe that it's actually happening.  Plus I am honestly still in a haze of exhaustion from the interview process and the travel for those interviews on top of traveling for 2 conferences for work.  I think when I get caught up on sleep and know when my last day at my current job will be, the fact that I am moving home will start to set in.   

But bottom line, this was the very best news I could have received.  While it's bittersweet to leave a company where I've spent 10 years building relationships, I am very excited about the company I am joining and the growth opportunities there.  I have my work cut out for me when I start as they have high expectations for what I can bring to the table, but I intend to prove to them from day one that they made the right choice by hiring me!

In closing, can I just say how great it is to have a post to share with some good news for a change?  I am hopeful that the tide is changing and that 2014 is going to be a wonderful year for me!

From the Land of Ma'am: My Apartment

Greetings and happy Wednesday.  Luckily I am feeling much better than I did when I wrote Monday's post.  I have a permanent desk now at work.  Just having that stability is really helping.  I'm feeling more settled, and in general am in a better place mentally than I was on Monday.  Onwards and upwards.

While I may not have really  chosen this move to Charlotte, the reality of the situation is that I am here.  The days are long, but the years are short so I figure I might as well make the most of my time here.  In an effort to motivate myself to see the good, I decided to start a post series that I will call "From the Land of Ma'am."  Since I'll be exploring more areas than Charlotte, I thought a "Southern-influenced" post series theme was appropriate.  And, after all, I am living in an area of the country where they say ma'am A LOT!

To kick off my post series, I thought I'd share some pictures of my new home with you.  I've been in my new apartment for a little over a week now and am mostly settled in.  I still have some organizational projects to do, but for the most part I am pretty much settled.  All in all, I like my apartment.  My main complaint is the lack of storage.  I have 1 closet total - no entry closet, no coat closet, nothing.  Just one smallish walk-in closet.  I had 3 closets, a linen closet, a kitchen pantry, and a storage unit in my last place so it's a drastic change for me to have such little storage.  I tried to fit as much into my closet as possible but admitted defeat last week and ended up renting an onsite storage unit.  I just couldn't handle throwing more out or donating more (I did a lot of that before my move and have sort of had it with purging).

I am fairly happy with how it is arranged, with the exception of the placement of my dining room table (I want to pull it away from the wall), but that is not a piece of furniture I can move on my own, so that will have to wait.  Here are some pictures of my new space.

Living Room

The living room from a different perspective (the door on the left leads to my balcony)

My beautiful kitchen

My bedroom (I have a sliding glass door that leads to the balcony which overlooks a courtyard)

My building has a lot of great features such as a concierge who signs for packages and notifies you of their arrival via email, a small gym, outdoor pool area, yoga studio where you can do workout/yoga DVDs, a small movie room, and a business center.  It's quiet and it's just over a 1/2 mile walk to work.  On days when I don't want to walk to work, there is a free trolley-style bus that picks up in front of my apartment building and drops me off right in front of my office building.

So all in all, it is a good place to live.  It's small, but besides the lack of storage, I think I will be pretty happy here.

What do you like best about your home?  Do you like your floor plan?  I picked this apartment primarily because of the cost and proximity to work, but also because of the open floor plan, which is the kind of floor plan I had in my last place and the kind I prefer.

Checking In...

Greetings and Happy Wednesday, everyone.  I made it to Charlotte in one piece.  As expected, the goodbyes were really tough and I spent much of Sunday in tears...  But I am here and trying to embrace the April quote from my Erin Condren planner:

However - I am giving myself this week off from 'bloom where you are planted' because I think it's kind of impossible to be happy/optimistic in the midst of unpacking.

There have been some positive things since I arrived.  First off, the weather is beautiful!  The sun is shining and the temperatures are in the 70-80 degree range.  Meanwhile, there is a snow storm that is hitting Minneapolis and may drop 8+" of snow.  So I would definitely rather have this weather.  Secondly, a co-worker took me Target on Monday so I could buy some things that I couldn't pack in my suitcase, like a pillow.  Oh and by the way, I think it is awesome that Target sells wine.  Yes, this is making my list of positives.  Target is not allowed to sell alcohol in the states of Minnesota and North Dakota (and in other areas of the country I believe). Now I am not a big drinker at all, but I do enjoy the occasional glass of wine, so a box of wine may have made it in my cart.  Yes, I realize drinking boxed wine is super classy, but it's practical for a person like me that tends to just want one small glass.

There have been some not so positive things since I arrived, mostly related to moving in.  It went smoothly and the moving company was great to work with (side note:  I have never been called ma'am so many times in my life).  BUT - I totally underestimated how much I needed to downsize for this move.  I really thought I had gotten rid of enough stuff as I took several loads to goodwill and a car full of things to my parents.  Ha.  I did not even come close to downsizing enough.  I am bursting at the seams.  The lack of closet space is my biggest challenge as I only have one small closet in my bedroom that barely fits the clothes I own.  So yah.  Round 2 of downsizing will be happening. 

So that's where I am at right now.  I don't know that I have ever been so busy or overwhelmed.  Moving in the midst of CFA season is HORRID.  I'm so stressed from that as the review process is not going very well this year and I am not happy with how I am doing on my practice assessments.  And I'm stressed from the disaster that is my apartment.  I am hoping the moving company can return this weekend to pick up the boxes because that will really help reduce the look of clutter that makes me tweak out. 

I have a fairly quiet weekend ahead of me, so I am hoping to get lots of CFA studying done and some purging done.  And I am crossing my fingers that my car arrives soon so I can do another goodwill drop.

I hope you all have a great rest of the week.  Besides a guest post on Friday, I will probably be quiet around these parts for the next week or so as I try to get settled in.  When my place no longer looks like a total and complete disaster, I will share pictures. 

Thanks for the Memories

Well, the packing and removal of my belongings is complete, and it went very smoothly.  I don't really think I can find the words to do justice to the feelings I felt as I sat there and watched the movers box up my belongings and cart them away.  I am not going to sugar coat this experience.  At the end of the day as I walked around my empty apartment that I loved through-and-through, I felt as empty as it looked...  I knew it would be a hard day, but it was actually harder than I thought it would be.  But so it goes.

It is hard to believe my last weekend in Minneapolis has come.  For the most part this weekend came really fast - too fast, actually.  But in some ways, the last three months since I found out about this move has felt like one long goodbye.  I have tried to live in the moment as much as possible and have been fairly successful at doing this, but in the back of my mind, I was often thinking things like 'this is the last time I will do this,' 'this is the last time I will see this person before my move' etc etc.  I am really really sad to leave, but in some ways, I am ready for the move to be behind me as I am sort of tired of living in limbo.  I feel like I've metaphorically had one foot in Minneapolis and one foot in Charlotte for the past couple of months, so I am ready to have my feet firmly planted in one place.  Plus I am ready for the clock on my one year commitment to Charlotte to start ticking.

So much has happened in the last 10 years I've spent in Minneapolis.  I learned how to live on my own.  I had my heart broken and mended.  I got my MBA.  I started blogging and met this whole community of amazing people.  I became an aunt - 6 times!  I watched dear friends marry their soul mates.  I watched my sister marry her soul mate.  I became a faux-aunt to the children of friends.  I trained and ran my first marathon - and then two more.  I said goodbye to friends who moved onto new cities.  I met new friends.  I discovered my love for Paris and all things French.  I shared that love of France by starting the tradition of Julia Child Night with my aunt.  I passed the first two levels of the CFA. I bought a condo.  I became a landlord.  I figured out that I really am a city mouse.  I joined a running club and met a whole bunch of friends through that.  I tried different jobs and found the career path that was meant for me.  I figured out who I really am and what I value in a lifestyle.

The last 10 years had their fair share of difficult times.  But looking back, the good far outweighs the bad.  All of these experiences and memories have made me who I am today.  They are tucked away in my heart and I will carry them along on this journey I am taking.  10 years ago, I could not fathom moving across the country.  And certainly not alone.  But these things I will do.

On Sunday I will board my one-way flight to Charlotte.  There will undoubtedly be many tears shed, and while it's been a long goodbye, I really know in my heart that it's more of a 'see you later'.  It's a one way ticket, but I think of it more as an open-ended ticket.  I firmly believe there will be a return flight some day.  I don't know when and I don't really know where (Minneapolis?  Chicago?).  But, barring the highly unlikely scenario of me falling in love with the south, I feel confident that I will find my way back to the Midwest.

I know I have tough times ahead of me as I begin to adjust to my new home, but I also believe that, similar to the photo below, the clouds will part and the sun will shine through.  And, eventually, I will be ok.

See you later, Minnesota.  Thanks for the memories.

Looking Forward: The North Carolina Edition

Well, it's officially moving week.  Tomorrow is my last day in the office, the movers come Thursday morning to pack/load my belongs and my car, and then I will be staying with Phil until Sunday when I take my one-way flight to Charlotte...  Yikes.  I think that might be a 'sunglasses on' kind of flight to hide the tears I imagine I'll be crying. 

That said, I think I am well overdue for a positive post about this move, given the fact I have not written anything positive about it thus far.  So I thought I'd do a looking forward post with a North Carolina focus.

When I move to NC, I'm looking forward to...

- spring.  I know Charlotte has had cooler weather lately, but it's still a walk in the park compared to what we've had lately (hello 8 degrees with the windchill on April 1st).  I am looking forward to green grass and trees with leaves and blooming flowers.  And temps that don't require a winter coat, hat, and gloves!!  And maybe I can wear my cropped pants without freezing!  

- attending a good friend/co-worker's wedding later this month.  She graciously invited me to her wedding when she found out I would move in time to be there for her special day.  She is getting married in the Lake Norman area, which is apparently a very beautiful area.  I will also be attending her 'last night out' dinner the first weekend I am in Charlotte.  It feels good to have social plans the first two weekends I will be in Charlotte.

- visiting John and his family in the Raleigh area!  I have known John through blogging for many years and we met briefly last year when I was in Charlotte for work.  In June I am planning to visit him, his wife, and their 2 adorable girls.  John is preparing for an Ironman in the fall (I might go spectate since it's in Wilmington which is about 3-4 hours from Charlotte!) so we will definitely be doing a long run together!

- checking out the U.S. National Whitewater Center.  It's about 20 minutes from Charlotte, so very easy to get to.  I am considering getting a season pass for this place as I can see myself going there often.  Judging by the name you might think I will go white water rafting, but I am actually not a huge fan of that; instead I want to paddle board, kayak, zip-line, check out their trails (Kyria, I might actually try trail running!), try canyon crossing (whatever that means), and maybe try rock climbing. 

- visiting the Asheville area.  I have heard nothing but wonderful things about Asheville.  It's in the mountainous area of NC and that is where the Biltmore is located (which apparently looks like a French Castle!).  There are so many things to do, I might have to go here more than once to take it all in.

- visiting the Outer Banks.  This is another area that I have heard nothing but good things about.  It sounds like such a beautiful, charming place to visit.  It's a LONG drive from Charlotte, though, so I am not sure if I will get there this year, but we'll see.

So there you have it.  Some positive aspects to this move, most of which I'll work on discovering after the CFA exam is behind me.  I think I am going to treat myself to a North Carolina travel guide book after the move as I figure that will help me find other areas to explore.  After all, I do want to make the most of this year (or however long it ends up being) that I spend in Charlotte.

Have you been to North Carolina?  Any must-see places I should add to my list?

Practicing an Attitude of Gratitude

A couple of weeks ago on my day off from work, I met up with a good friend for lunch.  I had lunch with her shortly after I found out about my move, but we hadn't had a chance to meet up since, so we had lots to catch up on.  I think I held it together last time I saw her as the news of my move was so new and I was still working through my emotions.  Well, at this lunch, the reality of the move had started to set in and I was a bit of a total crying mess. Luckily this friend is a fellow crier so she didn't pass any judgment over the fact that I pretty much cried through our entire lunch - and luckily I was facing the wall of the restaurant so I had some privacy.

Nearly 10 weeks after finding out about this move, I continue to really struggle with it.  Maybe it's the fact that it's being forced on me (yes, I could have said no, but I really couldn't for financial reason).  Maybe it's the fact that I have no control over the timing.  Maybe it's the fact that I am already stressed to the max January-June due to CFA studying and just can't really handle another major life event.  Maybe it is the sum of all of these things.  Whatever the reason -no matter how many times I try to tell myself that it will all work out, that it will be ok, and that this next year won't be a dark phase of my life, I am just really struggling to believe it.

So after my friend listened to my litany of complaints about all the things happening related to the move, she gently recommended that I consider starting a gratitude journal.  She explained how she had kept a gratitude journal during a challenging time in her life and thought I might benefit from it as well.

And she is completely right.  I had received a couple of journals for my birthday, so I decided to make one of them a gratitude journal.

So each night, usually after I finish studying, I think back on the day and come up with 3 moments/things that I am grateful for.   I know that eventually this dark cloud that has been hanging over me will part and I will find it easier to focus on the good things in life - but for right now, it's a conscious exercise to focus on the good.  I am hoping that by focusing on the good things in life, it will help me move past the feelings of anger and resentment that I have been harboring lately.

I don't expect this gratitude journal to make a difference over night.  But hopefully with time, it will help me shift my attitude and become a little more of a "Tigger" and a little less of an "Eyore," as my former boss so succinctly put it in the card he gave me at my going away party.

Have you ever kept a gratitude journal?  Are you good about practicing an attitude of gratitude?  With the exception of difficult times in my life, I feel like I am pretty good at focusing on the positive in life.

Love Where You Live

For those who know me well and have read this blog for awhile, I think it is pretty clear that I really, really love Minneapolis.  So much so that I could practically be an ambassador for this city.  My deep love for Minneapolis is part of the reason the move to Charlotte is so hard for me.  Now, I do realize that Minneapolis is not perfect. Our climate leaves something to be desired from December through March.  And it can be hard to be a new person in this city as people tend to stick to their groups of friends.  And it's not the best city for single 30-somethings since people tend to marry in their 20s around these parts.  But all in all, the good outweighs the not so good.

It's no secret that I am not exactly excited about the city of Charlotte.  I know quite a few people (mostly through work) that call Charlotte home and say that they love it... A frustrating aspect of this move has been the fact that most of the people who claim to love Charlotte can't succinctly explain what it is that they love.  It's almost like the city has, as the French would say, a certain "je ne sais quoi."  When I ask people to explain why they love the city of Charlotte, their love of the city is just something they can't seem to explain.

Maybe I expect too much when I expect people to have a succinct reason for liking the city they inhabit.  After awhile, I guess you probably just accept that it's where you live and you stop thinking about the reasons that you love where you live.

So maybe the average person can't succinctly explain why they love where they live.  But I can.  If someone was moving to Minneapolis and asked me why I love Minneapolis, I could easily answer that question.  I'd tell them that we are one of the top 10 cities for running and that we have beautiful running trails, many of which are along lakes and rivers.  I'd tell them that we battle Portland each year for the top spot for Friendliest Biking City and that our bike sharing program has been very successful and is something I utilize daily April-November.  I'd tell them that we have a wonderful live music scene and it's rare for a musical artist to not include Minneapolis on their tours.  I'd tell them that our downtown is vibrant year round and offers a great selection of restaurants - some of which have awesome happy hours.  I'd tell them that there are great farmer's markets throughout the city, my favorite of which is the one in my neighborhoood.  I'd tell them that many large companies, such as General Mills, Target, Medtronic, and Best Buy, are head quartered in Minneapolis which means we have lots of employment options (just not in my field of Fixed Income, unfortunately).

I'd tell them all of this, and so much more. 

If you love where you live, do you think you could succinctly explain why?  If someone was moving to your city, what selling points about your city could you provide?

On Downsizing

Well we are back from our apartment hunting trip to Charlotte.  The word that sums up my apartment hunting experience is downsizing. I knew going into this weekend that I would likely have to rent a smaller space as rent is really high in the area close to Charlotte's Uptown (even though this city is allegedly supposed to have a lower cost of living). So I am losing about 450 square feet so that my rent can decrease to a level that will allow me to save money for plane tickets home. From a net perspective I am actually not saving all that much because of the difference in the utilities I have to pay in Charlotte. But I am saving as much as I can while still living in a place I can be ok with calling home.

My head has been spinning since Saturday as I try to figure out how to get my possession to fit into my new space. Here are some things I am doing to prepare for my move to a smaller space:

- See you later, piano. Considering the fact that I am struggling to fit some small bookshelves in my new home, it was out of the question to try to bring my piano. Luckily my former boss is going to keep it for me while I am gone. He wants his kids to take lessons so it works well for them to take it off my hands. Plus I know they will take good care of it.

- Adios furniture. I put a loveseat and over-sized chair on Craigslist as they most definitely won't fit in the new place. Fingers crossed someone buys them so I can get that aspect of the move over with.

- Bah humbug. My Christmas decorations won't be making the move either. I got spoiled by having storage units the last 8 years that I have lived in privately owned condo buildings. Commercially owned buildings will only provide storage for a fee, and I don't think it's worth it for me to pay a fee just so I can have access to my Christmas tree (my tree/decorations wouldn't fit in the storage available in the unit). Plus I am not sure a tree would even fit in my apt. I know I will be coming home for Christmas so I will just soak up the Christmas decorations at my parents lake home.

- Climate considerations. I'm looking hard at my wardrobe and boxing up things to store at my parents. I'm asking myself: do I need 4 winter coats in this warmer climate? No. Do I need snowpants? Not a chance. Snow boots? Nope. I know it will get into the 20-30s so I will bring some coats but I don't need a closet full of winter coats in North Carolina.

But my 6 bookshelves? Those are coming with me. I have to draw the line somewhere! Fingers crossed they fit. If they don't I guess I will just sell them when I arrive in Charlotte.

So there you have it.  Sorry this isn't a 'I fell in love with Charlotte post.' I really was hoping to come back feeling better about this move, but such is life. It's a step forward for my career and I am sure I will find things I like about my new neighborhood once I settle in.

On a positive note, I did have a really good time with my mom and it was fun showing her the trading floor where I will work. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming so I think she feels better knowing I will work with some nice people. And in general, the people in Charlotte were extremely friendly. Way friendlier than people you would encounter in the Midwest honestly. So Charlotte has that going for it.

 At the end of the day, I am reminding myself that it's only a year and I can come back at the end of that year (assuming I find a job) if I am totally miserable.

Have you ever moved to a place that required you to significantly downsize?

Charlotte-bound

Greetings and Happy Friday everyone!  My mom arrived in Minneapolis last night and we flew out to Charlotte.  Our mission is to find an apartment for me to rent.  Shortly after I came to terms with the fact that I would in fact have to move to Charlotte, I realized that the person I really wanted to come with me on this apartment-hunting trip was my mom.  I know I am 32 and can make decisions on my own, as I have for the 14 years since I graduated from high school and became an independent person.  BUT sometimes- you just need your mom.

I think to some extent, my parents (and other key people in my life) have felt a bit helpless as they've watched me go through this experience.  My parents have been on the receiving end of many, many tearful conversations and I think they probably feel a little frustrated that besides offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, they can't DO anything.  But accompanying me on this trip to Charlotte is something my mom CAN do.  She can come to Charlotte with me and help me decide what apartment I will call home.  And there was not a moment of hesitation when I called her and asked her if she would consider coming with me.

Through this process, I have been downright negative about Charlotte and I am hoping that I can start to turn the corner this weekend and find some things to get excited about.  I hope that I find coffee shops that I can see myself reading in on the weekend and running paths that I can see myself training on during marathon training season.  I hope I find an apartment I will be happy to call home that will be walking or biking distance from work and I hope that my neighborhood feels somewhat as 'right' as my current neighborhood does.

I know that Charlotte will never be Minneapolis.  And I have to accept that.  But I am hoping to find some redeeming qualities when I visit Charlotte this week.  At the end of the weekend, I hope I come back to Minneapolis and find myself closer to a state of mind where I don't tear up when people call and ask me how I feel about my move to Charlotte.

Weekend Warrior

Happy Monday!  For those of you who were hit hard by a snow storm, I hope you are digging out!  It was crazy to see how much snow the Northeast got over the weekend.  I am SO glad that was not me as I am really over snow.  Luckily we just maybe got 4" yesterday?

I had a super productive, yet fun weekend.  On the productive side, I filed my taxes, studied for 11 hours, got caught up on ironing, ran 6 chilly miles outdoors, assembled and froze the lasagna that I'll make for my dinner party next weekend, and cleaned out/purged 2 closets!  On the fun side, I went out to dinner with a couple I hadn't seen in about a year, had fun at a game night at Phil's where I learned how to play a new game (Catan, it's a favorite game in his group of friends), caught up with Mandy on the phone, and ended the weekend with a video knitting night chat with Becky and Kyla!

Oy vey.  I almost get tired just typing that all out...  It was a fun, full weekend, but I can't say I felt all that relaxed and refreshed at the end.  Instead I feel sort of exhausted and spread thin as I moved from one thing to the next with very little downtime.  But I think I just have to accept that this is how life will be until after the move... or until after the CFA exam in June most likely.  I struggled with feeling overwhelmed and spread thin last year when studying for level II and those feelings are exacerbated this year since I now have to fit in pre-moving tasks and trying to see as many family and friends as I possibly can before I move in early April.

So in the mean time, I am trying to find time each day and each weekend to do something for myself, whether that is going for a run or spending an hour reading.  And I am reminding myself that this is a temporary phase and that life will return to normal soon (well, at least a new normal as I'll be in Charlotte when things slow down eventually).

I am also trying to not put too much pressure on myself to SEE EVERYONE and DO EVERYTHING I think I should before moving.  I have a limited amount of free time and I want to spend a significant amount of that free time with Phil before moving, which might mean saying no to some dinners or happy hours that I'd like to say yes to... 

What do you do when you start to feel overwhelmed?  Are you good at making time for yourself during the busiest seasons of your life?

Virtual Friday Coffee Date

Both Amber and Kelly did this lately (post idea via Jenna's blog), and I thought it was a fun way to catch up on what is new in their life, so I thought I'd play along! 

If we were having coffee this morning...

... I'd tell you that I feel really blessed to have so many people in my life that made me feel so special and loved on my birthday.  The number of emails, cards, texts, tweets, and facebook messages, as well as in person birthday celebration with Phil, friends, and family really made my day.

... I'd tell you that it's been a month since I found out about my relocation and that I am certain I have cried more tears in the last 30 days than I have in my any other month of my life, and that I wish that a) I wasn't a crier and b) tears were something that had an on/off switch as I have cried at some rather inopportune moments.

... I'd tell you that I am trying to fight the feelings of sadness by creating a virtual inspiration board with pictures of the things I want to do and the places I want to visit to help spark some positivity and excitement about the move!

... I'd shift from these heavier move-related topics and tell you I am looking forward to celebrating Valentine's Day with Phil next week, hosting a dinner party next Saturday, and spending a day with my nephews next Sunday!

... I'd tell you that I am really excited to register and start planning my trip to Chicago for the marathon!  I'll be running it with Amber, Anais, and Lauren, and Kelly will come spectate! And Nilsa lives there!  So there is lots to look forward to for that trip!  I may or may not already have my long runs scheduled in my planner.  ;)

Your turn!  If we were having coffee this morning, what would you tell me?

The Road Not Taken

This is going to be a more pensive, sad kind of post because that is how I feel some days.  I certainly don't feel sad every day or even most of the day.  But I do feel sad some days, which is to be expected.  And I think writing about how I truly feel about things - instead of painting a picture of a life lived with ease - may be one of the best ways to deal with these feelings and attempt to put them behind me. 

When people ask me how I am doing, which, as you can imagine, is the most frequently asked question these days, the best way I can sum up the experience thus far is that it feels like I am having an out of body experience.  It doesn't really feel real.  Instead it feels like something that is happening to someone else.  It's like I am looking at listings online for apartments that someone else will live in, and I am researching areas around Charlotte that someone else will visit for a weekend getaway.  It doesn't really feel like it's my life.  It feels like a string of hypothetical decisions.  Decisions like, if I had to live in Charlotte, what area would I live in?  What run club would I join?  Where would I grocery shop?  I think through all of these decisions, but it doesn't seem possible that I will be living with these decision, because I never once pictured a scenario that involved moving to Charlotte.

But, it is slowly starting to feel more real.  Experiences like signing the relocation agreement (I have a year commitment), being assigned a relocation coordinator, and making the move "Facebook official" made it feel slightly more real last week, and I had a bit of a breakdown on Friday night when talking about it with Phil.  I imagine that it will feel even more real when I go to Charlotte at the end of the month and show my mom where I will be working and walk through apartments that I may potentially call home. And then it will REALLY feel real when I buy that one way ticket to Charlotte.

Right now, I see the fork in the road ahead of me, but it hasn't quite hit me that, as Robert Frost so eloquently describes in the poem "The Road Not Taken", I am taking the road less traveled.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that passing there

Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost, 1920

I have all these thoughts about the upcoming move, and I read Robert Frost's poem, and I think to myself:  I hope someday I tell the story of this move with a (happy) sigh and say that taking this road has made all the difference - or at least that it is not a road I regret taking. 

On the Road Again...

Good morning and happy Wednesday!  I hope your week is going well thus far.  Mine has been really busy as I am juggling relocation stuff with a busy work week that includes a quick 2 day work trip to Austin.  I was hoping to have more downtime since one of my best friends lives there, but my 2 days got so booked up with multiple client meetings, a work dinner, and a presentation. 

I'm looking forward to getting out of the office for a couple of days and am going to fit in a breakfast with my friend and her daughter on Thursday morning!  It's my friend's birthday on Friday so it will be nice to hand deliver her gift for the first time in years!  I used to visit her around this time of year as our birthdays are just days apart, but that hasn't worked in years past due to my stupid CFA study schedule.  If it wasn't for that test, I would have definitely spent the weekend with her in Austin (plus the high tomorrow is sub-zero so I could really use some Texas sun right about now).

I have to study on both plane rides to hit my study goal for the week but I am also planning to make what I imagine will be a LONG list of to-do's in preparation for my move.  I have never moved more than 4 hours away, so this whole moving 1,000+ miles away is going to be quite the experience for me.  I am already starting to feel a little panicky about everything because I keep thinking of things I need to do, like talk to my tenant, start the lease-breaking process, and start purging possessions that I haven't used since I moved into my condo ~2 years ago, among other small things like submitting a change of address form, updating my car insurance policy, etc.  Some things will have to wait until I have moved, some can be done before, but I figure if I come up with a master list that I can break into weekly tasks, it will feel less overwhelming - kind of how breaking marathon training in 18 weeks makes it see doable.

Have you ever moved far away?  What was most overwhelming for you?  I am most overwhelmed by finding an apartment and the logistics of the move, meaning timing the packing of goods and how to handle that time period between when the truck leaves with my possessions/car, and when it arrives in Charlotte...  I know it will all work out and at this point I am thinking I will try to stay in Minneapolis as long as possible so I have as few days as possible in Charlotte without my possessions and a car... 

Bucket List

One night on the way home from a dinner out with Phil (yep, that is my boyfriends name, I am not going the nickname route this time around), we drove by a BBQ place and I said - 'Oh, we should go to Brasa sometime for BBQ.' - to which he agreed as he also likes this place (which I especially love because almost the entire menu is GF and thus safe fo rme).  A minute passed and I said, 'Oh and we should go out for brunch sometime!  We have never gone out for brunch!'  He paused before responding and said - 'you are making a bucket list, aren't you?'

And I think that is the moment that the fact that I was likely going to be moving away became a bit more real.

So yes, I have started to formulate a bucket list.  It feels a bit weird to be making one because while I can't say this with 100% certainty because life is full of surprises, I really know in my heart that I will be back eventually.  I truly don't see Charlotte being a long-term home for me.  So I don't have this feeling that I MUST DO EVERYTHING.  But I do want to make sure I fit in a handful of experiences before I leave.  I do not have the most flexible schedule or all that much free time since CFA studying eats up many of my evening and weekend hours and I'll also be busy preparing for this move, so I created a realistic, do-able list.  Here is what I've come up with so far!

1.  Spend an afternoon with my local nephews.  I am hoping to find a free Sunday afternoon in March to take them out to lunch and to a bookstore for the afternoon.  I'll really miss seeing my nephews on a regular basis so I definitely want to soak up some time with them.

2.  Eat at some of my favorite places with Phil.  So far my list includes brunch at Wilde Roast Cafe (I love the atmosphere there), sushi at my favorite place, Fuji-Ya, happy hour at my favorite Mexican place, Masa, which has THE BEST margaritas for $5 and the best tacos for $3, and dinner at Brasa.

3.  The "Bunny Run" followed by brunch afterwards at Elsie's.  The Bunny Run is one of my favorite long run routes as we run along 3 local lakes and the turnaround point is this bizarre bunny statue in South Minneapolis.  The group's favorite brunch spot is Elsie's which is a cheap bowling alley/restaurant in Northeast Minneapolis.  I am really, really sad to say good bye to my run club friends, and I am sad that I will have to resign from the Run Club Board, which I JUST became a member of in December. :(

4.  Have friends over for dinner.  I love having people over for dinner but haven't in over a year!  I am planning on having a small group of people over in mid-February for lasagna!

It's a relatively short bucket list, but I think it's do-able.  I was able to extend my Charlotte start date to April 8th so I can spend Easter with my family, so that means I have just over 2 months to enjoy Minneapolis and the close proximity of friends and family to the fullest!

If you found out you were moving in 2 months, what experiences would make your bullet list?