Monday, August 29, 2022

Somewhat Rainy Weekend Recap

We had a fairly rainy weekend this past weekend. We really need the rain but I wish it would come during the week! It didn't hamper our weekend plans too much, though. 

On Friday night, we went over to a friend's house and ordered pizza for the adult and made frozen pizza for the kids. There is a local pizza place (Good Times) that is sort of known for its pepperoni and pickle pizza. I LOVE pickles so had to try this option, on a GF crust. The verdict? It was good/interesting but I wouldn't order it again. But it's good to try new things!


The kids had a blast playing together - there were 5 kids ranging in age from 3.5 to almost 7 plus toddler Will. It was hard to get Paul to leave. We drove separately so one parent could go home with Will around 7 and the other could stay a bit longer. Phil let me stay longer since he got to socialize with this group last weekend while I stayed home with Will. I had to set multiple timers to get Paul to leave around 8:15 and then he nearly fell asleep on the 10 minute drive home!

Saturday was my morning to sleep in and then I ran with my neighbor when I woke up which I felt some guilt over as that added 50 minutes of solo parenting for Phil. So he had the kids from about 6-9. I have a real problem with guilt over things like this even though I shouldn't. I did a lot of solo parenting this summer when Phil swam on one weeknight and Sunday mornings. I haven't asked him but I am pretty sure he never felt guilt over swimming and wasn't adding up his minutes of solo parenting to make sure it was balanced. 

I got my share of solo parenting later that morning though as Phil grocery shopped and I took the boys to the library and then to gymnastics class. They are both still enjoying it, but I commented to another parent at the end of class that having Will in gymnastics is like bringing a cat to gymnastics. His attention span is very short, he doesn't want to do some of the things, really wants to do others, and he's so distracted by what Pablo is doing, and so on. But it's still better than trying to coral him in the watching area while Paul does his class! I know it will only get easier as he gets older, though, and the class is great for his gross motor skills.

Paul had a birthday party that afternoon from 1-3. There was a big bouncy house with a slide so he loved that. It was sprinkling/lightly raining for much of the party so at the end of the 2 hours he was probably the most dirty he has ever been! I had him change into a different set of clothes before we left so he wouldn't be sitting in wet clothes on the 15 minute drive home and then a bath was necessary immediately when we got home. Phil stayed behind with Will and unfortunately he took an hour nap which is typical for him. After dinner that night, I took the boys for a walk/scoot so Phil could mow the lawn. I think it was only the 4th or 5th time he mowed this summer thanks to our drought. We water some parts of our lawn sparingly to keep them from dying but don't water as much a home with a sprinkler system does, so that's why we've had to mow so little. 

On Sunday Will had his last swimming lesson. We'll be taking a break as I don't like having activities on both Saturday and Sunday morning. After his lessons we hung around the house since it was still wet/soggy outside thanks to more rain. I was hoping for a nice long nap but Will slept for an hour again. But Phil took him for a walk so I could get more of a break. After the walk, Paul and Phil headed out to Phil's mom's so I was on Will duty for the rest of the day. We went for a long 4+ mile walk around Lake Harriet. It was sooo humid but a humid walk > being inside with a toddler. 


Waving goodbye to some ducks we saw in the lake

Then I spent the rest of the day killing time in the basement. Will enjoyed having all of the toys to himself and to my chagrin, he practiced walking up the stairs using the bannister. Paul did not attempt to walk up the stairs until he was 2.5-3, I think. It's fascinating how different kids are! Will is way more physical, gets into more things, etc. Paul is our rule follower that we never had to babyproof for because it did not occur to him to open the kitchen cabinets! We were also house hunting when Paul was a toddler so didn't want to babyproof a house we were likely selling soon. We babyproofed our new house shortly after buying it, though, and that has paid off with curious Will.


Phil and Paul got home around 7:45 so I did Paul's bedtime and then we watched half an episode of Alone and then I went up to bed to read. 

All in all a pretty good weekend, although the rain made it much harder to get out of the house. Ideally we would have gone to the park one or both days but it was too wet for that. There was a lot of trading off of watching one or both kids. It probably sounds like we don't spend much time together as a family of 4 but it works best to kind of divide and conquer and we each get one morning to sleep in on the weekends. I think it will look different when our kids are a bit older, sleep better, and can do more of the same activities. Next weekend all 4 of us will be going out to my MIL's next weekend for an afternoon, to a birthday party and I think to the zoo. So we'll get lots of time together as a family of 4 then! We try to find a balance but there are things that it's best to do with just one kid - like the birthday party over naptime on Saturday - and Phil and I value alone time to recharge our batteries.

How was your weekend? If you have kids, do/did you and your spouse divide and conquer now or when they are younger or did you tend to always be together? I don't think there is one right way to do it, personally, but am always curious about how others parent.

12 comments:

NGS said...

We used to live right off Lake Harriet when we were newlyweds! We joked that everyone walking around the lake got a stroller and a Golden retriever handed to them. It made me nostalgic to think about you (with your stroller!) walking around. It's such a beautiful area.

Elisabeth said...

We definitely do the whole divide-and-conquer thing (more now, I think than when the kids were younger). That said I think it would be ideal to do even more of this. Lately it has been a bit harder since during the pandemic we went down to a single vehicle, so it's a bit more complicated to split up these days.

I am SO with you on the guilt when I leave John doing solo-parenting duty. He never feels guilty when he goes off (though I sometimes give him grief since I've done SO much solo parenting over the years)! I don't have a solution, but I totally feel guilty if I'm "away too long." He never makes me feel this way, by the way, so my guilt is 100% self-induced.

Lisa G said...

Hi! We have B\G twins who are 4. We spend most of our time dividing & conquering. I look forward to family time, but with two full time working parents and kids who are only in preschool 9 hours/WEEK we divide and (mostly) conquer nearly everything. One more year then I hope things will ease up when they’re in kindergarten and out of the house for longer hours.

Jeanie said...

It sounds like a pretty good weekend, all things considered, Lisa. The party sounds like a blast and I'm also glad you could get together with friends. Sorely needed. I wonder if it's a second-child thing, that boldness. It certainly worked that way with Carson and Cam, same with the development (that part doesn't surprise me). But the boldness and daring -- definitely more in the younger.

It was a good weekend for me. Friends for dinner on Friday; Rick and his mom went to see the grands on Saturday and she left Sunday so I had some home-alone time. Also sorely needed!

Nicole MacPherson said...

What do you call motherhood without guilt?
Fatherhood!
Lol, I get that totally. I used to feel guilty as well, and why? I mean, they are my husband's kids too! These things always even out in the end, I think, but we are the ones that feel guilty about it! Anyway, glad you had a nice weekend (not sure about the pickle pizza although I do love pickles...)

dailycandy said...

Im a local and have never heard of that pizza joint. Is it new or just a little neighborhood place I havent heard of?

I was just commenting how strange of a summer it was, not to hear the mowers out much.

Im sure you have heard all the commotion about the pickle pizza at the State Fair this year. Maybe you can recreate that at home with a GF crust. It seems like it has a white sauce?

My son sounds a lot like Pablo. When he was young, I didnt really have to worry much about cupboards or stairs. He just knew not to do it.

Suzanne said...

Oh, the guilt! I get that so much, I truly do. But I agree that your husband probably doesn't feel guilty. It's such a hard thing to turn off though.

And your comment about Will at gymnastics really takes me back to when my kiddo was small and we took her to the baby gym a few times. She LOVED it but we never signed her up for a regular class (we'd just go on rainy days) so she didn't get into the routine of it. It was such a free-for-all, with her tearing around from device to device. Those years were so hard in so many ways, and you are in the thick of it! The stairs! And the baby proofing! And the early mornings! It definitely gets better. My kid is currently reading while she eats breakfast and I type in the other room, and she will rinse her own dishes and put them in the dishwasher and go brush her own teeth and hair with minimal supervision. It gets better. :-)

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

@ Dailycandy - it is a small neighborhood spot in the Kingfield area. The friends we got together with are huge fans of this place so I've been wanting to try it for ages, especially after my husband raved about it!

Grateful Kae said...

You definitely shouldn't be adding up parenting minutes!! I am quite sure it will balance out in the end, if not end up leaning in your direction (remember pumping and breast feeding and oh, 9 months of pregnancies?? ;)

Sounds like a good weekend! (I'm behind on commenting...I've fallen into a bad habit of waking up in the morning and then laying in bed and scrolling on my phone for 20 minutes or so, including reading blogs on Feedly...and I hate commenting from my phone! So then I log back in later and forget what I wanted to say, in the moment. lol.)

And ewwww to that pizza!! Sorry! But I hate pickles!! The pepperoni part looks delicious though- those look nice and just crispy enough and not soggy. yummy! If I could sub jalapenos for the pickles, now we'd be talking. hahaha.

Jenny said...

This post reminds me of an e-card I saw years ago where the woman is saying, "Woohoo, it's Friday! Oh wait- I'm a mom." Ha ha... remember when weekends were your time off? You're definitely in the hardest part, with a toddler. It sounds like what you guys are doing is perfect. If you tried to force more "family" time you would just end up exhausted and frustrated, and the kids would be cranky.
As far as feeling guilty- when my kids were little I heard a quote that was something like, "it's more important to be generous than equal." Meaning, you're not trying to make sure you and Phil have the exact same hours and minutes to yourselves, but rather you're each trying to be generous to the other person. i'm sure Phil didn't begrudge you that run!

San said...

Well, I obviously have no personal experience but I can see how dividing the kids up and doing separate things can be easier, especially when they're not the same age and can't do the same things. I also don't think that there is a right or wrong way to do things...every (set of) parent(s) has to figure that out for themselves.

Stephany said...

I'm sure it's really hard not to feel guilty about leaving Phil on solo parent duty in the mornings while you sleep in/do something for you (like a run). But you're right - Phil is likely not doing the same, and considering everything you dealt with during pregnancy for those boys, you have MORE than earned some time off from parenting. :)

Pepperoni and pickle pizza - what an interesting combination! It's fun to try new things, even if they don't wind up being a new fave.