Advent Week 4: Peace

And just like that, it's the last week of Advent!  The theme of the final week of advent is peace.  I think peace is something that we all strive for.  We want to live in a peaceful world, we seek peace in our relationships, and we want to be at peace with the decision we make in life.

I think about this week in comparison to last year, and am sort of blown away by how much more peaceful my life is.  A year ago today, I ended my relationship with the Barrister (my nickname for my last boyfriend for those of you who weren't reading along last year).  There is no great time to end a relationship, but the week of Christmas is especially bad.  Presents for him and his family were under my tree.  I had made plans to join his family on Christmas Day.  But there was such a lack of peace in that relationship, I could not stay in the relationship just because it was Christmas week.  Instead of peace, there was a horrible feeling of panic and anxiety when I thought about our future together as we had some major differences that I knew we'd never work through, regardless of how much we tried to talk through those differences.  It was difficult to end the relationship as I did really care for him, but I felt at peace with my decision.

Flash forward a year, and there is much more of a sense of peace.  This year, though, I have figured out that peace is a choice.  If something is coming between you and a sense of peace, then you make changes - whether it's ending a relationship, changing professions, or whatever other change is necessary to feel at peace with your life.
 

"Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away." ~ Robert Fulghum

In closing, I'd like to thank you all for all the thought, interesting comments you've left on my advent series posts.  I have enjoyed reflecting on the season and advent and appreciate all the positive feedback I've received!

I'll close with my favorite scripture passage about peace:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Phillipians 4:6-7)

Advent Week 3: Joy

As a child, my favorite week of advent was the 3rd week because we would get to light the pink candle on the advent wreath (the other 3 are purple).  The four themes of advent are hope, love, joy, and peace, and when you reflect on the meaning of the words, it makes sense that joy would get a different color candle as its meaning does stand out in comparison to the other words.  Hope, love, and peace are more often quietly expressed - but joy seems to be more outwardly professed. 

I think it's good to ask yourself whether you feel a sense of joy in your life or not.  I know that life is not all sunshine and rainbows and professions of joy - but if your life is completely void of joy, and has been for an extended period of time, it could be a signal that things are amiss. 

I remember having a conversation with a good friend a couple of years ago when I was in a serious relationship.  She talked about what it was like when she met and dated her husband.  She said the best way to describe the relationship was that she was filled with joy when they were together.  Now, it wasn't a non-stop sense of joy, but in general, her time spent with her husband brought her joy.  I remembered listening to her and thinking how much joy was lacking in my relationship with my boyfriend.  Actually, there really wasn't much joy at all, instead I would say there was a 'heaviness' to our interactions that is hard to explain and is something that can probably only be understood by a person who has found themselves in the wrong relationship. That relationship came to an end eventually, but that conversation about joy (and my reflection on the lack of it) was part of what prompted me to think about whether I wanted to stay in that relationship.

These days, I feel lucky that I have such a feeling of joy about my life.  It hasn't happened overnight and it hasn't been easy, but I've made changes in my life to bring myself more joy -  from ending a relationship to moving into a new home to finding a job that is fulfilling.  These changes have required courage, faith, and, to some extent, boldness, but the end result has been worth it.  The culmination of all of these changes have resulted in others saying that I seem like a different, happier person these days.  There is a spring in my step, I am more quick to laugh and smile, and I have shaken the tangible sense of 'heaviness' that I carried around with me for the first half of the year.

Now I find joy in the little things, like a hug from a nephew, cuddling with my niece, enjoying a latte, finishing a great run, or having coffee with a friend.  Life is not perfect, but I choose to focus on the things that bring me joy. 

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."  (John 15:11)

Advent: Week 2: Love

Good Morning and happy Monday to everyone.  I hope you all had a great weekend.  Mine did not start out so great.  I got the stomach flu on Friday.  It was HORRIBLE.  I am a total and complete baby when I am sick and I was really wishing I could teleport my mom to my condo.  No one can take care of you like your mom can, in my opinion.  I think it's a combination of them knowing what you want/need when you are sick and loving you unconditionally.  So while many people would be disgusted by your illness, your mom's love for you looks past the grossness and just wants to comfort you.

What a lovely little segue into this week's Advent post, huh?  The theme for the 2nd week of Advent is Love.  In the immortal words of the Prime Minister's monologue (Hugh Grant's character) in Love Actually,

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around."

I like this monologue because it addresses many of the forms of love.  It's a well-known fact that suicide rates increase during the holiday season.  Sadly, this "most wonderful time of year" can be a time of isolation and loneliness for some for a plethora of reasons.  As Mother Teresa said, "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."  I know it oversimplifies the issue of depression and suicide to sum it up and blame it on people hungering for love and personal connections, but I think that is a large part of the problem.

I feel very lucky and blessed as I most certainly do not feel an absence of love in my life.  Yes, I could focus on the fact that I am not married or dating anyone right now, but there is so much love in my life, I find it easier to overlook that a significant other is not part of my life right now.  Instead I focus on love from God, family, my nephews and niece (who fall into the family category, but warrant a special mention because they make me feel especially loved), and friends.

So this holiday season, I am choosing to focus on all of the love in my life, and I want to make a conscious effort to let the others in my life know they are loved and appreciated, through both my words and my actions.  I'll be sharing a little project later this week that ties in well with this message of spreading more love, so be sure to tune in on Wednesday to hear more about that.

I'll close with a scripture verse that emphasizes using actions, instead of words: 

"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18)

Advent: Week 1: Hope

Happy Monday, everyone!  I hope that my American readers all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Mine really could not have been better.  It was filled with family, good food, great conversations, and board games.  I'll be recapping it later this week!

Today I am kicking off a 4-week post series about the season of Advent.  Advent began yesterday and for those unfamiliar with this season, it is a 4 week preparation for Christmas that is recognized by most Western Christian churches.  I did a similar post series the first year I started this blog so I decided to bring it back this year. 

Advent is one of my favorite times of the year, mostly because of the fond memories I have of it from my childhood.  Each night, we would try to gather as a family to light a candle on the Advent wreath.  We'd pray together as a family, and then we'd all gather around the piano and my mom would play Christmas Carols and we'd all sing along.  It was a really nice way to end the day together as a family.

It seems like the Christmas Season is so rushed these days.  While I love the hustle and bustle, the shopping and holiday parties, I also miss the quieter times of Advents of my youth.  So this post series is my attempt to recapture some of the peace and quiet of the Advent season.  Each week I'll post some of my reflections about the theme of the week.  Regardless of your position on faith and Christianity, hopefully you'll find these posts worth reading. 

The theme for week 1 of Advent is Hope.  In the words of Emily Dickinson: 

"Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sing the tune without the words and never stops... at all."

I am not going to even try to pretend that I have always remained hopeful.  Through the trials and tribulations of life, my sense of hope has faded and soared in regards to my career, my general direction in life, and my dating life.  No matter what I am going through, though, my mom is always quick to remind me to remain hopeful. 

Sometimes, though, it almost seems easier to choose despair.  At least that is the case for me.  Having hope for things in life kind of scares me sometimes because I feel like you may potentially be setting yourself up for disappointment.  I used to think:  What if I remain hopeful that my future will involve a husband and children - and then that never happens?  Does hope create more disappointment in the end? 

These days, I remain hopeful, but in a different way.  I don't hope for specific things, like a husband.  Instead, I remain hopeful that my life will turn out just as it is supposed to - whatever that means.  I will close with my favorite verse of scripture that I focus on when I find myself being tempted to choose despair over hope:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)"

Advent Week 4: Love

I just lit the final candle of the Advent wreath; Christmas is just days away. My presents are all bought and wrapped and I am knitting up a storm, trying to finish all my ornaments before Wednesday! I'm looking forward to gathering with family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Tonight I pause to reflect on the emphasis of the 4th week of Advent: Love. There are so many directions I could go with this post. Love, in my opinion, is the best gift you can give and receive. I am lucky to have been raised in a house filled with love. No conversation with a family member ends without an "I Love You," and my somewhat reserved father always says it when hugging me good-bye after a visit home.

This past year has taught me a lot about love. I went through a difficult break-up in January that left me feeling pretty hopeless. As the months passed by, I watched a couple of friends get married, celebrated a few friends' engagements, and learned that my baby sister was getting married next August. I was so happy for all of them but couldn't help but feel that while they were moving forward with their lives, I was standing completely still. There were a lot of tearful nights, phone calls to my mom and girlfriends, and some heavy conversations with my brother Kevin.

While I wouldn't wish to go through that break-up and its aftermath again, I have learned lessons that I wouldn't have learned otherwise. I have learned that I have a family that is truly there for me. I have grown closer to my brother Kevin, and his family, and now know that if I ever feel alone or lonely, I am always welcome there. I've learned that it's ok to reach out to family and friends and that I shouldn't feel guilty for needing to do so.

I don't know what path God has chosen for my life, but I know this past year has made me a stronger, healthier, happier individual. I'm so much happier and at peace than I was last year at this time.

The love and support I have experienced over the past year doesn't even compare to the love we receive from God. God's love is never-ending and He loves us for who we are, bad habits, sins, and all. I try to focus on that whenever I am feeling down. After all, through God, all things are possible. So I will continue to put my trust in Him and will remain hopeful that 2009 will be a blessed year for me.

I'll leave you with a line of scripture that sums up the meaning of the Advent season and God's love for us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

Advent Week 3: Joy

Week 3, with its emphasis on Joy, is upon us. This week, we light the only pink candle on the advent wreath. The purple candles represent the penitential focus of Advent. This penitential focus is usually associated with the season of Lent, but we are also called to repent and re-focus our lives during the Advent season. Week 3 comes along, though, as a sort of 'light at the end of the tunnel' - reminding us that the birth of Jesus is near.

When meditating on what it means to be Joyful this week, the bible verse that first came to me is from the book of John:

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." (John 15: 9-11)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Advent Season!

Advent Week 2: Peace

It's hard to believe that we are already at the half-way point of the Advent Season. Christmas is sneaking up on me!

The focus of the 2nd week of Advent is Peace. I must say, I feel more 'at peace' with where I am in with my life than I have in the long time. I don't know what God has in store for me - I certainly have a 'wish list' which includes a husband and children, but for now I am completely happy with where I am at. I have an incredible family, a great group of friends, and a career that is heading in the right direction.

When I was younger, I remember asking my mom want she wanted for Christmas & often times, she'd say: Peace in this house. With 5 kids, you are bound to have the occasional squabble... And all mom wanted was an Advent Season & Christmas Holiday with no arguing & fighting. 20 years later, we are usually able to give her this... usually!

I think the best reflection of this week is St. Theresa's Prayer:

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God.

Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

Dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Amen

Advent Week 1: Hope

If you ask my best friend Brooke - 'what is Lisa's favorite season of the year?' - I'd bet that she'd get it right. My favorite season is Advent. Why does Brooke know this? She knows this because we traveled to Germany & Prague together 4 years ago, during the season of Advent. Let me tell you, those Europeans know how to celebrate the coming of Christmas! They had these huge, outdoor Christmas Markets with lots of hand made goods, sweets, and mulled wine (something Brooke loved). While I was there, I was searching for an Advent Calendar. I had heard about them from a friend, years ago. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to describe what I was looking for... and I didn't speak any German... So shopping for that item was a bit of a bust! Hopefully some day I'll find one, though. My understanding of said Calendar is that it is made of wood, with little doors that open. That's all I know though! So if anyone knows what I am taking about, and where I can find one, let me know!! Probably not something I need until I have kids, so I figure I have time to look for it!

Anyways. Back to the Season of Advent. I have so many fond memories of celebrating Advent as a child. Every night during Advent, we'd light the candle(s) and say a prayer. Then mom would play Christmas Carols and us kids would sing along. Seriously. As I type this, it sounds like something from a"Hallmark Special" or something! But that was my childhood. As we got older, that traditional fell by the wayside due to busy schedules and other commitments. I'll never forget those winter nights spent around the Advent Wreath, though, and hope to continue that tradition some day when I have a family.

For now, I am celebrating it on my own in my condo. Each Sunday I'll light a candle and prepare for the week of Advent. The Christmas Season always flies by; with all the holiday parties, baking, and shopping, it's easy for the days to go by in a blur. Hopefully by slowing down on Sunday and thinking about the reason for the season, it'll make time go more slowly!

The theme of the first week of Advent is "Hope." Feeling a sense of hope, in my opinion, is crucial to a person's happiness. If I am honest, there have definitely been times where I've felt a little bit hopeless. I give into those feelings during moments of weakness, but usually snap out of them quickly, most often due to a conversation with my mom, Brooke, or Heidi. If I'm feeling particularly low, I have a bible verse that I like to read. My Grandma Dotzenrod emailed it to me when I told her about my recent break-up with Ryan. I was feeling pretty darn hopeless. Grandma Janet is a wise woman though, and knew the perfect words to help comfort me and give me hope. Hopefully they help you if you are ever feeling down and hopeless.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)