It's Time

2 sets of textbooks, 9 practice tests, and a binder containing 3 packs of note paper of hand written notes.  All of that, with the exception of a couple of last minute things I need to review today, has been packed away.  I am very happy to reclaim my dining room table from the death grip of the CFA (and it has rarely looked this tidy...  it's usually a chaotic mess). 


It's almost here - the final level of the CFA.  I know some people in my life have questioned my desire to pursue this designation (and I have questioned it myself considering the sacrifices I have had to make) but hopefully all of my hard work and perseverance pays off.  I've spent over 400 hours over the course of the last 23 weeks studying for this exam and I can honestly say I couldn't have studied any harder than I have.  The bulk of the studying has been done at my dining room table, but I've studied in airports, airplanes, hotel rooms, and coffee shops.  This CFA study season will go down as the most volatile of the three, as just weeks into the study season, I found out I'd be moving across the country. I've tried my best to rise above all the volatility, but it has been far from easy and I will say that the last 5 months of my life have been some of the toughest today.

But exam day is tomorrow, so soon enough I can put all this craziness behind me.  It's a 6 hour exam broken into 2 3-hour sessions.  The format of the morning half is essays, the afternoon half is case studies with multiple choice.  I know it will be hard, but I know I am as prepared as I can be.  The pass rate is still quite low for this level (50%) which is mind boggling considering it's only around 40% for the first 2 levels..  So as much as my family and friends continue to assert that I AM going to pass, I also know there is a chance I won't given that pass rate.  But I am trying not to think about that too much.

I arrived last night and am staying with my aunt & uncle until after the exam, when I will see Phil (he is taking level 3 as well, and is studying quite a bit in the days leading up to the exam, so we are waiting until after the exam to spend time together... not ideal, but it's the way it goes. After all, it's probably the most important test we'll take in our lives).  Tonight I am going out to dinner with one of my local best friends at the Mexican place I always eat at the night before, and tomorrow night I will celebrate having the beast of exam behind me by going to a different Mexican restaurant with family (yes, Mexican two nights in a row.  There is no such thing as too much Mexican food in my world).

So wish me luck, cross your fingers, and say a prayer for me tomorrow that this my final time of sitting for the CFA!  I'll check in next week to let you know how it went!

The Final Countdown

385 hours down, and about 28 hours to go.  Study hours that is.  While most of America will be out gallivanting and celebrating the unofficial start to summer, I'll be hunkering down and putting in lots of study hours since this is my LAST weekend before the test.  All I can say is THANK GOD it's the last weekend because I honestly can not handle any more study-centric weekends.  If you look up burned out in the dictionary, you might see a picture of me.  I'm definitely counting down the hours left of studying and the days until the exam.

I once again have a weekend that is void of social plans, but such is the life of a CFA candidate (and a transplant).  I just hope and pray that this is my LAST Memorial Day weekend that I spend studying!  If I pass this test, all the hand work and sacrifices will be worth it.  If I don't?  Well, let's not go there because it probably involves a room with padded walls.  I am kidding.  Sort of.

This next week is going to be hectic for me, to say the least, so my posting will be light next week.  I have a business trip to Orlando so will fly out for that on Monday evening, and will return to Charlotte on Wednesday afternoon.  Then I fly to Minneapolis on Thursday afternoon for the CFA test weekend!!  Even though I am returning home for a not-so-fun reason, I am still really looking forward to it as I'll see Phil, spend some time with friends, and see some family.  I am mostly looking forward to the post-CFA Mexican fiesta that we have each year!

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend - especially those who have a long weekend!  I am sure I'll be back later next week to check in before the big day.

Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?  I had hoped to kick off the weekend by going to "Before Midnight" but it turns out it is only playing in NYC and LA.  :(  So instead I am going to take tonight mostly off from studying and will do a little retail therapy and treat myself to sushi.

3 Things Thursday

Happy almost Friday, everyone!  After a heavy, long-winded post yesterday (thanks for all the thoughtful, encouraging comments by the way!), I figured today was a day for a 3-bullet point post!  So here's what's on my mind!

1.  It's "Speed Week" here in Charlotte, which is a celebration in uptown Charlotte in the days leading up to the Coca Cola 600 (a NASCAR race).  From what I've heard, it's like a miniature State Fair (i.e. good people watching).  Some have asked if I will ever go to a NASCAR race.  My answer is HELL NO.  It is just not an experience that I need to have.  I still can't believe that my company's relocation department put "Charlotte = NASCAR" on the fact sheet about the city.  Was that supposed to be a selling point for this city?  #fail

2.  I haven't bought a single article of clothing since I moved to Charlotte, so I think I am due for a little shopping this weekend.  I'm thinking that another pair of cropped colored pants is in my future - perhaps in a mint green color.  We'll see what I find.

3.  I had another follow-up appointment with my doctor yesterday. I have one more week in the boot, bringing the total to 6 weeks. After that, I can transition to solely wearing tennis shoes.  When he told me this I stopped him and said, "wait, do you mean to say I have to wear tennis shoes at work with work clothes?"  The answer was yes.  No, the boot hasn't been fashionable, but at least it's obvious that I am injured.  It won't be when I wear tennis shoes 24/7.  So I will be fashion road kill for a week as I rock the work clothes + tennis shoes look.  I'm going to get a lot of "the 80s called and they want that look back" comments, I think.  But whatever, I'll do what it takes to get back to running.  When I transition into tennis shoes, I can start taking walks, and then slowly transition back to a run/walk combo, and then running.  It's going to be a process, but hopefully in 3-4 weeks, I'll be back to running.  God knows I NEED the endorphins.  Badly.

Having It All?

While I have a lot on my mind with the upcoming CFA, adjusting to Charlotte, and working through this injury, I have also had a lot of downtime since I got to Charlotte.  And a lot of (solo) downtime means that I have had a lot of time to think over the last 6+ weeks.

I am too old for a quarter-life crisis and I am too young for a mid-life crisis, and I wouldn't use the word 'crisis' to describe my state of mind.  Maybe instead it would be better to call it a 'what exactly am I doing with my life' frame of mind. 

Years ago when I decided to pursue my MBA, I made a commitment to making my career one of the top priorities in my life.  Except my 25-year old self didn't really realize it then.  Getting my MBA just seemed like a natural next step and it was a personal accomplishment I wanted to have.  I did not properly consider the financial ramifications of that decision at the time.  Yes, I am financially secure and able to provide for myself and pay back my student loans, but the student loans associated with that MBA are a ball and chain around my neck that I tote around.  It dictates how much I need to earn, which means I have less flexibility when it comes to the kind of opportunities I pursue.

All this is not to say that I don't want a challenging career.  I have worked hard to get to where I am at and have invested a lot of money in my education and time into the CFA.  And I like to be challenged.  I guess what I am questioning is how big of a career is big enough for me?  How many sacrifices - like the ones I am currently making - do I want to make along the way for my career?

I don't really know the answer to all of these questions.  A couple of years ago I thought I could have it all.  I could have a challenging career, live close to family, and hopefully one day get married and have kids.  Now?  I don't feel that way anymore.  Eventually, I'm going to have to make some choices and figure out what I want as I really never see myself living in Charlotte, working in my position, and having a husband and children.

Right now, I find myself in a position where I am putting my life on hold to focus on my career.  Don't get me wrong, I love my career and feel fortunate that I can say that.  I just don't know if I love it enough to let go of the other things that I want in life.  I thought for the longest time that if I just kept focusing on what was in my control (my career), the rest (marriage and a family) would fall into place on it's own.  But now that focus on my career has led me away from my boyfriend, family, and friends to a city where I would never want to settle down and raise a family.  Thus, I feel like I am getting further and further from what matters the most to me.  I could have a challenging, lucrative career, but what is the sense of earning more and more money if I don't have someone to eat dinner with or travel with, or friends to spend time with?  And if I continue down this path of only pursuing my career aspirations, what am I going to have to show for it at the end of my life? 

I guess it was inevitable that I was going to hit a fork in the road at some point that would require me to make somewhat of a choice between my career and my personal life.  I'm not saying it is an either/or proposition.  I know I can have a great career and a great personal life, I just don't feel like that is the case right now.

So at this point, my goal is to pay off my grad school loans as aggressively as I possibly can so that I will eventually have the financial flexibility to possibly take a pay cut in order to find a job in a geographical location that is closer to my family and friends. 

Have you ever found yourself questioning whether you are on the right path in life?  I think I am particularly struggling because I don't really feel like moving to Charlotte was a path I chose - it was something I felt like I had to do to ensure I'd have financial stability.  Nonetheless, I'm on this path and it's up to me to figure out how to change course.

90 Years

Grandma & I in 2009

This past Saturday, my grandma Janet turned 90!  It's kind of amazing and hard to wrap your mind around that.  I mean, I think of all the things she has experienced in her life from the depression in the 30s to WWII to the Vietnam war era to the technology era and the advent of computers to present day times.  She has clearly seen so much in her 90 years.  Besides all the things happening in the world, she raised 4 children with my grandpa and has many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She also survived the passing of my grandpa over 4 years ago which has left a giant hole in her life (and the life of all of my family members).  They truly had the most amazing marriage I have ever witnessed.  I never saw them exchange a cross word and they had neat rituals, such as memorizing poetry together while traveling across the country in their motor home.

I was fortunate enough to have lived less than a mile from my grandparents when I was growing up, so it was common for me to walk or bike down to their house for a visit.  I think I took the gift of their geographical proximity for granted as I was growing up, but as an adult, it is something I am definitely very thankful for.

I have so many great memories that I made with my grandma, from small things like spending afternoons with her as a kid to bigger things like going to California with her and my grandpa (and my sister, aunt, and cousin) in their motor home the summer after 6th grade.  As an adult, I cherish things like emails from her (yes, at age 90 she emails!) to playing scrabble (she always beats me with ease) to playing trivial pursuit to discussing our latest reads as we share a love of reading. 

I think my move to Charlotte has made me even more sympathetic to the challenge she has faced in carrying on without my grandpa.  While I can not even begin to imagine what it is like to lose a spouse (of 60+ years), I do know the lonely feeling of starting over.  We have shared experiences such as eating many meals alone and the difficulty of making friends. 

My family will gather next weekend to celebrate her wonderful 90 years of life. I will of course miss this celebration but I will definitely be there in spirit. 

Do you have any living grandparents?  My grandma Janet is my last living grandparent.  I am so thankful for all the memories I've made with her and hope that there are many more to come.

Book Review: Time of My Life

I typically stay away from books that fall under the "chick lit" category, but when I saw a Cecilia Ahern book on the list of books to review in May, I couldn't resist.  Plus these days my brain is so bogged down with the heaviness of CFA studying, I needed a little break!  The Time of My Life is Ahern's newest book which was released this spring. It tells the story of Lucy, a soon-to-be-30 woman who makes some poor decisions on the tale of a break-up. She tries to cover up the truth of what is happening in her life by telling a couple of lies... which lead to more lies...  She retreats within and shares less and less with her friends and family in an attempt to not reveal some of the lies she has told, until an intervention of sorts is staged.

It all comes to head when she has an appointment with "her life" - err, a character that represents her life.  He comes on the scene to straighten things out and to help her get back on the right path.  It's hard to explain the storyline of this book as it is unrealistic and very fictional...  but it works.

All in all, it's a light, easy read.  The storyline is pretty unrealistic, which kind of seems to be a trend for Ahern as one of her other books I read had an adult with an imaginary friend...  but she seems to make it work.  The main character, Lucy, is not exactly likeable and the extent of her lying was kind of annoying.  But it was a pretty light read, which was just what I needed right now. 

Looking Forward

It has been awhile since I've done a "Looking Forward" post, and given the tone of my recent posts, I am due for a dose of positivity!

• Today I am looking forward to meeting up with a work friend from Minneapolis for dinner! I'm taking her to the Harvest Moon Grille, which is a farm-to-table concept restaurant that is supposed to be GF friendly (we both have gluten intolerances).  It will be fun to see a familiar face and try a new restaurant.
• This week I am looking forward to checking out the aquatic center by my apartment.  I haven't swam laps in years and know it will be a great workout.
• This month I am looking forward to going to the movie, Before Midnight.  Before Sunrise and Before Sunset are 2 of my favorite movies so I am very excited to see the 3rd movie in this series.  It comes out on May 24th so that is how I will be kicking off my Memorial Day weekend, which will be mostly spent - you guessed it - studying.
• This summer I am looking forward to going to Raleigh in June to visit John and his family, DC in July to visit Becky, and NYC in August to visit Alli. I am also looking forward to hosting my best friend Heidi in August as well!
• This year I am looking forward to traveling to Chicago for the marathon (and am praying I will still be able to run it).  Amber, Anais, and Lauren are running it, as well as some people from my Minneapolis running club! Plus I will also see Nilsa and my brother and his family!  So it's going to be an awesome weekend.

Whew!  Lots to look forward to!  I just need to get through the next 17 days of studying!  For those who have ran a marathon, this month leading up to the test feels like 4 weeks in a row of your highest mileage week... I so wish CFA studying involved a taper but that is just not the case.  But the end is in sight!

What are you looking forward to these days?