Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I know this is a day that tends to be met with either excitement and enthusiasm... or groans of annoyance! I am in the excitement/enthusiasm camp, even though I've only had a boyfriend 3 out of my 32 Valentine's Days I've celebrated! I get that people hate the commercialized aspect of this holiday and hold the view that your love for others should be expressed every day - not just Valentine's day - and I completely agree with those views. But I like that there is a day each year that is dedicated to the expression of love - whether that is love for your significant other, family, friends, etc. So that is why I like this holiday!
Given the polarized view on this day, I thought it would be fun to do an "I'd Rather" post to sum up how I feel about today!
I'd Rather... - stay in and make dinner than eat out in a packed restaurant.
- receive French macaroons (especially salted caramel flavored) than flowers.
- receive flowers on a random day than on Valentine's Day, but would of course accept them today as well! :)
- receive tulips or gerber daisies or something like that than roses as roses don't seem to last very long - but would graciously accept any flowers that I received, of course!
- eat Laffy Taffy and conversation hearts than expensive chocolates (I'm not a huge chocolate person).
- celebrate the day running and take in this view...
and enjoy a post-run hot cocoa from Angelina's...
as I did 2 years ago today than celebrate in any other city!
- but... since a Valentine's Day trip to Paris is not in the cards anytime soon, I'd rather spend the holiday with Phil, cooking lentil enchiladas (his favorite meal I've made thus far), Spanish Rice, and Chocolate Souffles (wish me luck, this is a new recipe for me!) than spend the holiday any other way!
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Regardless of your relationship status, I hope that this day - and every day of the year - is filled with love!
As many of you know, today is Ash Wednesday, which is the beginning of the season of Lent. For those who are not familiar with this season, it is a 40-day periods during which Christians all over the world will prepare for the celebration of Easter. It is meant to be a time of sacrifice, prayer, and almsgiving (which is a fancy word for giving to those less fortunate, either financially or by volunteering).
I went back and forth as to what I should do this year. I honestly don't feel like I have many indulgences in my life. I rarely clothes shop, I don't eat sweets often, and I don't drink alcohol very regularly. Initially I thought about focusing on doing something extra, like going to daily mass once a week and praying the rosary instead of giving something up as I just couldn't think of anything that would be challenging enough.
And then I thought of something really challenging to give up yesterday. For the next 40 days, I am going to give up using my phone during work hours. I know that may not sound like much of a challenge to some people, but I am really bad about checking my phone constantly obsessively. Now, since I am in the midst of a move, I am going to let myself check my phone for 5 minutes over lunch to make sure I haven't missed any important phone calls or emails regarding my move, but besides that, I will not be using my phone between the hours of 7 am and 4:30 pm each day.
I know this will be challenging for me, which is what Lent is supposed to be all about! In addition to this, I still want to try to get to a daily mass each week, which is feasible since there is a Catholic church that is just over a block away from work so I can easily go before work or over lunch.
On a unrelated note, the fact that Lent starts today makes my move seem really soon as I will pack up and move the week after Easter. Eeks!
If you observe Lent, what will you be giving up this year? Would it be difficult for you to stop using your phone during the day?
Happy Monday! For those of you who were hit hard by a snow storm, I hope you are digging out! It was crazy to see how much snow the Northeast got over the weekend. I am SO glad that was not me as I am really over snow. Luckily we just maybe got 4" yesterday?
I had a super productive, yet fun weekend. On the productive side, I filed my taxes, studied for 11 hours, got caught up on ironing, ran 6 chilly miles outdoors, assembled and froze the lasagna that I'll make for my dinner party next weekend, and cleaned out/purged 2 closets! On the fun side, I went out to dinner with a couple I hadn't seen in about a year, had fun at a game night at Phil's where I learned how to play a new game (Catan, it's a favorite game in his group of friends), caught up with Mandy on the phone, and ended the weekend with a video knitting night chat with Becky and Kyla!
Oy vey. I almost get tired just typing that all out... It was a fun, full weekend, but I can't say I felt all that relaxed and refreshed at the end. Instead I feel sort of exhausted and spread thin as I moved from one thing to the next with very little downtime. But I think I just have to accept that this is how life will be until after the move... or until after the CFA exam in June most likely. I struggled with feeling overwhelmed and spread thin last year when studying for level II and those feelings are exacerbated this year since I now have to fit in pre-moving tasks and trying to see as many family and friends as I possibly can before I move in early April.
So in the mean time, I am trying to find time each day and each weekend to do something for myself, whether that is going for a run or spending an hour reading. And I am reminding myself that this is a temporary phase and that life will return to normal soon (well, at least a new normal as I'll be in Charlotte when things slow down eventually).
I am also trying to not put too much pressure on myself to SEE EVERYONE and DO EVERYTHING I think I should before moving. I have a limited amount of free time and I want to spend a significant amount of that free time with Phil before moving, which might mean saying no to some dinners or happy hours that I'd like to say yes to...
What do you do when you start to feel overwhelmed? Are you good at making time for yourself during the busiest seasons of your life?
Both Amber and Kelly did this lately (post idea via Jenna's blog), and I thought it was a fun way to catch up on what is new in their life, so I thought I'd play along!
If we were having coffee this morning...
... I'd tell you that I feel really blessed to have so many people in my life that made me feel so special and loved on my birthday. The number of emails, cards, texts, tweets, and facebook messages, as well as in person birthday celebration with Phil, friends, and family really made my day.
... I'd tell you that it's been a month since I found out about my relocation and that I am certain I have cried more tears in the last 30 days than I have in my any other month of my life, and that I wish that a) I wasn't a crier and b) tears were something that had an on/off switch as I have cried at some rather inopportune moments.
... I'd tell you that I am trying to fight the feelings of sadness by creating a virtual inspiration board with pictures of the things I want to do and the places I want to visit to help spark some positivity and excitement about the move!
... I'd shift from these heavier move-related topics and tell you I am looking forward to celebrating Valentine's Day with Phil next week, hosting a dinner party next Saturday, and spending a day with my nephews next Sunday!
... I'd tell you that I am really excited to register and start planning my trip to Chicago for the marathon! I'll be running it with Amber, Anais, and Lauren, and Kelly will come spectate! And Nilsa lives there! So there is lots to look forward to for that trip! I may or may not already have my long runs scheduled in my planner. ;)
Your turn! If we were having coffee this morning, what would you tell me?
Today, I turn 32. I'm celebrating with Phil by going out to my favorite BBQ place, Brasa, which means I'll cross something off my bucket list!I am looking forward to celebrating with the special guy in my life, and this birthday should far outweigh my lackluster, celebration-free birthday last year, which I spent in Charlotte at a sales conference.
I feel like birthdays are a time of year that make us account for the year behind us and anticipate the year ahead. I am proud of what I accomplished last year, like passing level II of the CFA and PR'ing at my marathon. I had some wonderful experiences, like trips to Chicago for a girls weekend, the Pacific NW for Amber's wedding, and St. Louis for Nora's wedding, and I extended work trips to Austin and California and got to spend time with some of my favorite people and see more of the country. I met a great new guy who has definitely brought me much happiness. So there are lots of great things to look back on.
What I struggle with is looking at the year ahead of me. I know I need to stay positive and I will get behind this move, but I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge the fact that there are going to be a lot of struggles ahead of me, and that the upcoming move is casting a bit of a shadow over the celebration of my birthday. I know that the year to come will probably hand me more struggles than years past. I am up to the challenge, of course, but instead of having a sense of excitement about the year to come, it sort of feels a bit daunting and scary.
For now, I am trying to focus on the fun things that the year ahead of me will hold. Things like my Chicago marathon trip in the fall with some of my favorite fellow runners, trips to explore areas around Charlotte like Asheville, Charleston, Savannah, and Raleigh, trips to cities like New York, Boston, and Pittsburgh to visit URL-turned-IRL friends, and hopefully having this dang CFA experience behind me for GOOD!
So I definitely have quite a few adventures ahead of and lots of exploring to do - both inward exploration as this move will undoubtedly teach me a lot about myself, and exploration of news placess.
I have to believe Sigmund Freud's quote which I am sharing below. I have to believe that, despite all the inevitable struggles ahead, 32 is going to be a beautiful year.
This is going to be a more pensive, sad kind of post because that is how I feel some days. I certainly don't feel sad every day or even most of the day. But I do feel sad some days, which is to be expected.
And I think writing about how I truly feel about things - instead of
painting a picture of a life lived with ease - may be one of the best
ways to deal with these feelings and attempt to put them behind me.
When people ask me how I am doing, which, as you can imagine, is the most frequently asked question these days, the best way I can sum up the experience thus far is that it feels like I am having an out of body experience. It doesn't really feel real. Instead it feels like something that is happening to someone else. It's like I am looking at listings online for apartments that someone else will live in, and I am researching areas around Charlotte that someone else will visit for a weekend getaway. It doesn't really feel like it's my life. It feels like a string of hypothetical decisions. Decisions like, if I had to live in Charlotte, what area would I live in? What run club would I join? Where would I grocery shop? I think through all of these decisions, but it doesn't seem possible that I will be living with these decision, because I never once pictured a scenario that involved moving to Charlotte.
But, it is slowly starting to feel more real. Experiences like signing the relocation agreement (I have a year commitment), being assigned a relocation coordinator, and making the move "Facebook official" made it feel slightly more real last week, and I had a bit of a breakdown on Friday night when talking about it with Phil. I imagine that it will feel even more real when I go to Charlotte at the end of the month and show my mom where I will be working and walk through apartments that I may potentially call home. And then it will REALLY feel real when I buy that one way ticket to Charlotte.
Right now, I see the fork in the road ahead of me, but it hasn't quite hit me that, as Robert Frost so eloquently describes in the poem "The Road Not Taken", I am taking the road less traveled.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost, 1920
I have all these thoughts about the upcoming move, and I read Robert Frost's poem, and I think to
myself: I hope someday I tell the story of this move with a (happy) sigh
and say that taking this road has made all the difference - or at least that
it is not a road I regret taking.
Well, the first month of year sure flew by. I should be surprised given that it was kind of a crazy month for me. I would like time to SLOW DOWN between now and April 8th and then GO SUPER FAST for the year after that. Please and thank you.
Music:
93 Million Miles by Jason Mraz - Full disclosure, I cry almost every time I hear this song. It's like the song was written for me and what I am going through. Like the lines, "Oh my beautiful mother, she told me: son in life you're gonna go far, if you do it right you'll love where you are. Just know, wherever you go, you can always come home" and "Oh my irrefutable father he told me: son sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part. Just know, you've never alone, you can always come back home." Side note: I wish Jason Mraz would shave off his facial hair and cut his hair while he is at it. He was way better looking when he had more of a clean cut look, in my opinion.
Books:
This was a good reading month for me. I managed to read 5 books on top of studying 66 hours - and I really liked all the books I read!
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - Oh how I loved this book! I had marked it as read when I joined goodreads years ago, but I think I did so in error as I do not think I read it in its entirety. I am so glad I did as it's such a beautiful, well-written, timeless book.
Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum- I also loved this book. It was haunting and difficult to read at times, but so good. If you enjoyed Sarah's Key, you should definitely check this book out. It was partially set in Minnesota, so it was cool reading about all the Minneapolis references and knowing exactly what areas she was talking about!
All That I Am by Anna Funder - I also really enjoyed this book. You can read my review here.
Stay by Allie Larkin - This was such a fun, light read. It was similar to the book "Something Borrowed" (which is a book that REALLY bothered me) in that the main character, Van, is in love with her best friend's fiance - except in this book, the main character chose the higher road and did not give into those feelings. The relationship between Van and her dog is really sweet, funny, and endearing. I'm not even a dog lover and I really liked that aspect of the book.
An Abundance of Katherines by John Green - this is the 3rd book I read by Green and probably my least favorite. It was good and I would give it 3.5 stars but it doesn't compare to his later books (which is to be expected). I am still glad I read it, though!
Miles:
My mileage was decent for the month. Most of them were ran on the dreadmill as it's been crazy cold here in Minnesota - like days where the high is in the negative range with bitterly cold wind chills (it was -25 with the windchill a couple of days). I actually hate the treadmill a little bit less than usually do. I am only doing 4-5 mile runs on there, so nothing substantial as I pretty much lose my mind after 5 miles. I am training for a 10 mile race in early March so hopefully the temps warm up soon so I can do more runs outdoors. My total mileage for the month was 71 miles.
Looks:
I am really trying to restrain myself from doing any shopping these first 3 months of the year as I know that there will be costs involved with the move and I want to use as little of the lump sum they give me as possible as I will be saving that to use to move back eventually... So I have been resisting things like 50% off coupons from Banana Republic (sob).
I did get this sweater dress early in the month as it was on sale for $14 and that is just too cheap to resist. Plus I have been wanting a sweater dress for years but because I am tall for my size, I have trouble finding ones that are long enough on me, and this one was! Oh, and as you can see, I cut my hair even shorter at the end of December. That's as short as I will go!
And my other favorite look is a new Anthropologie apron from Ray! She sent me a little something to brighten my day after the whole shock of the relocation. It was so incredibly thoughtful of her! The bright, cheery colored definitely brightened my day! I might need to wear this to the 2013 Julia Child Night (I am definitely budgeting a return trip for that event!).
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