'Tis the season for goal setting! I know January first is completely arbitrary but I do love the fresh start feeling a new year gives us! That said, I've had a complicated relationship with goals, especially since becoming a parent. As a hard-core enneagram 1 and upholder, I have a hard time setting goals that I might not accomplish. For some, setting hard-to-achieve goals is motivating and exciting. For someone like me who is prone to perfectionism and being hard on myself, they aren't as fun in a way. Plus a lot of my life is out of my control now that I have kids, like how much sleep I'm getting and whether I'm healthy. So it's been healthiest for me to give myself a break in terms of setting goals.
I did set 2 goals for 2022. First, I wanted to go through all of the videos on google photos that I've taken over the years - most of which were taken since becoming a parent. Each month, I would go through the videos I took during that month in prior years. This was a super fun project as I got to relive a lot of the early years of parenting! There is one video in particular that Paul has watched at least 20 times - I embedded it below. It's 11 seconds that totally encapsulates the moods of a toddler (he gets frustrated because he can't fit all the animals into a little pick-up truck).
My second goal was to read "The Count of Monte Cristo" with the Conquer a Classic patreon community of From the Front Porch. I did not love the novel but I loved reading along with a group and my experience was really enhanced by listening to the monthly podcast discussion of the book!
All that said, I'm feeling like I'm starting to come out of the fog of the early parenting years. I'm still challenged by parenting but sleep is in a much better place and we have a much better rhythm to our days compared to the last couple of years. So I feel ready to declare some goals!
2023 Goals!
1. Work: My goal is to travel about once/month. Prior to last year, I hadn't been willing to travel as it felt too overwhelming on top of parenting young kids. But I felt ready to put my hat back in the ring and have been letting people know about this goal to travel about once/month. The about part is key, though. I am unlikely to book 12 trips for 2023, especially since my January trip to LA got cancelled as the sales person I was supposed to travel with left the company! I'll consider this goal a success if I book 9 trips during the year.
2. Reading: This year I will be joining the Conquer a Classic group again and we will read "Bleak House" by Charles Dickens. I am hoping to enjoy it more than the Count, though!
3. Relationships: I want to finally get back to going on dates with my husband. We used to get a babysitter and go out about quarterly. Then the pandemic happened, and then bedtime was really challenging for one or both kids. But it's time to get back to doing this! I imagine quarterly dates sounds really paltry to some reading this, but we are home bodies and didn't go out for dinner all that often even before having kids. So once/quarter feels like the right goal for us.
4. Travel: We have decided not to take a spring break trip this year (we envision Will being tough on a plane ride so will take 2023 off from big family travel). But I still want to travel!! First, I want to take a trip to Tucson, AZ with Paul in the spring to visit my sister and her daughter. Second, I want to meet my friend Amber (who I met through blogging 14+ years ago!) for a hiking trip. We are thinking about meeting in Calgary and going up to the Banff area, probably this summer! Nicole, that means I may track you down if I can pull this trip off so I can share a tea or coffee with you!
5. Fitness: I would like to run a couple of 10ks this year. I feel like 10ks are my sweet spot. They don't require "long" training runs. Maybe in a couple of years, I'll feel ready to train for another 10 mile but for now I'm accepting that 10k is the right distance for me. I'd also like to get closer to working out 3 times/week. To achieve this goal, I think I need to start using the gym at work once/week- I'm thinking I could stop working around 3 one day/week so I could workout before we head home.
6. Outdoors: I am going to attempt the "go outside for 23 minutes in '23" challenge set by the Happier podcast. There's a good chance I will not check the box for 365, but I'm aiming for progress over perfection. This will be most challenging in the winter months when I'm in the office as we are gone from 6:45-5ish. So it can be dark when we leave and return. And I don't like being outside when it's dark. But I'm thinking about trying to take one kid out with me after dinner for a walk if it's not too cold out. We'll see how this goes!
Have you set any goals for 2023? Is there anyone who has a complicated relationship with goals like me?
15 comments:
Your video reminded me of one of my all-time favorite videos of my youngest. He's probably just one, sitting but not walking yet, holding a bottle of ketchup, saying, "Ket-tup. Ket-tup. Ket-tup."
There are things I need to do and would like to do this year, but I don't really have goals. Last year, qualifying for Boston and navigating my older son's educational and medical needs were my two big goals, and both wore me out!
I would *like* to re-qualify for Boston and qualify for New York (a bit harder than the BQ), but honestly, I would be totally fine if I didn't do either of those things. I would just run other races. My hamstring is saying other, shorter, races might not be a bad thing.
I also have to make a job transition this year. I know I'm going to be laid off - perhaps as early as February - but I'm going to try to push that back as far as possible. I have a line on a new position, but it wouldn't start until August, and with our planned expenses (both good - vacation! - and bad - soooooo many medical expenses) 6 months not working would be a real drain on our finances.
That video is so cute and funny!
Also, I love the front porch podcast... and love the idea of tackling a big/challenging book. Last year I did War and Peace and this year I'm doing the Bible!
Happy new Year!
That video is the best. I actually have a goals-related post all about family home videos coming up soon that captures SO many of the things you touch on in this post. Stay tuned!
I love goals but try to make ones I know I can achieve. Some are fun, some are practical (like house reno projects)...but I find it motivating.
I only set annual goals, not quarterly or monthly ones, and I only reference my goals list every few months so I don't think about my goals daily (aside from my daily walk outside - but technically that wasn't one of my 2022 goals anyway).
I do have a hard time not painting myself into corners sometimes, so I try very hard to be flexible and say things like: "In this spirit of this goal" or "partially complete."
Can I just say: I AM SO JEALOUS IF YOU AND NICOLE GET TO HANG OUT. We need to schedule a meetup in the Maritimes <3
You have such a good handle on your goals. Yes, my relationship is complicated -- but it has become easier since I stopped having them! At least, overall goals. There are little ones that pop up. And then they are done (or not) and onward!
OMGOMGOMG I AM SO EXCITED YOU ARE GOING TO COME TO CALGARY!!!!!
All these goals sound so great and so doable. You are smart to tailor your goals to where you are in your life right now - like, no big spring break trip because travelling with a little person can be very hard.
23 minutes a day in 23 sounds absolutely doable! What a lovely aspiration. I follow a blogger who spent 1000 hours outdoors last year and that seemed too ambitious for me, but 23 minutes a day *should* be easy given dog walks, but who knows?
I'll be interested in how your travel goes. Does it ever impact your RA? (Obviously, you don't have to answer personal health questions and can tell me to mind my own business, but I'm just curious as to how you manage a chronic health condition when you're not home.)
These goals sound wonderful, and I am so happy you are in this new, slightly easier phase of parenting that allows so many of these things to be possible. And I am super envious that you might get to meet Nicole! And also Banff is beautiful!
I am really curious about your work travel goal. Are there benefits to traveling more frequently? I feel a little dumb asking, but I would love to know more!
I asked my rheumatologist about this as I had an intense trip to Chicago right before I got the flare and wondered if it was too much. She said if my disease was well-managed, a stressful/intense trip shouldn’t have impacted me. So hopefully the travel I plan to do in 2023 doesn’t impact me further or I will have to reassess.
Travel isn’t necessarily objectively tracked at work, but there is kind of an expectation that you will go out with sales people to help them sell more of our products. So on a trip, I go with the sales person and typically meet with a lot of financial advisors. The idea is that by seeing them in person, they will be more likely to use our mutual funds. There are people I work with that travel 2-3 times/month! I will never want or be able to do that. But one 2-3 day trip per month feels doable. It doesn’t feel as crucial in the era of zoom, though, as I can do way more client meetings in a day over zoom than I can when I travel in person. But there is something to be said for doing meetings in person with sales people. They tend to learn more from me and hopefully get better at telling the story without me being there!!
I use the app timehop that shows your previous years pics and photos. I often do it with the girls and they love it too. Good way to check back why we did in previous year on the same day.
Your goals sound all very realistic. I keep putting date night as goal but usually abandon after one or twice, maybe I’ll schedule it this year,
Doing a book club to tackle on difficult or long book is such a great idea, I’ve never done a book club, I think would be fun.
I think that your goals sound very doable and reasonable. There is a fine line between making them too hard and making them too easy, but I feel like yours are both in a good middle place as well as are a good mix of things (aka some are fun, some are work related etc.)
I have many of the same goals each year but my more stringent goals tend to be a little longer term. For example, passing the CFA was a LT goal but I had kind of a plan A (pass all three in a row), plan B (pass) and plan C (if I did not pass, reassess) and each year I would check in to see where I was with that and would of course have the goal of passing that year's exam. A lot of mine are a little more "relaxed" such as "travel abroad" or "learn something new" and many of the home related ones (sprinkler system in the front yard) keep getting pushed to the next year because they are not really necessary. Also, some of my fitness ones are bigger picture (run one race, try to walk an average of 10k steps per day even if that means some days are 0 and some are 200,000); otherwise it would easily become too daunting.
Love these goals!! Especially the date night
These are great!! Good luck on your outside goal! I really did enjoy that in November, although I think ultimately I have mixed feelings about "having" to go outside in the cold. I went for a walk the other day and while it was nice, I did spend almost half of it feeling.... cold. Ha. I feel like the outdoor fresh air is so great, but maybe walking on the treadmill while watching a show could be just as nice. lol. Or, using the hot tub as my "outside time". ;) Definitely not cold then!!
Your travel plans sound so fun! I'd LOVE to go to Banff!
I also think your work travel goal sounds perfect. Leaves wiggle room for a bit more/less while still being overall balanced.
Listen, sometimes I feel like I am too laissez-faire with my goals. Like, "Why can't I get it together to complete this? Am I being TOO nice to myself when I don't complete my goals?!" So I think we all have these insecurities when it comes to goal-setting! I think you know yourself so well that you understand what you need in order to feel good.
And I really like the goals you've set. You are still in the thick of things with young children so you know you don't want to set goals that are too lofty and unachievable. These feel very doable and measurable.
I love your goal list... and the best part was "progress over perfection", that is such a good motto to remember (for all areas of life!).
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