Friday, March 20, 2009

Dating & tips...

So I got into a bit of a discussion argument with a co-worker yesterday about tipping.

Why would we argue about such a thing? Well, I recently went on a date, and the guy really under-tipped.

It's customary to give 15% to a server, and more if their service warrants a better tip. On this particular date, my date left a tip of approximately 12%. Yes, I realize that is close to 15%, but it's still under-tipping. Plus, we had great service & had sat in the waiter's section for about 2.5 hours. That's a long time. Servers are all about turnover - the more times your table turns over, the more money you will make.

I feel strongly about this since I worked as a waitress all through college. I realize in other countries, tipping is not customary since the servers make a higher wage. But in the US, if you don't properly tip, you are a complete arse in my book. And if you don't 'believe' in properly tipping, you should stick to establishments like McDonalds or Hardees.

Am I being a snob here? I mean, said date was in his 30's - there's no reason why he shouldn't understand dining etiquette. His poor tipping leads me to believe one of the following is true: 1) he is extremely cheap, 2) he has poor manners, or 3) he is not very refined.

And no, this wasn't the 'deal breaker' that made me decide not to go on another date with him. It was just one of multiple 'red flags'. Like how he swore a few times during the meal. Or when I said I was trying to come up with a restaurant for my graduation luncheon, he suggested Famous Daves. Seriously????????? Gee, that would sure be a 'special' graduation lunch. Nothing like rewarding 3 years of hard work with a plate of ribs and some fries.

I had already agreed to see this guy before I put the moratorium on internet dating. Big mistake.


Jess said...

I agree with you. A person who is a poor tipper is either rude, selfish or completely clueless. None of those things are admirable qualities. I'm the same as you - I worked at a restaurant in my undergrad and it drove me crazy when people gave crap tips. I'm already making such a poor wage - help me out buddy. I had someone that left me a $2.00 tip on a $90.00 meal and I can say with absolute certainty there was nothing wrong with my service.
I have a question though because it's something I struggle with. What happens when you have really really poor service? Do you still give 15%? I have to admit, just a few months ago I left without giving ANY tip because the person serving us didn't merit one. I felt somewhat guilty, but I didn't feel she deserved one.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Jess - I definitely don't tip when the service is bad. If people keep tipping servers that are terrible at their jobs, that server is never going to leave the position! I feel guilty doing it too, but hope that the person will figure out that this isn't the best job for them!!!

Amber said...

I completely agree with you. I've also served for a long time and it really bothers me when people don't leave proper tips. I probably overtip a lot at restaurants, but I don't care, if I get good service I feel they deserve that because I know serving is not an easy job like some people think it is!

Since I started serving four years ago both Eric and I have started leaving way better tips, Eric always tips around 20% or more when we go out to eat. I know he does it because he knows what I've gone through as a server!

rachaelgking said...

I agree 100% that undertipping is unacceptable (for normal service)... I worked in the industry for about a decade, as everything from a hostess to a server to a bartender. However, I believe the going rate is 20%, not 15%... if I got 15%, I'd be pissed!

Lady Jane said...

Hey first time at your blog!! Since you stated you are going to post reviews on books - I signed up! Love, love books. I just had an opinion on internet dating...I am not a fan of - not because I personally have used it - but my friends have and its viewed as the meat market site. BUT...I would suggest e-harmony. I have had several friends that met their husbands on there. I think it has something to do - with actually being "matched" up rather then trolling pics - like Just an opinion! Love your blog and look forward to more!!

Charbelle said...

So I came across your blog in that I was reading one and clicked on another and then clicked on another and clicked on yours.
I love to read! I run, I just finished my 1/2 marathon in January and I have another one coming up in April.
I clicked on the dating section of your blog tags and I can relate. To so many of your stories, I can completely and totally related and share similar ones.
To this particular post OMG I couldn't agree with you more it is so important to me. I waited tables in college and now my part time job is restaurant hostess. I had a date one time and we sat at the table for a long time. I had already eaten and just had a glass of wine and he had a salad. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as this was our second time out.
He didn't tip at all. So I watched him drive away, went to the atm (I don't carry cash usually) and pulled out $20 walked back in and handed it to the server and apologized. I was MORTIFIED!!! I never answered the phone when he called and eventually he stopped calling.
Match, apparently no matter what city you live in, is just a big meat market!