Tuesday, March 10, 2009

There are a lot of jerks out there...

So my dating life had been going through a bit of a dry spell.... oh, who am I kidding - it was like the Sahara. I hadn't been on a date since August. I talked about that with my friend Katie on our way up to Winter Homecoming and she challenged me to try to go on a date by mid-March. I like a good challenge, so vowed to go on a date by March 15th.

After getting back from Winter Homecoming, I thought - crap. Now how am I going to meet a guy & go on a date? Obviously I'd gone from August - January without meeting a single potential guy, so I really needed an action plan if I was going to meet someone & go on a date w/in the next month.

So, after some prodding from friends, I decided to try match.com. I hated the idea of meeting someone on the internet but figured it was time to take matters into my own hands. I know there is not as much of a stigma around internet dating as there has been in the past, but I still think it's a less socially acceptable way to meet a guy... But I decided to still give it a shot...

So I had been corresponding back and forth with this Brian guy back in February. We had exchanged emailed and had decided it would be a good idea to meet up for a cup of coffee. I had said I would call him on Saturday, February 21st. Then my mom called that morning and told me about my grandpa passing. So I sent Brian an email that morning, telling him that my Grandpa had passed and thus, I would not be calling him as I was heading home. I said I would try to touch base with him when I returned.

He never responded. Which I thought was odd. I thought - what kind of person doesn't acknowledge the receipt of an email from someone, saying their grandfather had passed. I guess I was just expecting a brief 'sorry for your loss' email. But I didn't hear a word from him. So I thought - 'you know what? This is a sign. I don't think I want to get to know a person like this.'

So I didn't call him when I returned from Wyndmere. And I didn't send him an email.

Then he emailed last night, saying, 'sorry about your grandpa, but I am wondering why you haven't called me?' I really didn't want to explain my reasoning for not contacting him - I don't believe in confrontation when nothing will be gained from it, so I just said I was taking a break from dating (which is actually true - I went on a date in February so my dry spell is over and my mission has been accomplished). I wished him luck with his search.

Then I got the most rude email back:

I talked to one of my girl friends and she told me that the whole story about going to a bachelorette party Saturday night and then suddenly emailing me Saturday morning about your getting notified that your grandfather suddenly passing away sounded like a lie to her. I just think if you were so close to him and knew he wasn't well that you wouldn't have even planned on going to the party. If you can't be honest and just say that whatever I said in an email didnt sound interesting to you then fine you can lie. I knew after that email you sent on Saturday that you were making an excuse so I'm glad I didn't have to meet a liar like you.

See, the week before, I had been talking about how I was going to a Bachelorette party. At that point, my grandpa appeared to be doing better. So I was moving forward with my life - going to work, going to class, accepting invitations for nights out with friends. I never thought my grandpa was going to pass away that quickly.

I just can't believe that this person would think that I would make up a death in the family to get out of meeting him. And then to go as far as to call me a liar?

So I responded w/ a link to the obituary. I know I didn't even need to dignify his email with a response, but I really want him to realize how much of an asshole he is. Seriously - who jumps to conclusions like that.

I really didn't talk much about dating with my Grandpa, but when we did talk about dating, he would always say - 'Lisa, be careful. There are a lot of jerks out there.'

And, as usual, he was right.

So I am done with internet dating. My profile has been deactivated and removed from the website. I fulfilled my end of the dating deal since I did go on 2 dates (both weren't matches...)

So it's back to the dating desert for me. And really, the desert sounds pretty good today, compared to biting emails attacking my character and integrity.


Meg said...

wow he sounds really cool---wh odoes that!?!?!?! the sahara soudns better than he does! seriously!!! he obviously would not have been a fun date and there will be a fun date right around the corner!! :)

Amber said...


I seriously cannot believe that. I had to read his email twice. What a PATHETIC LOSER! Clearly, he does not deal with rejection well. I honestly cannot believe someone would be that selfish and insensitive. I say good for you for responding with the link to the obituary. It'll make him feel like a total jerk, which he completely deserves!

I've honestly only heard bad things about online dating sights. I'm sure that sometimes people find "love" on them or whatever, but it's so awkward meeting somebody online I think sometimes. Maybe you'll meet someone through blogging! Haha, then you can get an idea of what their personality is like by reading their blog first!

Jess said...

That is really, really terrible. Sorry you had to get an email like that. He's not worth worrying about, that's for sure. I hope he felt awful after you sent him the link because he certainly deserved it.
There ARE a lot of jerks out there, I agree. But, there also must be A LOT of nice guys out there, right? And, I figure there must be at least one nice guy out there for you (and one for me too, please.) I continue to have faith. And I am with you on the internet dating thing. I know it's so common, but I'd rather meet someone the old-fashioned way. (Unless it's my Blog Crush, of course!)

aimee said...

what a jerk!! you handled it a lot better than i would have. i probably would have sent a really, really, really rude email to him. i'm glad you didn't meet him..he doesn't sound too mentally stable! sorry you had such a bad experience!

Abby said...

Dear Lisa,
I read this blog, and it made me realize how much I truly do love you. You always have, and always will be the person I look up to. The fact that you linked the obituary to the email just made me love you all the more. What a dumbass who is not worth your time, personality, and intelligence. You will find someone so amazing. Trust me. I love ya!