Last week after the Dog Whisperer & I worked things out, I deleted the post where I talked about the initial communication snafu and the post where I talked about second chances. I figured that I should take them down on the off chance that he found this blog and read them. Now I don't care if he finds this. So read away, Dog Whisperer.
When we left off, he had apologized for not calling me back and I had apologized for reacting like I did. He said he wanted to continue to date and see where this could go.
I really thought we were going to move forward from this. He called me early Wednesday morning to tell me to have a good day so I thought - 'yes! He gets what I was saying about communication being important!'
We chatted again on Thursday night and I suggested that we go out for dinner on Saturday night. He thought that sounded good and said he'd call to confirm plans on Saturday afternoon.
I went to church on Saturday night at 5 and had yet to hear from him. When we talked on Thursday I told him I'd be going to church & would most likely meet up with him after that, so I was trying to remain positive and hopeful - thinking maybe he would call during church or was assuming I'd just come over after church.
I sat down in my pew in church and started perusing the bulletin. An excerpt from Psalm 126 was on the front of the bulletin. It reads as follows:
"The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad indeed...
Those that sow in tears shall reap rejoicing.
Although they go forth weeping,
carrying the seed to be sown,
They shall come back rejoicing,
carrying their sheaves."
I read that and thought - wow, that's probably foreshadowing for how the rest of my night is going to go.
And it was - there were definitely some tears on Saturday night.
I called the Dog Whisperer after church at 6 - no answer. So I left a message, asking him what time he wanted to meet up for dinner. He never called on Saturday night. He never called on Sunday. I never did hear from him.
What happened? I have no idea. If he wanted to stop dating, he had his opportunity to end things last weekend. So why apologize and say you want to continue to see me, only to stand me up a few days later? I'm not even angry at him. I am just hurt and confused.
I know we only dated for 5 weeks, but it still hurts. This is the first guy I've been excited about in a long time - like over a year. And I felt like it was really going somewhere - especially since I met his parents, sister, and friends. But apparently I was so wrong.
I guess his nickname should have been Houdini. He sure was good at the disappearing act.
It seems that whenever I see some of my aunts and uncles, they ask if I am dating anyone and when I respond that I'm not, the response I often get is: "Oh, but you've got that great career."
As if it is an either/or proposition. As if having a great career and dating a great guy are mutually exclusive.
I used to shake my head in disagreement when I walked away.
But I guess they were on to something. Maybe my career is all I will have.
I will say this - this experience with the Dog Whisperer might have been 'the final kick in the tires'. I just can't bounce back from these disappointments like I used to. I keep telling myself that I should be good at this by now. I mean, I've been through this a few times.
But no matter how many times my heart has been hurt, it feels like a fresh, brand new feeling every time.
And I am trying to believe that there is some rhyme or reason that God would keep putting me through these disappointments over and over and over again. I'd just really like a sneak peak at this master plan He has for me.
So for now, I am interpreting this as God's sign that I need to throw myself into my work and just forget about dating for awhile.
So that's what I plan on doing.